Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Saying “Yes” to Spontaneity

I’ve always considered myself a spontaneous kind of girl. It sounds good to think I am! But lately I’ve been so immersed in writing books that I try to keep a tight schedule. Last minute invites were automatically turned down as my time was already planned. If my intention was to write, that was what I did. I realized that this spontaneous kind of girl had lost her spontaneity, and I didn’t like that!

Until this week…

It wasn’t planned, that’s for sure, but since last weekend I’ve been making up for lost spontaneous time. It began with a decision to do more to actively nurture myself. I knew I needed some spiritual and energy boosts. I’ve been tired lately trying to do too much in too little time. It’s kept me hibernating as I try to make my deadlines. And write the posts for this blog! I felt like I was losing part of me in the process and had to change that.

Last week I called the church where Louise Hay got her ministry. It’s not too far from my place and I wanted to know if they carried a book in their bookstore. “By chance,” the head minister answered. Everyone else had stepped out for a minute. He answered my question and then we had a nice chat about how much I’d learned about manifesting from the ministers there.

He mentioned the theme of this months Sunday lessons. It sounded interesting and he asked if I was coming.

Maybe, I said, though I was thinking, I hate to go out on Sunday morning, especially when it’s cold. That’s a day I laze around, catch up on emails, watch news shows and mindless ones on MTV, etc. I thought about it Saturday night and considered how nice it would be to go to the service. Nicer if I could go without having to get dressed and go outside to be there! I still considered it when I woke up Sunday. I decided my reasons for not going were lame. A good spiritual shot of inspiration would be good for me. So at the last minute, I went!

Spontaneously pushing yourself out of a lazy habit or automatic negative response can bring very positive rewards.

The service was wonderful and an extra treat was afterwards, we all got to speak individually to a practitioner. I really enjoyed that, after reveling in all the good energy during the service. People shook hands and greeted each other. Warmth abounded. I got motivated and left with a big smile and gratitude that I had made that spontaneous move.

Hmmmm…. Was the spontaneous kind of girl returning?

On Wednesday I went to a meeting for a committee I volunteer for. I had noon and 3:30 appointments so I was anxious to get back to my writing. But after the meeting, Jan Goldstoff, the publicist with the golden rolodex, asked me to have coffee with her. Though we’d been on the committee together for a year, we’d wanted to get to know each other better.

This wasn’t a good time for me but after hesitating, the newly resurrected spontaneous kind of girl agreed, and it was delightful.

Jan called me the next day just before 5PM to invite me to her ch’i kung class at 6. She raved about the teacher and insisted I’d really enjoy it. I was very tired and it was a miserable day. The weathermen used Nor’Easter in their forecast. The class was downtown. I couldn’t stop yawning. So I said maybe. But I didn’t want to leave my warm, dry apartment. Jan encouraged me. I thought about it. Since I’d vowed to do more to nurture my spirit and energy, I agreed to go, and had to hustle to get dressed, catch a train downtown and make it on time.

Sometimes you have to dig deep into self-love to stimulate your spontaneity.

I enjoyed my hour doing ch’i kung with instructor Paul Bloom. He walked us through gentle movements to relax, detoxify the body and increase energy. Ch’i kung is easy to do yet the benefits are many. I felt more relaxed and a bit more energized than the sleepy girl was when I left home. Jan and Paul were amazed that I’d spontaneously got dressed, jumped on the subway and came to the class with little notice. I left feeling revved that I’d done this to nurture me.

To enjoy life to the fullest, it’s important to be open to spontaneous activities. Otherwise, you can miss out on some of life’s wonderful blessings.

Today I came full circle. My actual first spontaneous move was when I saw a report on the news 2 weeks ago about Spa week in NY. This week many spas have a special price for select treatments. They showed someone getting a Thai massage at Erika Bloom Pilates Plus. I’ve always wanted one and without missing a beat, I called and made an appointment for today, with Brynne Billingsley, who I saw on TV.


Brynne gave me one of the best massages I’ve ever had. I didn’t know exactly what Thai massage was and thought it was just a series of stretching but oh, it’s so much more. Brynne spent a lot of time working my energy lines on my legs, and worked my body from toes to head. Energy points, sore muscles, everything got attention. She’s small but very strong. I like a hard massage and that’s what I got. I could have asked her to go easy but know that the pressure that creates the pain will work its magic in my body after.

I thought about John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Hurts So Good!”

This week I became spontaneously nurturing from love—self-love! I needed to get refreshed and jumped at opportunities to do so. Next time you’re about to turn down an invitation or opportunity that you might benefit from but it’s last minute, think before you turn it down. Spontaneity brings many rewards. Doing things that are fun or nurturing increases smiles.

And smiles stimulate serotonin, which makes you feel good. So try being a bit more spontaneous. Find more reasons to smile. Give yourself some spiritual and energy boosts. Find ways to nurture you. When I was a DoorMat, I nurtured everyone but me. This is a whole other level of MUCH BETTER! Try it. Self-love grows when you give yourself attention. I know, because I used to hate myself and now that’s changed 1000% as I love myself more each day.

There’s nothing more glorious than loving yourself and self-nurturing helps get you there! If you have to be spontaneous to do that, it’s well worth it!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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  • Becky

    Reading this made me feel good. It's so easy to say yes to what's not good for us and to say no to what's good.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04831148211857663252 A Fitness Minute with Pat Anderson

    Great post! Sometimes my best experiences have come from being spontaneous. Who knows, those spontaneous nudges may be little messages for us.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01445486103480238038 Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    I'm glad the post helped you Becky!Thanks Pat! I do believe those nudges are messages.

  • Anonymous

    Very interesting info. I was searching the web and finally I found Your blog. Regards.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01445486103480238038 Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Glad you're finding it helpful!

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