Fresh Living

Fresh Living


Friends: a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

posted by vreiss

I’m guessing Holly’s moving post on breaking up with a friend will strike a chord. There’s something about betrayal or abandonment in friendship that often feels harsher than that of a lover. Partly because (and pardon if I sound a wee bitter) we almost expect romantic partners to hurt us or be transient; friends are supposed to be for life. But recently one friend helped me see this loss differently when he passed along wisdom from a spiritual teacher: People are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

I love thinking about it that way. A “reason” would cover friends who introduce us to new people, activities, or ways of being and then, poof! are somehow out of our lives. “Season” relationships are around anywhere from a few months to several years or even decades; they get into our hearts and shape who we are, then slide, scrape, scramble, or vanish from our day-to-day. Lifetimers are just that–the ones we know till the very end–the guides, anchors, companions, and beloveds who would only miss being at our deathbed if we made it to theirs first.

The tricky thing, of course, is that we don’t have the completed screenplay–we can’t flip ahead to see if Jane will be there as the credits roll even though she’s been around since elementary school. That’s what makes friendship risky–and precious, not to put too cheesy a point on it. We just don’t know. Yet with the reason/season/lifetime frame, even when someone we thought was a lifer turns out to be a temp, we can see it for what it is–a person who gave us the gift of her or his presence for a time. An appropriate, necessary amount of time that, if all went well at least for a while, changed us, opened our perspective, somehow expanded or even healed our lives. So when we must let them go–whether it’s our choice or not–we can do it with a bit of grace and gratitude. You know?  



  • Annapurna Moffatt

    And then there are the friends who are a combination: my friend Lynn would qualify for both “reason” and “lifetime”: she introduces me to new ways of thinking about and seeing the world, and I swear she was a philosopher in a past life; but we’ve been friends for twelve years and I have a strong feeling that there are many more years to come.

  • Kimberly

    I have seen this saying for some time now. It makes so much sense to me~
    More now than It did when I was younger. As I get older I have been through my share of friendships. Some have turned me bitter for awhile. I Stopped asking why..after all no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. What I mean by that is~ We Allow Everything to happen in our friendships. If there is something that we didn’t feel was right and still went along with it, for example~ People Taking us for Granted etc…We had a right to say hey enough is enough. I have learned a Great Deal as I got older having friends turn into an aquaintances. Once I started setting Boundaries things changed. Its not easy being hurt..I just try and remember that Forgiving is a Good THING..and NOT to FORGET the LESSON.
    Life is pretty simple following the Golden Rule..Treat others the way you want to be treated. Whats so hard about that??????

  • Therese Borchard

    Great post, Val. I’m linking to it on Wednesday with more friendship posts :)

  • Laura

    As mentioned, a reason or even a season, can feel so bittersweet, but thankfulness for time spent and lessons learned from an individual is to be cherished. Thank you for a lovely article.

  • Your Name

    My friend? and I went to kindergarten together. Lately, I thought we could rekindle the friendship. There are some things she does that I find wasteful and useless. I Thanks God for this article. I have cooled the relaltionship and set boundries. One sure way to discard outdated relationships is to begin an oneor more activities they absolutely do not like. I find when this person calls, I am always doing or about to do this activity. Make sure you do what you want to do and don’t let people make you feel guilty for doing it.

  • Jan

    I live by this daily. I’ve even shared it with some that have been a part of my life who’ve gone onto have their dreams come true of becoming famous. I’ve insisted that they remember who has been there for them and where they came/come from. I may get eyes rolled at me but what this group of words say is forever written on my heart. I find that I care wayyyyyyyyyyy too much about others and it’s not always understood but hopefully in time it will be: whether I’m still alive or passed on. People are important to me and will always be.

