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Oh My Stars

Oh My Stars

The Astrology Of Why Your Soulmate Situation Sucks

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I can’t tell you for sure whether or not it’s love that really makes the world go round, but it’s certainly a large part of an astrologer’s business. And, just as the average doctor gets to see a lot more sick people than healthy ones, over the years I have developed a real eye for what can go wrong in people’s love lives.

Most of the complaints people have about their love lives fall into one of a few distinct categories.

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I don’t have one: This can be a painful situation. I believe some of us have a greater need to be loved than others, and for some even a short time without a relationship can hurt. Sometimes these dry spells can simply boil down to the transits you’re having. After all, if you are a big fan of ice fishing, it’s easy to see why you won’t get much of it in during the summer. Saturn spends an average of 2 1/2 years transiting through a house, like the Fifth House of romance or The Seventh House of committed relationships. That doesn’t necessarily imply a complete lack of romance, but it certainly makes for flinty soil to plant the seeds of love in. If you want love, you need to understand the circumstances that you’re in, and that some times are better than others. It also helps to know what when upcoming transits will improve your odds of finding what you want.

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Also: understanding your own birth chart can be incredibly helpful when it comes to finding a partner. Let’s be honest here: whether we like it or not, there’s certain form of salesmanship that can be involved in finding someone and getting a relationship going. Knowing the pros and cons of the product you’re selling – yourself– is the key to sealing the deal. And of course understanding your self and your needs and what you are drawn to can also help you find something that’s right for you it works… as opposed to the usual bad choices you may find yourself making.

The one I have is starting to stink: Nobody’s perfect, and that includes your partner. We can all fall into patterns and habits around our relationships that do more harm than good. Understanding your partner’s birth chart and transits can clarify what’s going on with him or her, when things are likely to improve, and when – most importantly – what we can do to understand it and work with it better.

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I want the old one back: Now we’re getting into tricky territory. The circumstances of a break up can often feel like you’ve had a limb amputated, and like people who experience Phantom Limb Syndrome, the thing that isn’t there can still cause pain. Sometimes this is a matter of looking at the partner’s chart and your own and understanding why you didn’t hold together, or what could have been done differently. However it’s worth noting that knowing “things could have been done differently” in the long run isn’t always terribly helpful. Then again, sometimes these things can be repaired, and knowing the transits can help with that.

The one I have is not the one I want: Welcome to soap opera country! This happens to people more than many would like to admit. You are in a relationship with someone and it is going okay or indifferently or badly, and then someone shows up who seems to be perfect. Before you know it, you have a degree of involvement with two different people. If you ask anyone who’s been in a situation like this, you’ll know it’s pretty rare for things to work out just fine completely on their own. Talking to an astrologer though can help you understand the pros and cons of each relationship individually, understand why things may be going unusually well or unusually poorly with this one or that one, and what the long-term forecast is likely to be with either party. And of course an astrologer can also help you understand yourself and why this whole thing happened in the first place. This can help you come to a clear-headed decision.

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My love is not being returned properly: It could be just a phase, or rather a transit. Or it could be that the relationship was wired for a limited lifespan in the first place. Or you could be fundamentally misreading the situation. In either case, understanding how old your birth charts interact and how the transits are affecting your behaviors can be incredibly helpful.

I don’t want one: That’s okay. We can talk about lots of other stuff too.

 (Part Two is HERE.)

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