In Sweet Company

 [Spirituality] ” isn’t just about getting into the presence of God, because we’re in that presence all the time. The central question is ‘How can I fashion a life where I actually live in that awareness?'” — Rabbi Laura Geller,  IN SWEET COMPANY: CONVERSATIONS WITH EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN ABOUT LIVING A SPIRITUAL LIFE

Morning cheer is not my usual M.O. — certainly not before my thyroid meds kick in, but there I was, last Friday — my birthday — up with the sun, bustling about the house, preparing to celebrate my birthday. It was a seminal year, and I wanted to do something special that would set the tone for what would come. Though I had no idea what was coming, I was convinced I needed to prepare for it — walk through some new door, align with the stars and my life purpose, prepare for a period of great activity, one of fiery love and resurrection.

I cleaned my house, my person, lit some candles, rang a bell, then — at the exact hour of my birth — I set out to meditate for as long as Spirit moved me. I had no expectations, no agenda, no preoccupation with results. I practiced the meditation techniques I’ve been using for 35 years. I paid attention. I rested in the Silence. When my mind wavered, I simply, gently, without editorial comment from my ego, brought it back to God. When an idea dropped into my head that felt important, I received it. I listened to how I tell my story, revised my draft, expressed my gratitude. At the end of six hours, I made a little lunch, checked my email, and retrieved my voice mails.

Though I am not aware that anything happened to make me “different” or “better,” I feel different and better. I know a little more about what’s coming — or rather what door I need to walk through, what I need to do next to make way for what’s to come.  It was a good day.

I’ve danced in the flames of fiery love for most of my life, learning first that fiery love exists, learning next to watch my step and not fuel the fire, learning now to join forces with the Flame. I will always be tested by the challenges of living in an imperfect world. There is much I still need to learn. But there is a bight new carrot that dangles in front of my face, that urges me forward, a deeper standard of connection and belonging I want to establish and maintain.

Each of us is called to listen to how we tell our own story. Our path to that hearkening is unique just s our story is unique. Some connect via an opening of the heart; some acknowledge an inner call; most  rustle up a consummate act of humility and will to get the job done. There is a beauty, a magnificence, and a mystery to each life that supersedes our  interpretations of what our life is about. Once we reframe the perception of our life in those grander terms, we are divinely led to a juicier piece of the pie than we served up for ourselves. We usher in the resurrection born of fiery love. We move deeper into the flame.

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