  • Rayna Stark

    Speaking of lessons learned, I urge everyrone reading this that if they cherish a special friend in their lives, let them know today! And if you are not speaking because of a stupid fight, or trying to hold out till the other “makes up” with you, or apologizes, or changes his ways just because you feel slighted, or any other trivial reason, STOP IT! Just think – should something horrible happen and my friend doesn’t make it, will I be able to forgive myself for not being there for him? This happened to me – the best friend, confidant I ever had in my life died from a very aggressive form of cancer at 51 years of age and I found out about it by reading his obit in the paper! I hadn’t even known he was ill! All because we had a stupid, stupid fight. The last time I saw him I turned him away from my door, and then I sent him 2 nasty emails, just to make sure he got the message! Nice-huh? It’s been two years since he died, and I still can’t forgive myself and I miss him so much it’s unbearable sometimes. I’m going to go pot to visit his gravesite now. I just feel a need to be close to him. This person knew me better than anyone ever has in my entire life. I always saw us growing old together, and sitting on my front porch in rocking chairs, talking about all the same things we always talked about. And laughing! Sometimes I go out on that porch and I feel him there. I can only hope that one day we will be reunited. I hope that he forgave me at the end, but if he had, wouldn’t he have sent for me? I will never know. Has this happened to anyone here and how did you deal with it?

  • Sue

    I recently lost a wonderful, dear friend because of some stupid comments I made. I miss him very much and have apologized for what I have said. We have been friends for 2 years and he has helped me through some rough times and given me emcouragement. I can only hope that in time he will forgive me.

  • Shari

    Rayna Stark, this is for you. I believe that when you feel your friend on the porch with you…that he truly is there. You should talk to him there and tell him how you feel, if you haven’t already, and trust that he has heard you and forgiven you. He has. And, know that the reason that you are still here is that you have some unfinished business of your own. You are here for a different purpose than he was…so rather than dwelling on past mistakes…we should learn from them, and then move forward to find the next lesson, or help the next person, or create the next creation. We have a job here on earth and while we don’t know exactly what it is, if we follow our hearts we know we will find whatever is next. Take comfort in that, and God Bless You!

  • Your Name

    My best friend has been my best friend for 15 yrs. She is Roman Catholic and I am Baptist. We get into biblical discussions and some times we just agree to disagree. I can tell her anything and be sure that what I say will go no further and she can do the same with me. I would take a bullet for her and she would for me. True friendship is much like a marriage, a 100% – 100% deal. You give all that you can give and she/he gives it all that they can. I can honestly say that in our fifteen years, we have never had a disagreement that caused us to stop communication with each other. We are closer than most sisters. We look alike and most people think that we are sisters. I thank God every day for her. I can not even visualize us saying Goodbye to each other or ending our friendship. I have been truly blessed and pray that everyone can have a friendship like ours.

  • Victoria Styles

    When I was 18 years old, I was a new mother. I was a single Mom living with my parents. The Christmas season started shortly after my son’s birth. I was a prideful thing back then.
    My oldest brother was flat broke and refused to come over to our parents; house for Xmas because he had no gifts for anyone. I was angry that he would be so prideful and I refused to go with my parents to his house after Xmas to give him some kind of holiday. I had all kinds of “reasons” why I shouldn’t go but it all boiled to to being angry with him.
    Fifteen days later, my brother George was dead at the age of 29, victim of his own hand on a shotgun.
    It’s been 26 years since my brother committed suicide and I miss him still. I will always regret not letting him know at the end that I loved him more than I was angry.
    The lesson I learned so bitterly is to never let the people you love doubt it. Tell them how speical they are and never let them forget. It’s a nasty pill when someone who should have been a lifetime friend turns out to be for only a season.
    I hope you wil tell your friends and family that you love and cherish them and what they add to your life without having to learn its importance the way I did. It’s too late for my brother but I carry the lessonw ith me and tell my friends and family how much I love them as often as I can. Do you?

