Oh My Stars

matthew currie astrology don ricklesDon Rickles, the worlds greatest Insult Comedian, (May 8/1926, New York City – April 6, 2017)


Don Rickles was a Taurus. Like most Tauruses, he was kind of slow and lazy. In fact, his pulse stopped twelve years ago and he only started decomposing today. That may be because he has Sun square Neptune in his birth chart, so he was more than ready to believe he was still alive until he clued in, after someone pointed out to him that he’d started to smell better lately. Taurus is ruled by Venus, and Venus rules the kidneys. Don died of kidney failure, after a prolonged bout of failed punchlines.

Don had Moon in Aries. Moon in Aries didn’t make him the most patient or understanding of guys. It was somewhere within conjunction range of his Venus, though, so at least he got a lot of pleasure out of stepping over people on his way to the front of the line.

We don’t know what Rising Sign Don Rickles had, so we can only assume that his face was the result of some kind of childhood accident — like, being born.

His Mercury was in Aries, in a close trine to his Neptune — just as his Sun was square Neptune. This gave him a gift for creative communications, and perhaps gave him an unrealistic Ego. This is a lot like my ex wife, who likes to spend a lot of time finding new ways to tell everyone how great she is. Don got a lot of his material from his wife, and so did I. That’s probably because we both own home liposuction kits.

Don Rickles had a strongly-aspected Mars in Pisces. This means that there was relatively little holding back his aggressive tendencies. We’re fortunate he managed to channel most of that into comedy. You know what the difference is between “aggressive” and “Pisces”? In most cases, about three drinks. They’re a lot like the Irish that way, and what can I say about the Irish that hasn’t already been said in their arrest warrants?

Mostly though, Don’s personality was driven by a Sun-Mars-Saturn-Neptune Grand Cross. That’s a really difficult combination for a person to go through life with. It can be even more difficult for the people around a person like that to deal with. I think we can all be thankful that he converted that perpetual inner turmoil into comedy. Now, if only you could convert that face of yours into something creative and beautiful, maybe you’d be a famous millionaire too.


Seriously though, folks: I loved Don Rickles. When I was growing up, he was one of the funniest people in the world. In a way, it made him sort of… beautiful. And by the way, you’re all beautiful people yourselves. Thanks for dropping by the blog. You all look great, for 90-year-olds. Now get outta here.

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