Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Responding to Unfair Treatment

Personally, I have had to deal with a situation where someone was treated unfairly. There was no apology and no indication that the offense would ever be acknowledged. And confronting the offense was not a safe thing to do. So how do you handle an injustice that you can’t address directly?

Our flesh wants to lash out when we’ve been treated poorly and our culture promotes revenge. But as Christians, there is a clear path to dealing with offense and injustice that doesn’t go along with our flesh or the culture.

First, you acknowledge the hurt and anger you feel. I am hurt that someone willingly chose not to do the right thing because he was afraid and would not stand up for his conviction of what was right. The more I think about the situations, the angrier I become.  So thinking about it over and over does not help.


Second, I must deal with the anger. I know, life isn’t fair, people do not always act the way they are supposed to, and sometimes people are scared to stand up for what is right. Intellectually, I understand why someone would do the wrong thing. My feelings have to catch up with my head.

The Bible is clear that we can be angry but not sin. Scriptural guidelines tell me to not give full vent to my anger (Proverbs 29:11), to not seek revenge (Romans 12:19), to forgive (Matthew 6:14), not to stay angry (Colossians 3:8), give the anger to God (1 Peter 5:7) and not take offense (Proverbs 12:16). Behind the anger is hurt.

Next, I choose to forgive the person and refuse to hang on to the offense. This is an act of obedience to God. As I release the person with forgiveness, I ask God to heal the hurt I feel. I meditate on 1 Peter 2:22-23—Jesus left his case in the hands of God. That is a good place to leave the offense—in the hands of God.


Finally, I need to release the person from my judgment. God sees what he did and will deal with him. I do not have to be the Holy Spirit for that person, God already is! My job is to pray for the offender and continue to allow God to touch my heart when the hurt surfaces.

The process of letting go isn’t easy when the offense impacts your life in a major way. But, asking God to help and refusing to hang on to unforgiveness will end in healing.

Is there an offense or injustice you are hanging on to that you need to release today?

For more help, check out my book, Breaking Free from Anger and Unforgiveness.


  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment eunice

    I think that the topic of forgiveness is another major point where jews and christians differ. it’s not funny or easy to ‘forgive’or let go of someone that is evil
    (justice have to be serve)rape, incest, abuse or beatings, murder of one loved one in an ‘ugly’ way, etc ITS NOT EASY. That is the reason why jews still ‘chase’ Nazi individuals, also add the cases in Rwuanda, Congo or etc? or Horrible cases in our own backyard? USA.. the duggard case for instance? I believe ‘justice have to be serve”, then or after that forgiveness can take place.

    G-d forgive my brother get murdered… do you think I will be ok only forgiving and let whoever does it without penalty? NO. That is why cities of protection/ refuge where in place for people that committed ‘sins’ or crimes in the bible. Christian have twisted the notion of Jesus, or his message about ‘forgiveness’ and have it all wrong: he said to the adulterous woman “i forgive you, sin not more”, because if they were not going to bring the man too, she was not going to get the condenation by herself that was a two person ‘sin’. Moses murdered someone and was forgiven( he had to pay the price being separated from his peers and ‘world’) 40yrs.

    Ah..Jesus is coming! i heard it many times, is he coming as a ‘baby’ or is he coming to get revenge? think about it. Justive will be served.

    G-d does not want us with bitterness or holding grudges forever and ever that is the part we all need to work on .G-d wants us to work on the fields of conflict resolution, reconciliation and victim support. Justice always have to be serve.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Maria


    the article is right and in accordance with the bible , i believe that the hardest part is: The process of letting go isn’t easy when the offense impacts your life in a major way. But, asking God to help and refusing to hang on to unforgiveness will end in healing.

    An injustice was done to me and for the worst i had been dealing all my life with anger managment, revenge feelings and unforgivenes so i couldn’t let go that easily
    i would say that it takes time, lots of prayers and be away or separated from the situation or person that is the “ofender”.
    ….but I only felt better when i took justice in my own hands in part. I knew i’ve stand for myself, that i was not a ‘carpet’
    and the ‘offender’ was not going to get its own way or laugh about it..I need it to have the last laugh.

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