  • renee walston

    I am still grieving the loss of about four friends over the last years. Right now, I don’t have a close friend to my name and I feel a little hurt and disconnected. I really seem to reach out to a few gals from time to time, just to be sweetly rejected….at least they don’t seem to pickk up the ball when it’s in their court.
    What’s this about and how do we make friends in our 60’s?
    Thanks,
    rw

  • karen

    I agree that sometimes friends (more so an acquaintance) are for a time, for a season, however, if truly it were a friendship and not just an acquaintance, the friendship will always be there not matter what. I know that I have friends that live states away, but when we talk, it is like we never missed a beat because there is a love relationship that exist not just a superficial relationship which I would call just an acquaintance.
    The Word of God has given a principal for the church to follow as well as the world dealing with “FRIENDSHIP” — that is- how we act if love truly is involved. In 1 Corinthians 12 & 13, Paul was speaking to a community of believers about the value of each member and how to treat each person.
    When we speak about true friendship, the greatest gift of all (LOVE) is or should be involved or else how can there be a friendship?
    This love was being taught to the church of Corinth, not just to couples who were being married. I believe that if this kind of love would truly be the center of any relationship, then “friendships” among one another (also married couple needs to be best friends, because best friends share everything) most likely would never cease (except through death).
    Friendship goes beyond us because it involves others- otherwise, there would be NO FRIENDSHIP. We need to remember that love involves self-sacrificing (which many will not tolerate because it is not about them). As yourself, with your friendships, have you been patient?kind?not jealous?not boastful?not prideful?not rude? not selfish?not irritable or touchy? not keeping track of wrongs done nor finding satisfaction in the shortcomings of others and then spreading an evil report(gossip) about your friend.
    If we would defend our friends and hold them up and believe the good things about them and aggressively speak good about them and not evil, and hold them up and believe the best about them, never giving up on them but affirming their future and them, our friendships would begin to grow stronger and last until the end of time. We are told that love hopes all things, and doesn’t give up on people. Love endures all things which cause us to push on and remain loyal to the end. I pray that friends will be open to the wisdom of God when there is a struggle in their friendship adn follow the principal set before them. May the Lord God Almighty bless you.

  • Lois

    This is for Renee. I am also in my 60’s…well, I will be 70 in a fes weeks. I also don’t have any real, deep, forever friends. I have many “of the moment”, “Of the place” and “Of the situation”. I know if i change my place, moment or situation, I wouldn’t see these casual “friends” again. I’ve made it a poiint to draw closer to my family. They are scattered all over the country, so it is more asn e-mail and phone thing wiht occassional visits. I think it is MUCH harder to make friends as we grow older. So many friends are made through raising our children, being part of a couple or livig in one’s home town. I live alone in a town I chole…coming here alone with no friends and no husband as a partner to make friends. I live a very busy life (i.e., feels like busy work sometimes ;^). I fight loneliness frequently, but have made my peace with it for the most part. I’ve also accepted that my age is part of the equation. I have old friends from grade school and HS, but find we have little in common, though we touch base from time to time. I’ve tried to find the Gayle to my Oprah many times, but it never worked out for me. I wish you and I, Renee, could be friends.

  • Donna Dean

    This is for Renee and Lois … I too am older (71) and was laid off a month ago from a nursing job that I had for over 10 years. I am lonely and grieving the loss of what I thought were friends … but guess they were just situational friends. Likewise I have attempted to continue the friendships, but we now have nothing in common. I long for the days of significant intelligent conversations and laughs. My husband is 82,had several strokes,is hard of hearing and offers no conversation. I would love to be somebody’s friend … where do older folks find new friends? Is there some way Beliefnet could start a friends category for folks like us?

