Happy Haven with Brandi-Ann Uyemura

Happy Haven with Brandi-Ann Uyemura

The F-Word That Will Change Your Life

{flickr photo by: reallltype}

To be human means you ache. You hurt for the things you don’t have, the life you never got, the people who betrayed you. Some days seem full of grief, heartbreak and anger. And it’s so easy to stay in this place.

Although you’re never promised a perfect life, you gripe in agony over the things don’t turn out as planned. Perhaps, serious transgressions occurred at one time and you wish desperately for a way to right the wrong. And instead of wading your way through it, you allow anger to slough away the vulnerability and toughen your insides. It can become a daily obsession. “What if this didn’t happen? Why did it have to happen to me?”


This kind of thinking is in no way helpful, productive or beneficial. In fact a lifetime of daily bitterness is a pill that will end up killing the soul, one negative thought at the time.

Nobody wants a life like that. No one deserves it. But how do we transition from victim to victor when we’re enduring so much pain?

This F-word will always do it. Forgiveness.

On *Oprah’s Next Chapter, Olympian Greg Louganis shared his inspirational story about how he went from a troubled childhood, being bullied, abusing drugs, suffering from depression and rape to getting to the other side of victim toward hope, freedom and happiness via forgiveness. In fact, he’s not only forgive them, but thanks them for the gifts they brought.


Here’s my favorite quote from him:

“[A] lot of those experiences were the gems of my life. It also allows me to empathize with people who are in similar situations. If I share my story, if I share who I am, it just kind of opens up that door to let other people know that they’re not alone.”

The truth is, forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s always about us. It’s about allowing ourselves to heal, to move on and to let the experience change us in a positive way. There will always be love and light if we open that door. When we allow ourselves to finally forgive, let go and make peace with a situation that cannot be changed, we give ourselves the freedom to love others and love life again.

*click here to watch the actual video.

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posted November 11, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Just read the story about the person who was abused had a bad childhood ect… He mentions he can identify with others in that same situation. Recently a person I know he had a terrible child hood 2 lovely children he never say as his wife separated from him and he went on the drink. He found him self in a desperate place and self esteem gone. Today he committed suicide… I question why didnt the church try to help more and draw along side him instead of criticizing him. I also get down as well. recently my husband left me to pursue a career as a Pastor and the college and church except this… We only married 3 yrs to people as older people. I left a home friends for him to travel south where he lived working as a lay pastor I had four houses moves in 3 yrs 2 with in eight months and the last one with a break up he also prevented me going north as he wouldn’t sign a grantor he has talked my character down and left me here in the church and the area to face it all. Half the church judge me in a negative way and don’t talk to me.My son of 11yrs is also been effected by this. There where times I feel deep into a dark place saying to my self what is it all about. I have no family support as they all dysfunctional them selves. I have a son who needs me so I stay strong for him… it is difficult and I’m a christian. This young man wasn’t but he saw failure in Christians and the way some treated him give him no hope.

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posted January 5, 2014 at 11:51 pm

Hi Lisa,

It’s my quote. But it was inspired by the quote above by Olympian Greg Louganis. Thanks for checking! And let me know about your book. How exciting!

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posted January 5, 2014 at 11:30 pm

I’d like to ask you if the quote “There will always be love and light if we open that door” is yours or if you used it from someone else? I would love to use this quote inside one of my YA books if possible. I just want to credit the right person.

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