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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together Archives

Hurt By a Conflict? How Do You ReBuild Trust?

posted by Linda Mintle

You’ve heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you […]

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What’s Your Attachment Style in Conflict?

posted by Linda Mintle

We all develop an insecure or secure bond with our original families. That bond is referred to as an attachment style. The more secure the bond, the better you will deal with conflict. Two bonding styles make conflict difficult–anxious and […]

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How Do You Deal With Conflict: Take the Quiz?

posted by Linda Mintle

WE NEED TO TALK! When you hear that phrase, what goes through your mind? Take the short quiz here and see how you deal with conflict. Now that you know your primary style, let me ask you a few more […]

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We Need to Talk: How to Successfully Navigating Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

Jim and Rachel are at it again. They can’t seem to agree on so many issues and all the fighting is taking a toll. Like so many of us, this couple needs help navigating conflict in a way that grows, […]

Frozen in Conflict? 10 Ways to Thaw the Tension

posted by Linda Mintle

The hit movie Frozen includes a plot line of  sisters avoiding conflict. But does a conceal versus reveal approach to conflict pay off in real life? Not really. Now that we are all singing, “Let it Go” in our heads, […]

5 Tips to Change a Marriage From Fizzle to Sizzle

posted by Linda Mintle

According to marriage researcher, Paul Amato, 60% of divorces in the U.S. are from low conflict couples. This means these divorces were not characterized by abuse, addiction, repeated infidelity, or even high conflict. The marriages just fizzled. Couples stopped paying […]

10 Ways to Worsen Relationship Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

 Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only […]

6 Ways to Respond to a Mother-In-Law Who Doesn’t Like You?

posted by Linda Mintle

When Robert came home from work, he found his wife sitting in a chair crying. She was hurt by something that happened on the phone talking to her mother-in-law about holiday plans. Robert’s mother insisted they come to her house […]

6 Ways to Calm Down During an Argument

posted by Linda Mintle

Jack and Rachel do not agree on household chores.  Both work outside the home and are tired when they come home. The last thing either wants to do is tackle dishes, clean, water plants, etc. The conflict has come to […]

Should You Keep Secrets from Your Partner?

posted by Linda Mintle

I was in the grocery store yesterday. The tabloids at the check out were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. While we tend to expect this from celebrity relationships, secrets are a problem. They don’t usually […]

7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner

posted by Linda Mintle

Getting along in a relationship takes work. Some of the things we say, make things worse. Here are a few phrases that will probably bring more tension.  I was inspired by Gina Barreca’s recent blog to put a relationship twist […]

How Well Do You Really Understand Anger? Take the Quiz!

posted by Linda Mintle

Tony insisted he doesn’t have an anger problem. Yet, by all accounts, people say he does. I asked Tony to answer these 10 questions. After taking the quiz and talking with me, he changed his mind. See how well you […]

10 Emotional Repairs for Relationship Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

You are in the middle of a fight. Temperatures are rising and you know this isn’t going well. How can you bring down the tension and allow reason to prevail? You make what we call in therapy, an emotional repair. […]

Can You Stay NICE During a Conflict?

posted by Linda Mintle

“Please, when you come home, would you help me with the kids? I am trying to get dinner going and need you to take them for awhile. Is that asking too much? “ “It seems like the minute I walk […]

Talk on How to Handle Disagreements and Arguments. Listen In!

posted by Linda Mintle

Faith Radio and I talked this week about disagreements and arguments. What are the secrets to keeping things calm and actually coming up with solutions. Listen to the 20 minute interview. Click here.                 […]

How to Calm Down An Argument

posted by Linda Mintle

Russ and Rachel were at it again. Russ is driving like a maniac through busy traffic. “Hey, slow down. You are driving way too fast!” “I know how to drive and don’t need to be told what to do. When […]

4 Reasons Not To Avoid Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

I’m guessing that, “In this world, you will have trouble…” is not your favorite BIble verse to quote! But it is true, with trouble comes conflict.  Conflict is always present in our relationships and many of us don’t like to […]