  • Victoria D

    At 52 years young, and whose husband is her BFF,but travels sometimes 11 months at a time for business, I can relate.
    I needed to break out of my shell and make new friends as the old ones went by the wayside for their various reasons never explained to me. And after extending the hand of friendship back to them after numerous times and getting nothing back in return I realized that it wasn’t me but the hurt was extremely painful, yes worse than breaking up with a lover.
    My husband suggested I join one of the many groups on http://www.meetup.com. The groups are area specific for you and range by your interests, age, religion, race etc…I did and have meet many new friends, some have the potential to be long lasting and others the casual kind. These friends range also from the ages 23 to 70 years young. I personally enjoy having friends of different ages because each has something unique to give and enhance a friendship. I only hope I return the favor for them. Sometimes I meet a person from one meetup at another and it creates a new scenario for that friendship. I have joined book, film, wine tasting, and social groups for everyone and also those for women only and woman over age 35+. It has opened a whole new world of experiences and potential friendships.
    See if this works for you, I have been extremely happy with the results.
    Good Luck and God Speed in making new friendships everyone!

  • Mary

    It’s amazing that so many of us have made it to the third stage of our lives (I’m 59), with no friends. I am a divorcee after a long marriage and wonder if God has any future plans for me. I am so lonely. It’s difficult to keep moving.

  • Carla

    Renee, Lois, Donna and Mary. . .I have never posted comments before, but I found each of yours hit so close to home. My mom is in her early 60’s, single and voices her frustration of being so incredibly lonely. I feel so badly for her and with my job and single parenting, find I hardly have time for my obligations, and yet feel I am cheating her of time as well. Would love to connect you three with her! I just said a prayer for all of you. . .I know God will lay his hands on each of you and in His way, give you all a new sense of “being”. You never know who He may place in your path on any given day, hour or moment.

  • Sydney Betts

    I am only twenty two years old and have made some very hard times for myself in terms of friends. I have many struggles in my life that conflict in my relationships with friends and boyfrends. The posting is something that I am truly learning and coincidentaly is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately! It is very inspirational at a very hard time…. I thank you Valerie for writing this I needed it today!Thank You!

  • Your Name

    I have found that friends come in three types. One type is solely for social reasons. They will be with you while they are still looking for things to do. The second type of friend is there for your learning or theirs, or both. The third type and the most rare, is the one who completes you, knows your every thought, and loves you as they love themselves..that’s the friend that is a soul who shares two bodies. I believe we should love and appreciate them all!

  • Liz

    I want to share a little of my life.
    I turned 70 in Jan. and retired four years ago. It was an ajustment
    after a year of relaxing and getting to know myself I ask the Lord
    to guide me on what I was to do with the rest of my life.
    He guided me to a great church that I got involved with and joined
    various womens group and bible studies. I am so busy and have met
    so many wonderful people, also in the same situation. I am learning
    to play bridge and having fun with that.
    So get out there and get involved you have a brand new life waiting for you.
    Hugs,
    Liz

  • Your Name

    I just ended a long friendship for betraying me. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. I’ve been sick for several months now, I must say I miss her but I guess it’s pride that won’t allow me to reach out.

  • Mary

    I truly understand what you women are going through,I’m divorced and have been diagnosed with Parkinson Disease and been living with it for 14 years.I’m lonely also because no one wants to be with me.I have my pitty parties every now and then but I know who’s keeping me and that’s what keeps me going.I just recently move in with my sister and her family and I still stay gone most of the time,you could say i don’t let any grass grow up under my feet.Everyone that comes into my life ends up hurting me and again I’m left alone.I’m learning to lean and depend on God for everything.

  • Nancy

    I had a very, very close friendship with a lovely woman for over five years. We went places every week-end and talked every day. We shared a lifetime of secrets and were closer than our natural born sisters. That is until she met a man (on an internet dating site) The minute they got together it was all about him – spending 24/7 with him. Just that fast she excluded me and other girlfriends from her life. I’m happy for her new love but hope it doesn’t come back to bite her for excluding the others in her life if the romance doesn’t last.

