Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat Archives

Question: Why Do Friends Judge What Makes Me Happy?

A reader, who I’ll call Sandy, wrote to say she was making progress with doing what she wanted but her friends and family continued too judge her choices. Sandy pared down her lifestyle so she could quit her good job […]


From March Madness to Happiness

It’s been a long winter for many of us. I’m sick of being cooped up because of snowstorms and frigid temperatures. As the March weather gets better, there will be a lot of catching up to do. I think women […]


“I Love Me” Tip: Love Your Heart

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and […]


Are You Putting a Dark Shadow Over Your Life?

Some people seem to thrive on worrying. It can seem as if they look for things to worry about. Are you one of those? Constant worrying is a happiness buster. It creates stress, which is detrimental to your health and […]

Strengthening Your Spirit with Happiness After a Cancer Diagnosis

Most people know at least someone who has cancer or have had it. It can bring you down in spirit. When I met cancer survivor Cathy Hamilton, I was struck by her positive attitude about getting through a cancer diagnosis. […]

You Know You’re Happy Because…….

Can you actually say that you’re happy? Saying “yes” to that question seems to be more automatic than heartfelt to most people. It’s like we think that we’re “supposed to be” happy and don’t want to look bad for answering […]

Emotions & Happiness

Positive emotions tend to be more fleeting. Negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, etc. often stick with you longer. Good feelings from positive circumstances are often short-term. Stress can become a lifestyle. Guilt lingers. Anger can foster a […]

Be Happy for No Reason

Do you need a reason to be happy? Do you look to other people or what you can have to be happy. Do you count on having a romantic partner to do it for you? When I was a DoorMat, […]

Giving Yourself Space

Many of us think that not having activity going on around us is uncomfortable. We don’t know how to handle silence or having a little time with nothing specific to do. When I was a DoorMat, I couldn’t handle what […]

Thoughts on Happiness

Yesterday I had a guest post from Marilyn Tam called Are You Truly Happy and Free?  Happiness is so important to strive for. We all want it but it can seem elusive. So today I have a video that I […]

Have You Chosen to Be Happy?

Most people would ideally like to be happy. Yet achieving it can seem elusive. Having been an unhappy DoorMat for many years I can attest to how wonderful it is to actually be consistently happy. That’s why I’m delighted to […]

Are You Considered a Pollyanna?

Since I’ve been posting about happiness all week, I thought this topic was appropriate to end the week—seeing the world through the eyes of the kind of optimism that being happy can give you. Sometimes when I try to be […]

Why the American Happiness Formula Is Making our Kids Depressed

I’ve been talking about happiness all week. It’s important to understand how our adult concept of happiness affects our kid. That’s why I’m happy to have Jonathan Hewitt, author of Life Ki-do Parenting: Tools to Raise Happy, Confident Kids from […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Happiness

This is post 212 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Stoke Your Happiness Mojo!

While it’s not officially happiness week, I’m calling it that and my posts this week will all relate to happiness. Why? BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!! I endured many years of unhappiness when I was a DoorMat. Even […]

Getting Older vs. Getting Old

My birthday is this week and I’m excited. Yet I know many people, especially women, who dread each birthday like it’s a curse. I always find that a shame, especially since I’m older than many of them. But I become […]

What Really Matters to You?

What makes you happy? Many people say lots of money or expensive things. Kids tend to reach for the biggest one of something, thinking bigger is better. Many of us still do that. We think more expensive or fancier is […]

Connect to Your World

Many of us live with blinders on, walking down the street without actually noticing who’s there. It seems like life moves much faster these days, with more effort put into making ends meet and keeping up with technology. Texting, social […]

Let your Passions Take Gymnastics

How rigid are you? I have a friend who has what I call a cookie cutter life. Karen was raised to be a traditional sort of woman and became teacher because she was told it’s a good profession for women. […]

The Benefits of Being Happy

People tend to look for ways to feel happy, but they’re often fleeting. Often we’re so busy trying find happiness we don’t recognize it when you have it. Happiness isn’t something you build by buying stuff or adding more bells […]

Can Money Ever Buy Happiness? Yes!

I write a lot about how money can’t buy happiness. Having it won’t substitute for unhappiness inside you. But Laura Vanderkam, my guest today, has an interesting take on it. She’s the author of several books, including her new one, […]

What’s Going On For You Right Now?

Many of us dwell in the past, letting old memories affect our present life. Or we look to the future with expectations that can be positive or negative. Doing so is usually reflected in to your level of happiness. If […]

Get an Attitude of Happiness

I’m a happy person—a very happy person! People say they envy me as they try to figure out what I have that they don’t so maybe they can buy it too! Happiness is one of those feelings that’s hard to […]

Do You Have the Patience to Be Happy?

Today is Day 27 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. You have the patience to wait on line to buy a ticket to a movie you’re anxious to […]

The Happiness “Drug”

I always encourage people to do what they can to find real happiness. I don’t mean the kind that comes from making a purchase and feels good until you find the next item that will make you happy. I’m talking […]

Making Peace with Problems

I’m delighted to have Joyce Shafer back as my guest today. She’s a Life Coach, the author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say and other books/e-books, and also publishers State of Appreciation, […]

Happiness Right Now

I’m delighted to have Gina Lake  as my guest today. Gina is a spiritual teacher who is devoted to helping others awaken and live in the moment through her many books, online courses, and intensives. She is also a gifted […]

Make Your Smile Happy

Do you assume that smiling means you’re happy? Think again! Often a smile is covering up unhappiness. Many people pleasers are brought up told they should smile as much as possible since it makes you seem more agreeable. I was […]

Listen to Oprah & Be Happier!

Oprah Winfrey’s last show aired this week. It feels like forever that Oprah has been teaching us wonderful lessons about how to live our lives fully, and paths to develop real happiness. I was honored to do a whole hour […]

Will the World End Tomorrow?

I’ve lived through several warnings about the world ending and heard stories of people selling their homes, spending their money and then being in bad shape when life went on. It seems people need an excuse to enjoy their lives. […]

Don’t Waste Your Life!

Yesterday I posted an interview with Rita Cosby, an award-winning journalist who wrote the amazing book, Quiet Hero, the story her dad’s harrowing journey as a member of the Polish Resistance during WWII and how she connected to him after […]

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank ...

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to ...

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks ...

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to ...

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when ...

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »


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