Oh My Stars

Oh My Stars


Learn Astrology: Mercury, And The Mystery Of Opossum Nipples

posted by Matthew Currie

YouTube Preview Image

 

(SCENE: The Birth Chart, which is completely empty and featureless except for the Sun and Moon, who said a small distance away from each other on deck chairs. Nothing is happening.)

SUN: (Scratches himself)

(There is another long pause)

MOON: (burps)

(Another long pause)

SUN: So…

(Pause)

MOON: Yup.

(Long pause)

SUN: Not much going on around here.

(From off in the distance we hero voice. It is MERCURY.)

MERCURY: Hey! Hey you guys! Sounds to me like you could use some conversation!

SUN: Who’s that?

MERCURY: It’s me, Mercury! I’m here to bring you the gifts of thought, language, and ideas. Sure, I rule lots of other things like short trips and telephones and signing contracts and negotiating and such, but but really, I’m mostly about generating and exchanging ideas and thinking about things.

MOON: That seems like an awful lot of work.

MERCURY: Oh, it can be, but it’s all worth it. Like, for example… have you ever considered the mystery of the opossum’s nipples?

SUN: What?

MERCURY: That’s right, the mystery of opossum nipples. You see, all mammals have nipples – except for the spiny echidna and platypus. You see, mammals tend to follow what’s called the “one-half rule” : they have an average litter-size equal to one half the total number of their nipples. The majority of human births are single, and humans have two nipples. There are exceptions of course, like cats who have six nipples usually, but often have a litter of more than three kittens. And it’s always an even number, except for the Virginia Opossum which has thirteen. Thirteen nipples!

MOON: Well, that’s… interesting, but I’m not really sure what it has to do with our current situation.

MERCURY: Think about it for a minute.

SUN: Well, let me see… I don’t think it has anything to do with how empty this place is, does it?

MERCURY: Not exactly, but I think you have to admit that now that you have something to think about, the place is a lot less boring. Plus we can talk about it!

MOON: (Pauses to think) Why do men have nipples?

MERCURY: You see? You’re getting the hang of it! I’ve just opened up your basic experience to a much broader world. I’ve given you the opportunity to grow and to change and to learn from others and from the world around you. I’ve given you the opportunity to become something greater than yourself. That’s something you never had before I showed up!

SUN: I still think I am pretty great, thank you very much.

MERCURY: And so you are, big guy. But now you have the chance to be even greater!

SUN: I like the sound of that!

MOON: So anyway, what’s the deal with the opossum nipples?

MERCURY: Well, I like to spot patterns in the world around me, and that’s something I find interesting. I have no idea why it is though. Same story with men’s nipples.

MOON: You mean we’re going to have to figure out answers for ourselves sometimes?

MERCURY: Yes, but that’s part of the fun of life. It’s certainly going to be better than sitting around doing nothing.

SUN: Well then, welcome to our place, Mercury. Pull up a deck chair!

MERCURY: Don’t mind if I do. Now, as for the question about male nipples: there is no one definitive answer, but science offers several possible explanations…

MOON: This isn’t always going to be about nipples is it?

MERCURY: Absolutely not! There will be social pleasantries and pasta recipes and gossip and news and sports scores and philosophical concepts and wiring diagrams and minor complaints and knock knock jokes and history lessons and forensic accounting and sudoku and crossword puzzles and home handyman tips and millions of other things too!

SUN: (To Moon) He certainly has given us a lot to think about.

MOON: Yeah, and it’s not exactly quiet around here anymore either.

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Want a free month of my NEW Subscription Service? Write me for details!

CLICK HERE to join the Oh My Stars Facebook Fan Page, and get exclusive content, an additional discount on a reading, more material on blog entries, AND ANOTHER free e-book!

 



Previous Posts

The Astrology Of The October 2014 Eclipses
October features two Eclipses: a Lunar Eclipse on the 8th in Aries and Libra, and another on the 23rd at the beginning of Scorpio. Astrologers and students of astrology often get worked up into a panic about Eclipses, but that sort of thing usually proves to be unwarranted. If you want to learn abou

posted 1:04:51am Oct. 02, 2014 | read full post »

Your Moon Astrology Forecast For October 2014
(Finally — a practical astrology forecast that EVERYONE can use, regardless of their Sign! Make sure you bookmark this page and come back — it could be the most useful thing I’ve written all month!) October sees Mercury Retrograde from the 5th to the 25th and yes, that's going to be kind o

posted 10:55:44pm Sep. 29, 2014 | read full post »

Venus In Libra: Make Money, Look Better, See Cute Animals!
Okay, I admit it: I sort of oversold how much good Venus in Libra will do for you with that title. I was just too eager to please, and that happens sometimes with Venus in Libra. It's not like there's any one planetary placement that will prove to be the magical cure for everyone's problems. And

posted 2:21:14am Sep. 29, 2014 | read full post »

Making Astrology Work: The Rectification Of Kim Jong Un
Last time, I spoke a little about how astrology cannot only predict the future, but can also be used to select optimum timing… in other words, to help you make the future you want. That concept can be a little mind-bending for some people, but if you thought that was weird, try this: if astrology

posted 7:33:33pm Sep. 26, 2014 | read full post »

Using Electional Astrology To Get Real, Practical Results
Everything happens for a reason – but sometimes we can tip the balance of the Universe in our favor. Have you ever had something important planned that fell apart because of some annoying little complication, like you missed the bus, or messed up the address, or something like that? Or have you

posted 12:00:10am Sep. 25, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.