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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together Archives

5 Important Points When Dealing With a High Conflict Person

posted by Linda Mintle

We all have that person in our lives that drives us crazy and personalizes conflict, making it difficult to handle. Here are five points to keep in mind when dealing with a high conflict person. Choose your battles. Since most […]

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10 Tips to Calm Anger in a Heated Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

One of the keys to resolving conflict is to keep anger in control, to stay calm and not allow anger to overtake you. Here are 10 tips to help that process: Use humor to break the tension. Nothing lightens the […]

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The Mismatch of Conflict Styles: How to Handle It

posted by Linda Mintle

                If you’ve taken the FREE quiz on my website, drlindahelps.com, you know your conflict style–avoider, reactor or negotiator. Now the issue is, does your style match with those with whom you are […]

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Hurt By a Conflict? How Do You ReBuild Trust?

posted by Linda Mintle

You’ve heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you […]

Making Family Change: How Are You Doing?

posted by Linda Mintle

We are one week in to our New Year Resolutions. If you made family resolutions, it is time to evaluate how you are doing. For those of you losing steam, don’t give up on those areas of family life you […]

10 Ways to Respond to Family Betrayal

posted by Linda Mintle

Forgive and love generously. Remember, as you choose to forgive, bless and do good, this does not mean you condone negative behavior, are minimizing hurt or denying problems. It means you have decided to follow the words of Christ and […]

Do You Help Your Teen Too Much? Answer These 5 Questions

posted by Linda Mintle

Julie was handed her biology test in class. While she studied for the test, the material was difficult. When she saw the red C at the top of the exam, she began to cry. Racked with anxiety, she couldn’t believe […]

If You Want a Child Who Sticks To It, Look at Dad!

posted by Linda Mintle

If you want a persistent child, dads are key. Persistent is a trait most parents want to see developed in their children. When the assignment is difficult, we want  our kids to persist in their studies and do well. When […]

5 Coaching Tips to Improve Adult Mother-Daughter Relations

posted by Linda Mintle

Mandy was at the end of her rope with her mom when she called me for coaching. Every conversation ended with frustration. Why couldn’t the two of them get along better? Why did her mom constantly criticize her and tell […]

Happy Mother’s Day: Giving Back to Mom

posted by Linda Mintle

Even though my mom is no longer with me, I will miss her this Mother’s Day! This is a picture of us celebrating years ago. And while my mother-daughter relationship was not perfect, there was so much she gave me […]

Five Tips to Help Your Child Adjust to a Stepparent

posted by Linda Mintle

Terry slouched on my therapy couch and mumbled, “My mom has a new husband. She wants me to be nice to him, but I don’t feel like being nice. I’m sick and tired of not seeing my dad. I don’t […]

10 Ways to Love That Difficult Family Member

posted by Linda Mintle

This season of love, take a look at your family relationships. Forgive and love generously. Remember, as you choose to forgive, bless and do good, this does not mean you condone negative behavior, are minimizing hurt or denying problems. It […]

Help to Deal With Difficult Family Members During the Holidays

posted by Linda Mintle

Today’s blog is a 30 minute radio show I did on dealing with difficult family members during the holidays. We all have that obnoxious uncle, cranky grandparent or out of control cousin. How do you deal with these people in […]

10 Ways to Worsen Relationship Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

 Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only […]

6 Ways to Respond to a Mother-In-Law Who Doesn’t Like You?

posted by Linda Mintle

When Robert came home from work, he found his wife sitting in a chair crying. She was hurt by something that happened on the phone talking to her mother-in-law about holiday plans. Robert’s mother insisted they come to her house […]

Getting the “High” Out of Higher Education

posted by Linda Mintle

I love watching college football. You all know Michigan is my team! But what I don’t love is watching the number of college kids getting totally trashed at games. It’s like a right of passage that doesn’t end well. An […]

An Easy Brain Boost for Kids

posted by Linda Mintle

“Please, can I just stay up a little longer?” “Mom, I need a drink. Can you read to me? How about a snack?” We’ve all heard our children’s pleas to stay up longer at night. They beg, distract, tell is […]

