Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

I need a 12 step program for ‘long-texting.’

My friend who I like to refer to as ‘Oprah’ (again, names always changed to protect the innocent who hang out with me) recently told me as much.

person-woman-apple-iphoneIt went something along the lines that somehow during work she might not have time to read my novelesque messages.

Really? (protests this writer feigning shock)

Me? A ‘long-texter??’ 

In my defense, I’m not really in a ‘short-texting’ – WASUP GIRLFRIEND?! – Stage of my life.

More like a….

You will not believe what just happened!!
Oh my goodness I need my mother but you will do!!
Is this really what my life has become?!!!!
I think I may soon need medical treatment!!
I am seeking a surrogate parent in my life – will you apply?!!
Please text back to confirm I am not in fact, crazy!!!!
God doesn’t seem to be listening at the moment, can you?!!!!

Time of my life!

I promise I will return to ‘short-texting!’ After all, I have no desire to appear technologically ancient! I aspire to all forms of anti-aging tools and methodology far outside creams and botox.

I will muddle through the last part of this divorce and return to carefree life. ‘Oprah’ will then miss my history lesson texts as they will be replaced by:

“Okay def will!”

“IDK LOL.”

“OMG that’s baddd!”

EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI

Who am I kidding? I am a writer! ‘Short-texts’ are my kryptonite!

Who’s idea was it to drive phone calls to the point of extinction?

Some of us over communicative dinosaurs still need them!

Especially when we aren’t in a – WU GF! – Stage of our lives.

More like a…

“@TEOTD 2M2H CLAB LHM” 

Time of my life  

Hey, ‘Oprah’ short enough? You just helped shave ten technological years off me – feeling younger already!

TMB GF : -)

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)

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