Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley

The Pain of Being Betrayed

posted by Guy Finley


The pain we feel over being betrayed is not the fault of the one who has fractured our trust. Such anguish belongs to, and is created by, those darkly combustible parts of us into which we so readily fall and become inflamed whenever certain self-supports are unexpectedly pulled out from beneath us.

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Any “I” that hates relates not to the person it holds responsible for this rage, but this “I” sits in secret relationship with ruinous negative states that have neither place nor power in this world without drawing some sleeping soul into an unconscious conspiracy called “blame.”

Let Go of the Pain of the Past

posted by Guy Finley

Without our unconscious consent, regardless of what we may have done against others, or ourselves, the past is powerless to punish us in the present moment.

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Do what is in your power: refuse to do what is not. It is not in your power to change events gone by, but you can let go of the time-bound self that wants to chain you to pain that only exists in the past!

Free Yourself from the Tyranny of the Past

posted by Guy Finley

Our task, if we want to be free human beings — if we want a life in which we no longer carry around with us “what he did,” “what she didn’t do,” “what never worked out” — begins with discovering that there can be no real freedom for us until we understand the nature of the tyranny of the past that still lives within us. One of the main areas of this unchallenged dictatorship that still holds us captive is our inability to forgive.

Do you know people — maybe who aren’t even alive anymore — that you haven’t been able to forgive? Are there certain events in your life you just can’t release? What you can’t release isn’t the person or the condition that you see as being the source of your pain. What seems to be “stuck” isn’t an old situation you can’t release… it’s a thought. It’s the negative effect of a certain order of mind that, in its darkness, lives as a prisoner of a past presence.

Over and over again, certain negative images — crammed full of the conflict felt in the moment of their creation — are unconsciously revisited by a part of us that actually wants that dark visitation. Why? Because this familiar pain confirms, in a very strong fashion, our certainty of who we are by re-creating what once happened to us in life. Something in our own mind actively recollects what it does from our past, regardless of how it wrecks the present moment for us. To be punished by any past presence is to be a prisoner of our own past.

A “prisoner mentality” is part of any thought or feeling that blames something outside of you for what amounts to self-induced pain. Was there a person who did something terrible? Yes. This planet is filled with toxic, cruel human beings — victims themselves of a pain they can’t escape. But does that mean that you should spend your life running, hiding, resenting what was? No! In a word, you aren’t free of your own past because you don’t see what’s happening to you, within you, in the present.

Something, anything — be it an event, a smell, a sound, a thought — will stir the mind and call up within it the memory of a person, an event, a condition; and at that moment something in you grabs onto whatever it was that happened, and “bang!” — bitterness, sorrow, regret, or rage results. With this suffering comes “proof” to the sleeping mind (that is revisiting its own images) of exactly who (or what) is responsible for this pain. Blame feeds the fire, keeping the self in place that feels as though the pain it has is due to the person it blames.

These thoughts and feelings that come flooding back into you are not your thoughts. They have no real right to be there, running through you unattended, ruining your life. But you grant them entrance to your mind and the power to make you ache every time you consent to relive what someone did or didn’t do to you.

There is freedom in realizing — seeing the truth of the fact — that whatever is holding you captive right now has no right to do so. None! The split second that you see you’re a captive of your own mind, you have the freedom to challenge it with the new understanding that belongs to your new, true mind — a mind that can’t be made a prisoner of anything.

If you want to have real forgiveness, it begins with giving yourself up each and every time some past presence presses its will in and upon you. Use the will of your new understanding to lay down your “self” when you see it’s needed. Do this, and something new will rise where you once were — free from the past — which means you will be free to forgive.

Snap Out of Depression and Find the Will to Live

posted by Guy Finley

Question: I’ve tried to work but can’t get beyond a major depression. My home has been stolen from me by one of the banks that our government has bailed out, and my credit has been destroyed. Can I move forward? No. At this point I feel my family is better off without me. Yes, it will be tough on them. In time, I hope they can forgive me for being so selfish but I cannot take this agonizing nightmare any longer.

Answer: Think about what you’re saying here; my life — this sometimes terrible gift of being, but always precious possibility of knowing that I’m loved (and can feel love for others) — is worth less than a house, or whatever!

Snap out of it! Yes, times are tough, maybe the worst you’ve ever seen to date. Yes, you’re looking at an uphill battle; but the key word here is “uphill” — meaning towards something new, something that can be brighter and better than anything you’ve known before. The dark parts of you — the deeply depressed negative parts that are whispering “take the easy way out,” don’t want you to know it’s possible to start life over, that you can realize new values in life that aren’t measured in terms of possessions. These dark spirits (and they are dark spirits) want you to feel that all is at an end so that they can end your chances of freeing yourself from their punishing presence.

There is no escaping life, plain and simple; we can’t end our pain (as dark spirits would have us believe) by running from it. We either meet what the moment reveals with a wish to learn what God would have us go through (in order to love Him more), or we turn away from this light of what we’re being shown about our character. God never places us in a situation greater than the strength he will give us to deal with it…IF we remember Him first in these times.

Everything passes. This storm will too, if you face it and ask God to help you find what you need to go through it. The storm that never passes is the one we run from.

Lastly, the voices in your head, the dark and despairing ones, are liars. They do not know what will happen to you; in fact, they tell you what they do about your possibilities in order to keep you from realizing possibilities that they can’t know anything about! Listen to truth. God loves you. Give this love back, even when you don’t feel it… by acting as though you do, because you know it exists… and you’ll be given all that you need to turn this dark hour into a life of light.

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