Does Yelling at Your Teen Work?

posted by Linda Mintle

We’ve all done it. Many of us grew up with it. But should we? Your teen walks in 30 minutes past curfew. You’ve been worried sick and have worked yourself up. The minute she comes through the door, you yell, […]

Is Your Child/Teen Becoming Screen Sighted?

posted by Linda Mintle

I was riding on the airport tram the other day, when I noticed a mom with a two and four-year old. Both had smart phones in their hands and were completely unaware of what was going on around them. They […]

Guest Blog: My Biggest Critic: Navigating the Adult Daughter-Mom Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

Trying to figure out how to have that healthy relationship with your mom? You are not alone. Take a look at TODAY contributor, Julie Halpert’s blog for insight into what works when it comes to moms and conflict. Click here. […]

Addicted to Work? Take the Short Quiz

posted by Linda Mintle

If you work to avoid negative emotional states such as anxiety and depression, perhaps work has taken on an addictive quality. In a state of frustration, Rachel recounted her life. “It’s like I married my alcoholic father. Not a day […]

Can Peer Pressure Be a Good Thing? 8 Parenting Tips

posted by Linda Mintle

Peer pressure sounds like a negative thing because we usually think of it as something to resist. But the teenage brain loves social acceptance more than the adult brain. In fact, teens get great pleasure from being liked by other people. […]

Why and How Parents Should Stop Sibling Bullying

posted by Linda Mintle

With all the talk about bullying and its damaging effects on kids, we don’t often hear much about sibling bullying. Isn’t it normal for little Billy to push around his brother Joey? Sibling bully, it turns out, is just as […]

Are You OK With Your Kid’s Use of Media?

posted by Linda Mintle

I’d love to hear from you on this question! According to a survey conducted by Northwestern researchers, most parents answered, YES! Despite the number of hours spent with TV, tablets, cell phones, computers and other devices, only 30% of the […]

One Sure Fire Way to Help Your Kids Deal With Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Brian isn’t doing too well with his parents’ divorce. Lately he’s showing more aggressive behavior. His divorced parents, Sam and Sue, are concerned about his behavior and seek help. The therapist tells them that their unresolved conflict is causing Brian […]

10 Reasons Fathers Are Important

posted by Linda Mintle

June 14  is Flag day–not a day most people think to remember, but I do. It was the day we buried my oldest brother who was killed by a bomb on an airplane. He was an army officer and father […]

Do You Get Along with Your Mother-In-Law? 5 Tips to Help

posted by Linda Mintle

In a few weeks, I will become the mother-in-law. For years, I have helped people in therapy deal with their  in-laws. In-laws can easily become out-laws in families. In fact, researcher, Sylvia Mikucki-Enyart at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point polled […]

10 Ways to Rebuild Relationship Trust

posted by Linda Mintle

IRS scandals, reports of infidelity, misuse of funds, friendship betrayals….they all involve a loss of trust. Trust is foundational to any relationship. It is about having confidence in someone or something, relying on someone and believing what he or she […]

10 Tips for Vacation Planning for Children of Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Summer and holidays can be a time of challenge for children of divorce. It may be unsettling for a child to vacation with a non-custodial parent. From the child’s point of view, he/she will be in strange places, with strange […]

Happy Mother’s Day: Building Intimate Connections

posted by Linda Mintle

This weekend lots of flowers and cards will be sent to moms who raise daughters and sons. Usually this weekend causes us to reflect on our mother-daughter relationship. It doesn’t seem to matter if our relationship is great, terrible or […]

The New Normal? Children Born Outside of Marriage

posted by Linda Mintle

More children are now being born outside of marriage, according to a new study by the National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values. Click on the photo to watch this short interview to learn how this impacts children.