  • Your Name

    Dear Mary, My heart goes out to you. They couldn’t have been very good friends. I have commented on her before but I just had to write again. You may recall my first comment, I was the one who mentioned that my best friend and I have been best friends for 15 yrs. My friend was diagnosed with Parkinson’t 5 yrs. ago. Her disease is progressing more rapidly than her doctor has ever seen. I feel that I am priveleged to be a part of my friends’ life. She inspires me every day of my life because she never gives up. I had planned to move out of state to be closer to my family until she got pneumonia. While we were in the emergency room, she started to cry. When I asked her what was wrong, for the first time, she told me that she didn’t want me to leave her. My mind was made up, right then, and I am not going to leave her. She would do the same thing for me. I would like to be your friend and I am sure that my friend would be one too. Remember, we have a friend who is closer than a brother/sister. His name is Jesus Christ and He loves you!!
    God Bless and Keep You,
    Merriel

  • Susie Q

    I know what it is like to have these so called friends. I have a very good friend thaqt wishes that I would move closer to her. I can’t because of the expense. We have been friends for over 30 years and she consoled me when my husband died at the age of 49 (too young) and now with my cancer and chemo she calls all the time.
    Then I have so called friends who live nearby and not as much as a visit or a call everuy now and then.
    I can only count on the good Lord to help me in my time of lonliness, depression and health issues.

  • Denise McKenzie

    Right now I am at a crossroads in my life. My husband and I separated last year and this year, 2009, I am getting a divorce. I am living with a friend and her 2 children and I thought we had things in common, but guess what? We do not. We think differently with just about everything. I also have other friends, some I have known for over 10 years, but feel it is time for me to move on from some of them as well. I think only 2 of them will be “lifers” and the rest of them will just fade away, but you know what I’m ready. At this time in my life, I am ready to go with God and be happy!

  • Rosa

    Unto everything there is a season.

  • Kim

    I just heard this saying (Frineds; a reason, a season, a lifetime). I was told there was a whold page explaing the saying. The person who told me about it said it was handed out at a wake and was also given to her when she went through a rough time and was in rehab. Does ADNYONE KNOW HOW TO FIND THE WHOLE THING? you can e-mail or point me in the right direction via this blog.
    So freaky that I am “cleaning house” and letting go of friends who are not helping me stay on the path I have chosen. I was so afraid of having no frineds by the time I got done but the Universe (God) has provided me with 3 friends I haven’t spoken to in months to years in just the last week. I am no longer afraid of being friendless or lonely. Removing the negative just makes room for the positive.
    Thanks,
    Kim

  • Cheryl

    It seems that most all of my friends are the reason or season kind. I just lost the closest to a lifetime friend I ever had (she passed away). I suppose God has his purpose for my lifetime of reason and season friends. “They” have been telling me that when he closes one door he opens another. So true. Just so happens that my old high school best friend contacted me after us not speaking for over 20 years! I’m hopeful that we can start something new. I don’t make friends easily and there’s a huge void in my life where my friend, Faith once was. Reason, season, lifetime….something to ponder.

  • mag

    After 25 yrs I was able to get back in touch with a old friend. I was so happy because he was a angel that didn’t know while I was in jr.high and my high school yrs. I have gone threw beening molested and living a very hard life time but God put him in my life. I prayed to God to find him again and he did. He is happily married and I always prayed for him to find happiness so I know God answered my prayers. So yes, there is always a reason, a season and a lifetime for everything from God. We got back in touch by email and we have talked on the phone so supposely soon we will get together in person but all in do time…

  • http://n/a bobolu

    There are seasons for us all,But they are different to us all,,What we see is not the same,,And what we do is for our better…Winter spring summer or fall,,There is beauty in them all..As there is beauty in all of us.Seasons of the heart,These shall not depart,Like golden thoughts
    and memories they keep us warm…

  • karen clark

    Kim, you can go to learningplacesonline.com for the whole page.A FRIEND OF MINE PASSED A FEW YEARS BACK AND IT WAS ON HER EULOGY THE 1ST TIME I EVER HEARD IT.

