Being fully myself makes me happier. I may not be perfect but I am perfectly me, and this means that I don’t try to please others — I don’t say that I want to do something when I don’t. If someone asks me to see a violent movie, I’ll say no. By saying no to them I am really saying yes to me. The “me” that loves peaceful music, gardening, meditating, writing and creating things whether it is a tree-house or a new game at basketball to get everyone improving their game.
Being Fully Me: Happiness Naturally Happens
Carl Jung said “the privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are” and I know this to be true. Somehow when we are younger we seem to want to please others, and we become “happy” when we’ve gotten good grades, made the soccer team or got the girlfriend (or boyfriend) of our dreams. But this temporary type of happiness comes and goes. Getting to a deeper type of happiness happens only when we go within and really become who we truly are.
I can only speak from my own truth but I will say this: Happiness can only happen when you are being true to you.
When I look at my life and ask, “When am I the happiest?” the answer is easy — it is when I am writing or being with children. Writing is that “flow experience” for me that psychologist and rock climber, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, describes where you get engaged in something that requires skill and you seem to “lose time” or get totally immersed in applying your skill to meet a challenge. (Others who report high flow on a regular basis include surgeons, stock traders, and musicians).
Being with children is the other thing that makes me happy. I realize spending Sunday morning with 27 highly energetic children probably would make most adults feel uncomfortable but me — I was in the zone. This is my gift and by spending time with children, encouraging their dreams, instilling a sense of spirituality and confidence in them I get to use my gift. So using your unique gift makes you happier too!
Be Fully You: Happiness is on the way
Give yourself permission to be fully you. The “You” that is happy when you express your unique gifts and talents. And be good to yourself because discovering your gift(s) is one of the most sacred things you do on planet earth — it is your work here, and I suggest you have fun with it.
By Maureen Healy
Maureen Healy is an emotional health expert with more than 20 years of global experience. Her new book, Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness is available wherever books are sold. More info: www.growinghappykids.com