Negotiating Holidays With Divorced Parents

posted by Linda Mintle

Jennifer wonders if it possible to satisfy everyone’s expectations for the holidays? She and her husband Sam both have divorced parents. This means four sets of parents want to see their grandkids for Christmas. And to complicate things, they all […]

10 Tips to Deal With Difficult Family Members During the Holidays

posted by Linda Mintle

1. Anticipate your reactions. Because of past experience with those difficult family members, you know what to expect. So, anticipate how you will react ahead of time. Think it through. Imagine a scenario and how you will respond. This anticipation […]

Is It Ever OK to Lie?

posted by Linda Mintle

A few years ago, Connecticut’s Attorney General and US Senate candidate, Richard Blumenthal, was caught lying about his service in Viet Nam. According to reports, this wasn’t the first time he misspoke and allowed the myth of his wartime service […]

Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

If I asked you today, how you feel about your mom, would you be conflicted? Does that question raise anxiety in you, or make you feel upset, or do you just want to avoid the answer? The powerful mother-daughter bond […]

How To Get Out of a Relationship Triangle

posted by Linda Mintle

  Reader Question: I am in the middle of a big argument with my mom and sister. The issue is between me and my mom but my sister sides with mom and the two of them gang up on me. I […]

3 Needed Tips for Dealing With Family Stress

posted by Linda Mintle

Reader Question:  When mom and dad are so stressed from kids and work, what kind of strain does that put on marriages? And what about temptation? Stress either pushes you closer together as a couple or moves you father apart. […]

Is the Digital World Damaging Your Family Relationships?

posted by Linda Mintle

The technology invasion has happened. Too often we hear how social media and other media have taken us captive and ruined our relationships and lives. Teens texting at the dinner table, kids obsessed with gaming and never giving an adult […]

6 Tips to Stop Over Scheduling Your Kids

posted by Linda Mintle

During a national TV interview, I was asked to give six tips to help families stop over scheduling their children. Here they are: 1. MOST PARENTS WANT THE BEST FOR THEIR KIDS, BUT ARE THEY LOSING SIGHT OF WHAT’S REALLY […]

Answering Parent Medical Concerns Regarding Tattoos and Piercing

posted by Linda Mintle

With so many teens wanting tattoos and piercings, many parents have asked about medical issues involved. Medical concerns should factor in to any decision. In this blog, I am not dealing with should a teen tattoo or pierce. That is […]

One Change That Could Change Your Family

posted by Linda Mintle

What if I told you there was one family change you could make that would bring a host of positive benefits? Would you do it? Well get ready. Here it is: Next time you click through the television channels, find […]

Can You Change Your Mom?

posted by Linda Mintle

A willingness to change helps in every relationship. We aren’t perfect and all bring some emotional baggage to our relationships. Perhaps you and your mother are locked in a situation now where a change is needed, but it seems too […]

How Do I Love My Gay Son?

posted by Linda Mintle

Q: Dr. Linda, my son recently told me (his dad) that he is gay. I am having the most difficult time because of my Christian faith. It bothers me to think of him with other men. How do I deal […]

Prevent Child Depression: Treat Mom or Dad

posted by Linda Mintle

It is a sober statistic–one in eight women can expect to develop depression at some point in her life. One of those risk times is during the childbearing years. And when mom is depressed, it impacts the kids. In fact, […]

Mothers and Daughters: Adjusting Expectations for a Good Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

When I was writing the book, I Love my Mother But…, women would ask me what I was writing about. When I told them it was a book about mothers and daughters, immediately they said, “Oh, you should interview me.  […]

Protecting Children From Abuse: A Fiction Story to Read

posted by Linda Mintle

I just finished reading Donna Van Liere’s book, THE GOOD DREAM. This piece of fiction tells the story of a young woman growing up in the south during the 1950s who encounters  a child who has been abused most of […]

Try A Technology Cleanse

posted by Linda Mintle

You are at dinner in a nice restaurant with your wife and you find yourself checking your email before the salad arrives. Or your family sits down to eat and people are looking at screens rather than each other.Or maybe […]

Main Reason Teens Abstain from Sex

posted by Linda Mintle

Mandy is a typical teen, but has decided abstinence is the way to go. Why? Because she believes that having sex before marriage is morally wrong. She learned that in her youth group at church. Religion made a difference in […]

You Can’t Change Him, But You Can Change You!