  • Your Name

    I came to live to this country a decade ago. My best friend was my sister, there wasn’t anyone I got along better with. However, my sister passed away unexpectedly, and I was left deeply sad and empty. Nevertheless, a classmate in elementary school (whom I didn’t hang out with) called me out of the blue and since that first called we clicked. We have been developing our friendship on the phone to a point that we are planning a trip together. We barely remember each other physically and we hardly recogbnize each other in our current pictures, almost 40 years have gone by. We have very similar background, same culture and mentality, similar beliefs, same sense of humor, similar way of expressing ourselves, etc. It is incredible. I hope this is God’s present for me and this friendship is forever.

  • Cheryl in OKC

    This is how I received “reason, season, or a lifetime. I hope it will help someone as it has helped me.
    People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they will die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

  • Sara

    My marriage has not been the best and because of it I went through many years of thinking I was to blame for all the problems (my husband is an alcoholic) and I had very low self esteem. Six years ago an old high school friend found me on one of those websites and we started writing and then got together after not seeing each other for 35 years. He made me relize that I was a wonderful, caring, attractive person and not to blame for the many years of heartache and abuse and I finnaly was able to get the help I needed. To this day I still don’t think he knows what he did, but I beleive he came into my life for a reason and am forever grateful to him. We are still very close friends and he will always be in my heart.

  • Your Name

    I believe someone may be trying to make me compare my blog here on this site where I talk of my sprituality and my way to find it with frienship and a help to those of you who have read it…and those of you who have found any comfort in the words I have written…If anyone ever finds any comfort in anything I have to say..I would find that gratifiting however…I am not friends with you ..as he is not my friend..he would be considered someone quite different than a friend, something I would not be able to explain. I don’t say or write anything …represent myself as anything other than what I am..exprecially spriritually.., however, I am not a drop to my knees Jesus, loving Christian. I have had recent very serious transgressions and things that I am not happy with about myself but I am not going to spend my life worried about them…I am happy with myself. I am proud of myself as a woman. I am a good woman. I do have significant things to say. I am not afraid of him, or anyone. I wish anyone who reads this peace and love in their world, and only that, nothing more.

  • http://theresecasts@yahoo.com theresecasts@yahoo.com

    I HAVE BEEN SO BETRAYED AND DISAPPOINTED BY FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND CHURCH, I NO LONGER BELIEVE THESE CONCEPTS EXIST. NO GOD, NO SUCH THING AS FRIENDSHIP OR FAMILY AND CERTAINLY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE. ONCE I BELIEVED PEOPLE WERE INHERENTLY GOOD, NOW I BELIEVE THEY ARE INHERENTLY EVIL.

  • Your Name

    I met a friend five years ago.I know he was God sent.Yet i couldn’t see clearly just what a gift god had sent me because of a broken heart,lost motherly pride,betrayal,and trust had vanished.My heart ALWAYS said to trust my heaven sent friend.yet the many trials i was induring, left me afraid to trust in thought!My friend touched my soul from the very moment he walked up to my door.The contentment of just hearing every word he spoke and anxiously awaiting the next.How i know he is a LIFETIME friend is with just a thought of him makes my heart smile. The hardest part is my friend is with another now, and i cannot disrespect that! Yes im left with a broken heart.Yet truely believe God brought my friend into my life for a REASON,and the SEASONS in this life will be brighter with just the thought of him. the LIFETIME of my friend is the happiness he brought into my life, and forever my gift from up above,will be wrapped and forever in his very own special place in my HEART!!

  • Your Name

    I have had a few people that came into my life when I was going through a very hard time. I felt at the time we where going to be friends forever. I am a giver not a taker. In the course of the friendship all of a sudden they left my life with no explanation. I see them at times but never any explanations as to why they don’t call or anything. My life was better with them in it then. But now since they don’t call or talk I have come to the conclusion I am better off. As you said some people are in your life forever, some for a reason. It is very hard to know what people are. Only time will tell.

