Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Are You a Bully—to Yourself?

Self-Love logo

Today is Day 6 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™.

If anyone ever accused me of being a bully I’d immediately refute it. I try to treat people with respect and love. In my DoorMat days I went out of my way to be nice to everyone and please him or her. So how could I be a bully? Yet when I paid attention, I recognized that I was a bully to myself.

When you listen to how you talk to yourself, you may recognize that you too are a bully—to YOU, like I was. Critical self-talk, pushing yourself to lose weight, beating yourself up for making a mistake is bullying! If someone did those kinds of mean things to you, it would be labeled bullying. But when you do it to yourself it’s hard to recognize it.

Treating yourself in hurtful ways is being a self-bully, which is very unloving and damages your self-image. When I consciously listened to what I said to myself, I recognized my inner bully and how much I was hurting me. I knew that it had to stop as an act of self-love.

Nobody likes bullies, no matter who it is. If you self-bully you create a negative attitude toward yourself. That keeps your self-esteem low and makes it hard to love yourself. Plus, it makes you feel bad. If you think you’re guilty of being a self-bully, pay attention to what you say to yourself. Do you recognize any of these patterns?

•    “What’s wrong with me that I can’t work as fast as my colleague?” Your colleague may have been doing it longer or makes more mistakes. Counter those thoughts by reminding yourself that you’re doing your best. You still have your job so your boss is OK with your performance. You should be too!

•    “I’m a fat pig. It’s pathetic how I can’t lose weight.” Most of the time people who tell me they’re fat aren’t fat. I was like that too. Extra pounds don’t make you fat. Instead of making yourself feel worse about wanting to lose weight, get help doing it. Find someone you can buddy up with to exercise together and encourage each other. The bottom line is it’s unlikely you can bully your way slimmer.

•    “Why can’t I do things right? I’m a  loser when I make mistakes” Do you like when others put you down? I doubt it! Yet we do it to ourselves. Loving yourself includes accepting that nobody is perfect–not even you! When you goof up, FORGIVE yourself! Bullies attack.

If you pay attention and recognize any self bullying, like negative self-talk, tell yourself out loud to stop. Acknowledge that you don’t want to be a bully. Forgive yourself for past bullying. Give yourself love with kind words. You can stifle your inner bully IF you choose to love yourself instead.

Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days.” and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Previous Posts

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not

posted 12:01:08pm Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Are You a Needy People Magnet?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did when I was a DoorMat. These needy folks would bring me down with their dem

posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.