posted by Linda Mintle

  One of the biggest problems in our relationships is that so many of us believe we can change another person. Truth is, we can’t. But we can change our reaction to that person and then the relationship changes.This lie, […]

Web Exclusive: I Love My Mother But..

posted by Linda Mintle

Dr. Linda Mintle sat down with Canadian TV host, Moira Brown, from 100 Huntley Street and discussed one of her recent books, I Love My Mother But…The interview is  a little over 14 minutes long but is a great recap […]

How To Respond to Unfair Accusations

posted by Linda Mintle

My devotional reading this morning was quite challenging. It talked about responding to someone who accuses you. When a false accusation comes your way, the natural response is to lash out, come back with a real zinger, and put that […]

Huge Benefits to Having Family Meals

posted by Linda Mintle

This week I did an interview for Telemundo Miami on the importance of family meals. The benefits from sitting down to meals as a family are so compelling that I hope  you think about making this a reality. Family meals […]

The Positive Side to Gaming

posted by Linda Mintle

Most of you know I am not a fan of children, teens and young adults spending long hours a day playing video games –especially the violent and sexually exploitative ones. We know from studies that playing violent video games changes […]

Anger Expression: Helpful or Hurtful in Relationships?

posted by Linda Mintle

Back in the 80s, marital therapists used to give angry couples nerf-like bats and tell them to go at each other. We also used to advise angry teens to hit their pillows or even purchase a punching bag and wail […]

Are You Creating a Delinquent Teen?

posted by Linda Mintle

“Do what I say or else?” Does this authoritarian parenting style work to curb delinquent behavior in teens? How do you establish authority over a teenager? What does it take to say something with conviction, mean it and have your […]

Family Over Politics: A Reminder of What is Important

posted by Linda Mintle

I met Rick Santorum a year ago when he was considering a run for the Presidency. We were both waiting on a meeting in DC. After my introduction, he took a phone call for a radio interview. I listened and […]

The Duggar’s Miscarriage: A Model of Grieving

posted by Linda Mintle

For those of you who may not know who the Duggars are, they are the family who currently has 19 children, all by natural birth, and have their own reality TV show on TLC, 19 Kids and Counting. Recently, the […]

A Thanksgiving Exercise for Your Family

posted by Linda Mintle

If you have children, you want them to be thankful and not take the blessings of this life for granted. One mom writes and asks how to help her children be thankful this Thanksgiving season. Try these two family activities, […]

5 Tips to Beat Mom Stress

posted by Linda Mintle

Do you have mom stress? Then, stop what you are doing and look at this checklist. You can only go on empty so long. So…. 1) Take one hour a day for yourself. I know this sounds impossible but take […]

WWBD? What Would Barbie Do?

posted by Linda Mintle

Some feminists believe playing with Barbie leads to body dissatisfaction and the desire for breast implants. Now I know some of you are thinking, Oh come on, she’s only a harmless doll. An icon from the twentieth century. It’s not […]

Previous Posts

Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?
Parenting is on John's mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father's expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his ...

posted 7:00:20am Jun. 29, 2015 | read full post »

Are You Genetically Predisposed to Worry?
Susan feels she can’t stop worrying no matter how hard she tries. She’s beginning to wonder if she is a born worry. She is asking, "Can worry be genetic?" In 2007, Yale researchers found a gene variation associated with chronic worrying ...

posted 7:00:57am Jun. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Does God Hide in Times of Trouble?
When Christians are being beheaded in the middle east, when a man shoots people praying in a church, when young girls are taken and forced into sex slavery, when you are falsely accused or ridiculed for your beliefs, it often feels like God is ...

posted 7:00:35am Jun. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?
I was in the grocery store and the tabloids were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. Secrets are a problem. They don’t usually end well. I am often asked if it is a good idea to reveal secrets to a partner or a ...

posted 7:00:25am Jun. 22, 2015 | read full post »

The Gift Your Father Gave You
Happy Father's Day! I know not everyone has a great relationship with his or her father. However, this Father’s Day, I encourage to think about your father and find one thing he gave you as a gift. Some of you will think of many things, others ...

posted 7:00:16am Jun. 19, 2015 | read full post »

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