  • Your Name

    Yes I agree time will tell for our book is already written as the pages turn from day to day God knows are true hearts and will guide us threw our novel in life, for he has written it!Best wishes of great friendships to YOU!

  • Reed

    Friends…mark the process of your life. Know that as one moves through the meandering path that God leads you through and gives options to you. Look past yourself at these moments of loss and see the greater picture for you and your friends. Open yourself again regardless of the hurt and see yourself as the power behind your life. God gives you opportunities…many times again and again to understand what He wants for you…but it is our decision that dictates our lives which has a spiral affect today and tommorrow within the direction we choose to take. But God is always there, waiting patiently for you to “see” what is in your “sight” and help move you. Just believe for the day. Stay focused on you, and walk with Grace toward tomorrow.

  • Your Name

    I agree their would be no process to mark in life without friends.God gives us options with his loving grace.Just as every friend comes into our lives also threw him. We want so much to see the greater picture God has in store for us with every bit of are hearts. Yet we let past heartaches and fears keep us from opening up once again.Feelings run so deep we cannot put words to them and there is where it starts with are choices.If for one day we could see threw Gods loving eyes what he has in sight for us, oh how much easier it would be to concore the power behind our lives. God knows are hearts and so long as we keep BELIEVING we will always have the gift of friends!

  • Maria no respect

    Please help me.
    I’m a giver and don’t expect anything back only some appreciation and respect. I feel very hurt when I don’t get respect from family members.
    I feel very angry when others don’t listen to me yet It great when I listen to them. I often get no reasoning with these people and I feel that they are always right.

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  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Carleen

    I was friends for almost 20 years yet she unfriended me on her pursuit of finding a man. So women can be so obsessive to get a husband that they jeopardize their female friends in that pursuit. I still grieve her friendship yet know that it was not a healthy relationship and she was mean to me and I have learned that I am a valuable and loyal friend and deserve the same in return.

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Fare Well, Live Fresh...and Thanks
This is the post in which we say goodbye.  We're both leaving our respective jobs at Beliefnet, and so it's time to step away from the blog.So, this is the post in which we say goodbye...by saying thank you.  Thank you to you, the readers, for clicking and visiting and sharing the myriad w

posted 12:00:45pm Jul. 02, 2010 | read full post »

Waking Up to Your Dreams (by Wendy Schuman)
Are you a frustrated dreamer? I know I am. I often wake up with fragments of scenes echoing in my mind that seem really meaningful--but then I leap out of bed, start my morning routine, and in seconds they're gone. I want to linger in that realm and tap into the guidance and insight rising from a wi

posted 2:21:32pm Jun. 24, 2010 | read full post »

Prayer for the Gulf from the 13 Grandmothers
Because I lack an engineering degree and don't understand why we can't just stop this thing NOW with a 10-ton wad of gum or giant boulder or massive Q-tip, I'll share more spiritual wisdom from elders. This is from the beautiful, amazing International Council of 13 Indigenous Grandmothers--they each

posted 10:52:38am Jun. 21, 2010 | read full post »

Fresh Morning: Worry Away the Worry
"Worry is a prayer for something you don't want." - Sharon Gannon I love that. The other day someone expressed concern about my excessive worrying habit, and I've been contemplating on it ever since. Doing my best to actually contemplate, rather than worry. I've been on a renewed Gilmore G

posted 9:14:40am Jun. 21, 2010 | read full post »

How Did You (or a Loved One) Heal from Cancer?
In addition to co-writing this blog and working at Beliefnet full-time, I'm writing a book. It's about how I got through cancer five years ago with a combination of heavy-duty Western meds and all I knew from my personal and journalistic experience of yoga, meditation, non-religious spirituality, an

posted 3:08:46pm Jun. 18, 2010 | read full post »




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