Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

The Positive Side of Social Media and Teens

posted by Linda Mintle

Parenting concerns about the role of social media in the lives of teens are real. We are all too familiar with the dark side of 0n-line problems –cyberbullying, stalking, invasion of privacy, child predators, etc.

But are there any positive sides to teens and social media use? World Vision is one organization that will tell you YES!

Harris Interactive conducted an on-line survey for World Vision, the International Christian Relief organization. A total of 535 young people between the ages of 13 and 17 participated.  The results of that survey found that 55% of those teens felt social media sites like Facebook and Twitter brought more awareness to the needs of others. Another finding was that teens felt that local volunteering was important (91%).

So if you want to encourage your teen to use social media in a positive way, you might want to point him or her to this Facebook Page.

One of the ways World Vision involves teens via social media is its 30 Hour Famine Event held February 24-25. If you missed it this time around, you can also participate on April 27-28.  On those dates, teens agree to go without food for 30 hours, drinking only water and juice, and engage in community service projects in their local communities. The idea is to give the teens a small taste of what it feels like to go without food, to experience what children all over the world experience who go hungry. Prior to the beginning of the 30 hour fast, teens raise money for World Vision by talking about the impact a dollar a day can do to feed the hungry. Last year’s event raised 9.5 million. This year’s goal is ten million.

What a great use of the technology–creating more compassionate teens who care about others and will do something to meet their needs.

 

 

Do Opposites Really Attract?

posted by Linda Mintle

Are you emotionally expressive but attracted to someone who seems to be very reluctant to share his emotional feelings?

It may be the intrigue that has captured your attention. Or perhaps it is the challenge of opening up someone who seems emotional closed. This opposite style of dealing with feelings may seem interesting at first, but over time, can create problems in a relationship.

So why do we seem initially attracted to someone who might be opposite to us? What drives an extrovert to be attracted to the quiet reserved introvert? The answer has to do with finding someone who complements you and helps you grow. But the truth is, when you get into that opposite attraction relationship, problems arise. We really want people who are similar to us in many ways.

Attraction literature tells us that we are attracted to people who are similar on physical attraction, earning potential, desire for children, religion, class and education. And when we talk about values, similarities win big.

If you spend enough time around someone, you can begin to feel attraction. Proximity is a strong attraction feature. But the more you spend time with that person, the more you get to know him or her, the less likely it is that opposition will lead to a lasting relationship. Bottom line, similarities attract, not opposites. But you still need some differences to make the relationship interesting!

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Ash Wednesday: A Day to Let Go of Relationship Hurt

posted by Linda Mintle

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future—Paul Boese

Today is Ash Wednesday.  It is the beginning of the 40 days of preparation (Lent) that leads to the celebration of Chris’s death (Good Friday) , burial and resurrection (Easter). On this day, we focus on our sins, repentance and God’s forgiveness and grace. It is a reminder of the price our Lord paid to free us from the grip of sin.

So today, as we think about the seriousness of the cross and what it means, examine your heart in the area of relationships. Take a few moments to engage in quiet contemplation.

Is there anger or unforgiveness that you are holding in your heart? Has someone hurt you and you haven’t been able to let go of that hurt?

Today would be a great day to let go, give it to God and begin to pray for that person who hurt you.

1. Choose to forgive: You won’t always feel like forgiving someone but making that choice allows God to heal those hurts and wounds.

2. View forgiveness as an act of obedience to God. Romans 12:19-21 reminds us that God is  the One who will deal with people who have hurt us.

3. Remove the offense through prayer and release.

4. Meditate on Scripture.

5. Leave your hurt and wound at the foot of the cross. Nail the sin of unforgiveness at that place. Christ died for it.

6. Pray for the offender. This is probably the most difficult. In Matthew 5, Jesus tells us to pray for those who persecute us. Release all judgment and allow God to complete His healing in you.

 

 

For more help: Breaking Free from Anger and Unforgivness by Dr. Linda Mintle

 

 

Should You Date a Co-Worker? 10 Reasons to Be Cautious

posted by Linda Mintle

One of the things we know about attraction is that proximity can bring it on. So working day in and day out with a person often leads to feelings of attraction. You talk regularly, share problems, laugh and spend hours in each others company. In fact, surveys tell us that 74% of people have dated a co-worker.

But is dating your co-worker a good idea?

Office romances can be scintillating, but also problematic. While it might be fun to flirt and be given attention, the down side of office romance needs to be considered. Here are 10 cautionary notes:

1) You need to know your company’s policy on dating co-workers. If there is one that prohibits this, do not do it.

2) When the relationship isn’t going well, you can’t avoid the person. The smaller the office, the more awkward this can be.

3) Focusing on a co-worker as a dating partner often alienates you from other co-workers. You stop going to lunch with others, talking during coffee breaks, and getting to know people because your time and energy is with the one you are dating.

4) If your workplace frowns on dating co-workers, this can jeopardize your chance of promotion. Administrators may believe it is difficult to stay “professional” when your personal life intersects with the office.

5) A break up puts you in an awkward place. And you don’t know how people may respond to a break up. He or she could seek revenge or  undermine your work.

6) Dating a person to whom you report to is doubly problematic. The inequality of power places you in a vulnerable position and can be manipulated. If you are the boss, you could  be sued or accused of giving preferential treatment.

7) If you are quarreling out of the office, it may be difficult not to bring it to the office.

8) Other co-workers could get jealous and set you up.

9) What you share with a person while dating could be shared with the office after a break up.

10) This may seem obvious, but the co-worker may not be single. According to infidelityfacts.com, 36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a co-worker. The workplace is the number one place to meet someone for an affair.

What are your thoughts on dating a co-worker?

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