Oh My Stars

matthew currie astrology mercury 2

Not THAT Mercury either, Wikipedia.

(Part One, covering Mercury in Aries, Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer, is HERE.)

If you want to get anywhere in life, you’ll need to use your brain and apply a little logic. In astrology, those things are ruled by Mercury. No matter what your Ego (The Sun) tells you who you are, or what you feel you are (The Moon), it’s little ol’ Mercury that determines how you use logic and reason and how you choose the words you use with others. It’s the sort of thing that could easily be overlooked when it comes to figuring out who you are… and yet it’s absolutely vital.

Sure, Mercury is great — but anything that can be used can be misused. So let’s take a look at Mercury through the first four Signs in terms of telemarketing calls.

Mercury in Leo

This is considered by some to be a “debilitated” placement, in that you are likely better at hitting the emotional marks than perfectly memorizing your lines. If your director encourages his actors to ad-lib, that’s great. If you’re negotiating with a banker over the logical reasons why you should be approved for the loan, you’d better bring backup. Strong-willed and focused, you are good at using whatever is at hand to support your logic, whereas others tend to base their logic on the observable data. Whether you know what you’re talking about or not, you can sound like an Authority while talking about it. You are likely prone to grand gestures, both in terms of your choice in words and the gestures that accompany them.

“Wow! Incredible! You know, I’ve been working here for two months and still can’t get over how fantastic this thing is! It’s the best-selling, shiniest, most famous garden tool ever! It makes weeding so easy you’ll swear it’s doing all the work! Wait… what do you mean, ‘you live in an apartment’? You could still hang your coat on it, and I’ll bet none of the neighbors have one! Come on… I’m not going away until you buy one. Maybe two.”

Mercury in Virgo

Mercury in Virgo is a strong placement. When you put your mind to it, no one does detail work better than you. There’s likely a little alarm bell that goes off inside of you if you or (more likely) anyone else mangles a quote or mispronounces or misuses a word. You have the ability to logically support any of your stances, whether they were born of logic or not. People with Mercury in Virgo have a capacity to learn almost anything, provided they have enough highlighters, sharpened pencils, and a properly organized binder. You likely have a precise, measured tone to your speaking voice, and have a gift for spotting the logical flaws in your opponent’s case during a debate.

“So: on your current plan you’re paying an average 4.7 cents per minute on your long distance calls. On ours, you’d be paying an average of 4.9 cents per minute, but our rate to Kiribati can’t be beat. Yes, I know you don’t call Kiribati. But you might. They have some interesting plants there that are being used to find new asthma treatments, and you’re sounding a little wheezy. Do you really want to be left out when the inevitable happens and you’re lying there, gasping for breath at your current service provider’s bill?”

Mercury in Libra

More often than not, Mercury in Libra tends to see things in terms of the relationships between things and/or people. This makes it an excellent placement for planning the seating arrangement at a party or sorting out who’s telling the truth and who’s lying, but doesn’t function as well at things like doing your taxes. Mercury in Libra is much better suited to tasks like people watching rather than watch repair. Nonetheless, this isn’t a “fluffy” placement: when you set your mind to it, you can be thorough and efficient in your intellectual processes. You know how to swear as well as the next guy, but have a better sense for when it will make the most impact, as opposed to doing it every third word.

“…And it comes in a black simulated leather carrying case. That means you’ll have all the ability to accessorize with it that you would with actual black leather, but more animal-friendly. Yes, I understand you don’t actually need a new hedge clipper, but you’d look great with it. Where should I send this to? What? No, of course you’re going to buy one. It was all YOUR idea. Honest! Remember? You don’t? Oh well. You don’t want me to cry now, do you? Good. How many would you like?”

Mercury in Scorpio

You’re probably tired of being told your words and thought processes are “intense” and “serious.” The truth is that you do “intense” and “serious” very well. Even if you’re just playing a board game with the kids, you are capable of winning with ruthless intensity… and cataloguing your errors if you lose in order to gain vengeance — um, I mean play better — next time. You have a talent for finding the hidden weaknesses and back entrance to any fortress you face, and may be more comfortable with that approach, even if the front door is wide open. Mercury in Scorpio has a talent for cutting to the chase, digging in the dirt, and analyzing the effectiveness of potential pick-up lines before selecting one. When you make an effort with your tone of voice, no one does “gravitas” like you can.

“Here’s how this is going to play out: I’m going to ask you a few questions about your past vacations. Then I’m going to look at my cheat sheet here and tell you how many hundreds of dollars you would have saved with us. Then you’ll object, I’ll counter with an improved offer, and then you’ll accept. Two months from now, you’ll be in your dream time-share on the beach in Haiti. Everyone’s happy. Now, go get your checkbook.”

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