The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Dress It Up, Mess It Up, Bless It Up

 

Heard a stunningly simplistic bit of wisdom on Sunday morning, offered by Rev. Kenneth White who was speaking at Circle of Miracles. An interfaith minister, AIDS Activist/ Educator and playwrite (I will be interviewing Kenny shortly and you will learn more about this multi-talented Renaissance Man). His style is to the point and laced with humor, so as to bring any audience to rolls of laughter and tears as he did for us on this crisp, cold Southeastern Pennsylvania day. We were warmed by his tales about the generations of his family, from his grandmother Aggie, to his wise mother who shared her beliefs in spirituality, to his grandkids who amaze him and drive him wonderfully crazy, by his admission.

So, the wisdom…he expressed that we always have the choice in any situation to:

Dress it up- embellishing the story so it is exaggerated beyond its actual boundaries. Some people feel as if they are not enough as is, so they make themselves appear to be something that they are not, out of a sense of insecurity. By dressing it up, we become inauthentic and out of integrity.

Mess it up-making the story worse than it needs to be, catastrophizing and awfulizing, with the intention of garnering sympathy, blaming, finger pointing and refraining from taking responsibility for our choices.

Bless it up-turn it over to a Higher Power, whatever that is for you. It doesn’t mean accepting abuse in any way. It is about reframing challenges into exercise equipment that strengthen us and make us more flexible.

Throughout my life, I have been in all three places. As a consummate Type A -overachiever-recovering-co-dependent whose inner critic has a field day at times and whose ‘savior behavior’ kicks in when I sense someone in need, I have come to recognize when I am about to tumble into the first two realms.  When I am temped to dress things up, I notice that ‘imposter sydrome’ has kicked in and what it takes to remedy it is to list my accomplishments that day, week, month, year and sometimes lifetime. The pull can be that strong requiring heavy duty remedy.  When messing it up rears its snarly head, I throw a brief pity party, whining in my head “how come, it’s not fair, they get to, I don’t…” When I realize that I am the only guest there, I leave, although recently my dear zen-friend Peggy has joined what she called my “poutin’ self” and gave me space to complain for a bit. Blessing it up is my true delight and I have been able to reframe even the most painful and challenging situations, turning lemons into the best  lemon merengue pie, I have ever had. Yum~

 



Previous Posts

Child's Play
I've been thinking a lot lately about my childhood experiences, almost in a life review format. Chalk it up to turning 56 in a few weeks. I grew up in a two parent household, with a younger sister born 2 1/2 years afterward,  so I had some time with them and with my grandmother as an 'only child'

posted 8:59:02am Sep. 28, 2014 | read full post »

Sleepiphany
This being a writer brings with it a penchant for word mash-ups and unique configurations. Many in my life share that talent. Yesterday while perusing Facebook, I noticed a term coined by a fellow wordsmith Shawn Allen. He was commenting on having taken a nap and then awakened with what he referred

posted 8:00:10am Sep. 26, 2014 | read full post »

Love Poems to God
Words come from a Divine Source, as far as I am concerned. since my writing (as if does for other wordsmiths) 'writes me'.  It flows through me and not from me. There are times when I have looked back at journal entries or articles I have penned over the years and think "Who wrote this?  I don't r

posted 11:18:21pm Sep. 25, 2014 | read full post »

Unremarkable
We all like to think of ourselves as extraordinary, exceptional, and  a slew of other superlatives. Is there anyone who wants to feel ordinary, as if they have not accomplished anything of note? Chances are, since you are reading this, you have indeed achieved a modicum of success. Likely you le

posted 12:02:42am Sep. 25, 2014 | read full post »

Do Overs
As Jews all over the world approach the High Holy Days, we are called upon to face ourselves in a metaphorical mirror and take stock of our lives in the past year. The image isn't always pretty, but it is real.  As I rewind the clock to September, 2013, I witness a woman whose life was on auto pi

posted 6:46:39am Sep. 23, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.