Would you like to lose weight as if by magic? Wouldn’t it be great to control your diabetes by adding more cupcakes to your diet? Would you love to save hundreds on car insurance with one quick phone call? Yeah. Me too. Of course life almost never works out that way, and astrologically speaking, whenever something is just too good to be true (but we believe it anyway), we have Neptune to thank for that.
Ha! See what I did there? Sorry about that. Neptune can promise a lot but doesn’t always deliver. Don’t get me wrong: Neptune packs a good buzz. Every time you suspend your disbelief in order to watch a show, you’re getting full value out of your Neptune. There’s always part of your brain that knows you’re just looking at actors who are playing at being people they really aren’t, speaking dialogue written by someone else, and being projected onto a screen in front of you and not really happening, right there and now. But like any good buzz, it can be carried too far.
On the other hand, without Neptune your life would be about as entertaining as the daily existence of the carpenter ant. Not only would your time here on Earth be all work and no play, you wouldn’t even be able to imagine what “play” could be like.
Consider for a moment the path so many relationships follow. There is initial attraction and you can clearly see all the great things about the other person, and can easily dismiss or downplay the negatives. Those who stand outside of the relationship have a much clearer view of it. Your friends will all tell you that getting involved with a violently angry, married serial arsonist who enjoys firing off his shotgun at random intervals to liven up parties is a bad idea and likely won’t end well… but what do you care? You’re in LOVE!
Then eventually the reality kicks in, and you feel like you’ve returned from a three-month drunken bender. Everyone is looking at you like you’re a lunatic, and you can’t find your keys, your wallet, or your dignity.
It’s always easier to see someone else’s Neptune than one’s own… whether you’re shaking your head at someone’s delusional romance that will never work out, or baffled that someone could enjoy such and such a movie as much as they do (when it’s clearly stupid, with terrible acting and dialogue), or you’re simply trying to pick a laughing drunk up off your carpet before your Mom arrives. Even people who think they’re living perfectly logical and sensible lives are prone to self-delusion. Yes, James Randi, even you have a Neptune in your birth chart somewhere.
Then again, Neptune can inspire us. It can fill us with wonder. It can even save lives, giving us hope to go on when there’s no obvious hope on the horizon. Mercury may be the planet that remembers where the lifeboats are, but Neptune keeps your imagination fired up and keeps you sane while you wait for the rescue… otherwise, it might be just easier to jump overboard and end the whole thing. Sometimes that warm Neptunian buzz happens in a good cause, and despite the obstacles and potential craziness, you see it through, and it turns out to be A Good Thing after all. That’s the magic that keeps us getting involved with Life and with other Humans, despite the obvious risks. The human brain has receptors for chemical messages that help you think things through logically and react quickly to external stimuli… and it also has receptors for opioids and cannabinoids, so they must have their place too, somehow.
And besides… looking at the pictures I posted here could help you lose weight (by helping you think about cute baby animals rather than the pain of your exercise routine) or could help you control your diabetes (if you stare at them to keep yourself distracted from that extra cupcake) or save you hundreds on your car insurance (if you stay put and focus on them for entertainment instead of going street racing).,
If that isn’t good enough for you: my apologies. I lured you into reading this by playing into your dreams of a softer, easier and better life, and I should know better. I’m sorry.
Then again: if you were entertained for a minute or two, Neptune has done its job and we’re all better for it. And oh look at that otter OMG OMG OMG it’s so cute I’m going to scream!!