Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley

A False Sense of Self-Control

posted by Guy Finley

Sufi teachings speak of the “commanding self,” Christianity of deceitful interior “friends,” and virtually all other religions hold forth the idea that we have many “I’s” or divergent personalities within us, and also that some of these selves are for us and some against us. My term “Temporary Person in Charge” describes the appearance of various yet familiar “I’s” that appear within us to respond to the ever-changing flow of life. Key to grasp here is that each newly surfacing “I” we take as being our true self isn’t conscious to us until some problem presents itself. With our once shaky sense of “I” vested in this new and commanding “I” (that knows what needs to be done to put life aright), we again feel in control of our lives.

What remains unseen by us is that each of these false “I’s” is, in reality, a kind of shadow self — its actual nature little more than a temporary substructure of thought fashioned from the content of our own past experience. What this means is that this “self” — which seems to solve our problems — is, in fact, a part of the problems’ recurring appearance. Think about this deeply: The self that resists any other self is itself an extension of the self it is resisting. This is why we must stay awake and work to remain in the present moment. If we can remain observant to the appearance and running around of these vagrant “I’s” – as opposed to identifying with one of them – we can be free of their limiting influences.

Make a Real New Beginning

posted by Guy Finley

Real Life is change itself, a ceaseless flow of creative forces expressed in ever-new forms. So, our inability to make a fresh start isn’t because Life refuses us what we need to succeed. The problem is this: before we can hope to make a real new beginning in life, we must deliberately release our old claims upon it; for it is only in letting go of whatever binds us to our past that we are free to realize the promise of who we may yet be.

(Audio) Make Being in Presence Your First Priority

posted by Guy Finley

In this short talk, Guy Finley talks about how the ‘presence’ moment always gives us everything that we need in the moment that it is needed.

Click here to listen to “Make Being in Presence Your First Priority”

Three Secret Ways to Start Your Life Out Fresh

posted by Guy Finley

Here are three new and true beginnings you can start with today that will put you in the right place for leaving old self-defeating choices behind you for good.

1. Each time you find yourself face to face with some overbearing man or woman who in some way intimidates you, dare to make this new and true beginning: act toward that person in exactly the way you want to act, and: not in the way you think he or she expects you to.

Within the guidelines of being kind and true, speak to that person as though you are completely free to say what you feel, for you are. What any individual may think about what you have to say is not your concern. So let this false concern go.

This highly personal act of independence will likely cause you to tremble. That’s all right. And should your shakiness become visible, proceed anyway. This true beginning will reveal that the cause of your unhappy endings with others has never been in what they’ve demanded of you, but rather within your own impossible and conflict-creating demands on yourself: that you be in charge of your own life and, at the same time, please everyone that asks you to do so.

2. The next time you begin to feel any conflict or confusion over some shaky situation that won’t go away, dare to make this new and true beginning: refuse to cave in to any painful inner prompting that urges you to just “get things settled.”

Deliberately defy those clamoring thoughts and feelings that want to send you on a search outside of yourself for peace of mind. This true beginning will help you to see that bringing an end to conflict must begin and end within you. Look nowhere else!

No snap or desperate decision made in conflict can ever resolve any shaky inner state, because part of any conflict is the fear of making a wrong choice, and fear is at the root of your shakiness, not the solution to it.

3. Any time someone criticizes or corrects you, dare to make this new and true beginning: go against your habitual urge to defend yourself.

Instead of reacting with heated resistance to something you don’t want to hear about yourself, just listen to what’s being said. This true beginning gives you the opportunity to see what you need to see about yourself. And here’s a good guideline for evaluating moments such as these. The more you want to resist the things being said about you, the more you need to hear those very words. So don’t criticize back, either out loud or under your breath. If you meet these moments with an argument, you’ve already lost.

Remember, there’s always something to learn from something said that stings, even if it’s just to discover that you’re still being tripped up by the long shadow of your own falsely inscrutable image.

 

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