2 Physical Reasons Not to Avoid Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

A typical question I get asked is, “Why can’t I just avoid conflict? It makes me uncomfortable. If, for example, my mother is driving me crazy, can’t I just ignore her? Or, if I get too upset talking to my […]

Could The Way You Start a Fight Predict Divorce?

posted by Linda Mintle

Jenna was really mad at her husband. He promised to come home at a reasonable hour. She cooked a fabulous meal, got the kids to bed but sat waiting in the silence. Two hours after his scheduled arrival, husband Tom […]

Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

If I asked you today, how you feel about your mom, would you be conflicted? Does that question raise anxiety in you, or make you feel upset, or do you just want to avoid the answer? The powerful mother-daughter bond […]

How To Get Out of a Relationship Triangle

posted by Linda Mintle

  Reader Question: I am in the middle of a big argument with my mom and sister. The issue is between me and my mom but my sister sides with mom and the two of them gang up on me. I […]

Struggling With Addiction? Get to the Root

posted by Linda Mintle

When a family member has an addiction but refuses to address the underlying problems of that addiction, the addiction does not go away. It may remit temporarily, but the same issues that led the person to escape and avoid through […]

4 Tips on Marriage From Divorced Couples

posted by Linda Mintle

When researcher Terri Orbuch at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research interviewed couples who divorced, she learned what couples would have changed in their failed relationships. Here are 4 tips from those couples.      

You Can’t Change Him, But You Can Change You!

posted by Linda Mintle

  One of the biggest problems in our relationships is that so many of us believe we can change another person. Truth is, we can’t. But we can change our reaction to that person and then the relationship changes.This lie, […]

Does It Matter What Your Wife Thinks?

posted by Linda Mintle

Tom’s wife made a spot on comment about his behavior, but Tom isn’t buying it. He looks at her and says, “You are wrong” and then becomes highly defensive. His wife tries again to explain her perception of the problem. […]

Encountering Life Storms: Lessons from Pilots

posted by Linda Mintle

Are you going through a difficult time, what we might call a storm in your life? It could be a health diagnosis, a failing relationship, difficulty at work, parenting problems, etc. We all have problems and issues that pop up […]

The Key To Staying Married

posted by Linda Mintle

“I like you and want to stay married.” Great. But that probably isn’t going to cut it unless the commitment is much deeper. Think about it. Most people stay committed when the relationship goes well, but what about when stress […]

Conflict Resolution in a Family

posted by Linda Mintle

What happens to children when the parents can’t deal with conflict? You might be surprised at the impact on kids. Watch the video  

How Happy Couples Deal With Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

  How many times have you heard a couple say they need to work on resolving conflict? Well, it may surprise you to know that conflict resolution is not the solution to happy marriages. My parents were married 67 years […]

Previous Posts

8 Questions: Are You A Hard Worker or Workalholic?
In the same way a drug addict uses cocaine or an alcoholic downs booze, work can have an anesthetizing effect on negative emotions. People use work to escape and avoid unpleasant emotional states. But because hard work is so sanctioned in our society, it is an addiction often minimized. Our once

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Breaking the Mental Habit of Worry
Because worry is in the mind, it is a mental habit that must be broken. Here are a few practical tips to help break the worry habit: Identify the thought behind the worried or anxious feeling. Let it come and don’t try to suppress it with thoughts like, “Stop worrying” “Don’t do this

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Hurt By a Conflict? How Do You ReBuild Trust?
You've heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you say. Keep your promises. Empathize with the other person’s issue and try to see t

posted 6:00:39am Mar. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?
I was in the grocery store yesterday, and the tabloids were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. Even though we tend to expect this sort of thing from celebrity relationships, secrets are a problem. They don’t usually end well. I am often asked if it is a good idea

posted 6:00:53am Mar. 20, 2015 | read full post »

What's Your Attachment Style in Conflict?
We all develop an insecure or secure bond with our original families. That bond is referred to as an attachment style. The more secure the bond, the better you will deal with conflict. Two bonding styles make conflict difficult--anxious and avoidant. To feel more secure you want to lower your an

posted 6:00:47am Mar. 18, 2015 | read full post »

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