Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue


Therapy Thursday: Find a Mentor

posted by Beyond Blue
pocket therapist front cover small.jpg

I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. Many of them are published in my book, “The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit.

How would you like to cut your mistakes in half?

Then get a mentor.

Not a role model or a professional adviser—although those can’t hurt either. What you want is a person who can, in the words of author J. R. Parrish, “act like a filter to help you avoid costly mistakes and guide you through the perilous waters of life.” Or, as spiritual author Henri Nouwen explains, “keep reminding you of where your deepest desire is being fulfilled … [because] you distrust your own knowledge.”

My mentor’s primary job is to remind me that I am loved for who I am. I need not accomplish any major feat, win a Pulitzer Prize, or be the most popular blogger on the Internet in order to be loved and accepted. All I have to do is to take a few deep breaths and be my neurotic self. So, as you can imagine—given all my insecurities–my mentor is a very busy man!



  • http://www.mybiotechcareer.com Neilesh Kumar (Biotechnology Afficionado)

    I came across your blog when googling for cool biotechnology articles – didn’t expect to find this, but enjoyed some of your posts. Keep it up.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment marge wisniewski

    Where do I find a mentor?

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Marc

    great post–sometimes mentor can seem like a very big word but in my experience it doesn’t have to mean someone who shows you all the ropes and guides you along the path. they can be more like what Therese points to–someone who simply gives you good advise from the perspective of a bit more experience. When I first starting teaching at a small college, there were a few colleagues, not in my field, who really helped me get a sense of what doing this job day to day meant. They probably never thought of themselves as mentors, but they were always helpful and, most importantly, positive in a real way. There are so many complainers out there that I think that half the battle is learning how to navigate around them and not get run aground. That is what my “mentors” helped with. The best way to find a mentor is to listen to others and go talk to the ones you find insightful. You don’t have to ask if they will be your mentor. Just ask them questions you want answers to and if the answers are helpful, go back and ask again.

  • http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/2012/03/therapy-thursday-find-a-mentor.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+beyondblue1+%28Beliefnet%3A+Beyond+Blue%29#post melissa-torres@stx.rr.com

    I am glad that you don’t have to be the most popular blogger on the internet to be OK. But if we can make you the most popular one, we will! :-)

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Al Lindquist

    Therese Borchard is someone very special, just the way she is!

  • http://findingaspiritualmentor Angela Picou

    Hello, my name is Angela. I have recently turned my life around, living a faith based life. I was married on January 30, 2012 to an amazing man named Jace. We have been attending church in Nederland Texas where we as recently as the 26th of February were joined as members and I was baptized. I feel amazing and am looking forward to this journey, marathon, walk, with OUR FATHER…. I would like to know if there is a spiritual mentor available that would like to help guide me, and well, just be my friend. Letting go of all them old people, places, and things, meant letting go of quite a bit of people. I want and need new positive, encouraging, uplifing people in my life. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Angela Picou

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment SHIRLEY WILSON

    you are loved always i am a Evan Christian Rev
    MY NAME IS REV SHIRLEY AND I AM ON FACEBOOK
    I JUST BECAME A CHRISTIAN REV APPROX 4 MONTHS
    AGO,I HAVE BEEN SEPERATED FROM MY HUSBAND OF 52 YRS,FOR THE LAST FIVE YRS,I AM A CONSTRUCTION MANAGER BY TRADE, LOVE MY WORK BUT LOVE JESUS MORE,I WORK WITH SEVERAL GROUPS,
    ST JUDES HOSPITAL,HABITAT FOR HUMANITY,WATER WORKS,I TRY AND WORK WITH HOMELESS,AS MUCH AS I CAN IN DIFFERENT AREAS,GOD HAS A PURPOSE FOR ALL OF US,AND I GUESS THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN MINE,JESUS WILL NOT GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN BEAR GOD BLESS EVERYONE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY AMEN EVAN REV CHRISTIAN REV SHIRLEY WILSON

  • http://Mentors! Debbie A

    I’ve been extremely lucky to have had several mentors in my life; I’m only sorry I didn’t tell them how “lucky” I was to have known them or how much I really appreciate what they did for me. Most of them were work related; I was a young girl in the late 70’s who didn’t want to be the proverbial nurse, teacher or secretary & I tried College several times, but hated it simply because I knew I didn’t belong there…no interest. I finally started working for a Real Estate Developer who realized I was smart, patient, energetic & eager to learn the business. That’s when the “fun” started for me & I now realize, at age 57, how lucky I was to have found a man who didn’t necessarily believe women were only good as secretaries & I never had a problem with “making coffee”. I recognized early if I wanted “face” time w/my boss to just ask him if he wanted a “fresh cup” of coffee which I also enjoyed!

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