Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

You see this everyday.

It’s at your workplace…

In your family…

Among your friends…

And for that matter it’s everywhere…even in your own mind.

What’s interesting and “mind boggling” about it?

As much as you may not like it, this is the very thing that does make a difference in how your life turns out.

So instead of avoiding it like the black plague which most people do…

It’s time…to not only get a greater appreciation of how it can work for you…but how you can work it for yourself.

And thankfully…

Because of one man I was able to learn this before my teenage years, even though I didn’t use it like I do today until my early 20’s.

What is this all about?

Negotiation.

And more specifically…

Treating life as one big negotiation.

With that said ask yourself…

How much of your life is a negotiation?

1. Tugs of war

From the age of 7 until 20 I lived with my mother and step father Carl. Carl’s job…”headhunter”…which back in the 70’s and 80’s was referred to as someone who placed people in office type of jobs. And he was good at it.

This is where I first got exposed to negotiating…because Carl would “wheel and deal”…in a good way…when it came to getting people jobs.

At first it didn’t all “click” with me what he was doing. Then as time went on and I started working…it did…

Because each so called “meaningless” job I had…especially the pizza delivery jobs I worked after high school and through college…gave me the opportunity to negotiate.

There were situations of getting on the phone with people asking where their food was…why it wasn’t on time…and if they can get a discount.

At first it was somewhat intimidating.

However, over time I reverted back to Carl’s headhunting scenarios and just intuitively knew how to negotiate with people in challenging situations.

And over time this ability to negotiate carried over to other areas of my life.

Take a look in your life.

What do you do when put in a situation to negotiate? Whether it’s with a family member, a co worker, friend, and even yourself…how do you go about it?

Are you looking forward to the challenge…or do you wish you could not do it at all?

However you feel about it understand this…

No matter what you do…as you go through life people will try and “strong arm” you in different situations. It’s like being in a tug of war.

In other words…

People will try and get the “upper hand”…and unless you’re willing to negotiate in some way you’ll always have others controlling the situation.

The result…

You’ll end up living according to their agenda…not yours. And they’ll end up getting what they want, while you’ll end up reducing the likelihood of getting what you truly want…while having your life controlled by others.

Naturally…

There are ways to change this…

There are ways you can “negotiate”…even if at first you despise the thought of it…while at the same time creating a “win win ” situation for you and those involved.

2. From backstage to onstage

Earlier I mentioned that negotiation in your life takes place everywhere…even places you wouldn’t think of at first.

Case in point…at rock concerts.

As you may know I used to go to rock concerts…particularly heavy metal ones.

And it was here where I used “negotiation” to get backstage passes on a regular basis.

Now to most people this wouldn’t seem like a big deal.

To me it was important…

Because…one…it gave me a chance to chat with various rock stars while seeing how they conduct themselves…and also getting “inside their head” at what makes them tick…what helped them succeed in what they love doing.

And two…

It helped refine my “negotiation skills” while also willing to possibly get rejected when asking for the backstage passes.

In other words it gave me the courage to be persistent and resilient…and to not fear being rejected if someone were to say “no”…which did happen a few times.

Now why am I bringing this up?

Because there is carry over from one area of life to another when it comes to negotiating.

Therefore…

In your own life, it’s wise to get into the habit…even at the smallest of situations…to think in terms of negotiating.

This is what in essence will allow you to go from backstage to “onstage.”

It will give you the courage to “step up” and ask for what you want…the courage to be persistent…and the courage to have a “plan B” in case things don’t go your way at first.

And naturally…

It dramatically increases the probability of getting what you want.

Now of course there’s one other incredibly important part in making this all work for you.

3. Sealing life’s deal

I’m sure you know that during any negotiation there’s two sides…your side and what you want…and the side of others and what they want.

Along with this you’ll obviously get agreement and disagreement at times.

In addition…

There’s also two sides to the entire situation you’re negotiating about…the positives and negatives, benefits and drawbacks of how the negotiation turns out.

And by knowing this, whether things go your way or not during a negotiation you’ll know that there’s an equal amount of positives and negatives…pleasure and pain…happiness and sadness attached to the result.

Why is this important?

Because it gives you the courage and guts to be persistent and resilient when it comes to negotiating.

Plus…

It also gets you “off your butt” to want to negotiate in the first place.

This is all part of “sealing life’s deal.”

And here’s something else to remember…

You will come across people…to include family members…who will not like the idea of you negotiating…they won’t like it when you “push the envelope” when looking to come to a fair agreement that benefits all involved.

And that’s ok.

Because when you do “push the envelope” the probability of getting what you want is high…

While the people who don’t…and get offended…end up just settling…which keeps them stuck with what seems like no way out.

This was the mentality that got me the backstage passes.

This is the mentality I’ve used to get on the hundreds of radio shows I’ve been on.

This is also the mentality I teach in my Breakthrough to Achieve program…as well as every product, program, and coaching I do with people.

And the reason for this is because it guarantees that you’ll get the results you want.

You see…

Any time you’re looking for the “easy” life what ends up happening…you get the hard life you’re looking to avoid.

It all goes back to what you’ve heard many times…in order to go beyond where you’re currently at, it’s vital that you stretch beyond your comfort zone.

Arguably the best way to do this…

By treating your life as a negotiation.

And lastly…

You have what I’m calling the invisible negotiation which goes like this…

“You’ve got to be willing to walk away from the deal in order to get the deal.”

This is just another way of saying to “not settle” in any situation.

It’s not about settling.

It’s about a win win for all involved.

And certainly the same is true when it comes to you.

You never have to negotiate about the brilliance and magnificence of who you are…especially just to please others.

Instead…

Honor what makes you the special person you are that contributes tremendous amounts of value to the world.

The result…

It raises your self worth…the self worth of others…and demonstrates even more how important of a person you are.
10:08 AM 10/22/2017

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