A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile


The myth of ‘Forever'; Or, tainted love (Video)

posted by B. Dave Walters

In my relationship coaching work, I often work with clients with one of two problems: an inability to start a new relationship because they are afraid it won’t work, or an inability to leave a relationship that ISN’T working because they are afraid they can’t do better.

These may seem like two different things, but in reality they are the same: fear. Not just any fear, but a fear of being rejected, or being alone; which is just one more version of “I’m not good enough”.

Allow me, then, to help you to put both of these fears to rest, with a very simple idea: give up thinking in terms of ‘forever’.

There is only one question you need to ask yourself: is it working right NOW, or is it not? Since in the end, all you ever have is right now; your relationship is working right NOW, or it isn’t. A lifetime of happiness is built out of countless happy ‘nows’, nothing else.

YouTube Preview Image

If you are in a situation that is working, please, please, PLEASE don’t get hung up on ‘being afraid to be in a relationship’ because it might not work out.
Because you know what? It might not work out.
And, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll learn how to get over it and move on.
A better question is, what if it DOES work? What if this person is the One you’ve been looking for all along; are you willing to let your own fear and insecurity block your happiness?

The other end of the spectrum, and the topic of the videos here, are those of you who are hanging on relationships LONG after you know you should leave. Too many people are caught in unfulfilling, toxic, and abusive relationships because they are afraid of being alone.

YouTube Preview Image

To which I say, what’s wrong with being alone? Once you truly love yourself and realize what you deserve, you’ll see that it is absolutely better to be alone than be with the wrong person. If you just HAVE to be in a relationship, then finding another person who’ll neglect, take advantage of, hurt and ultimately betray you are *not * hard to come by; so why keep holding on to this one?

Remember, the only thing that matters is: is it working right now?
NOT did it use to work, NOT ‘can I do better’ (since you can); is it working or is it not? And if it’s not working, can it be fixed?
If it can be fixed, set about working together to fix it; if it can’t be fixed, set about working together to dissolve things like friends and go in your own different directions with your heads held high.

It happens; relationships end.
Worrying about that, or fighting that reality is just a reality for one long, sad, unfulfilled life.

You deserve better…but you have to realize that before anyone else will.

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything:
http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha  — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another —  A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

       



Previous Posts

Q&A: “I’m trying to smile, but I’ve hit rock bottom….”
Question submitted via Formspring: “Hello, I am on the journey of my life moving leaving everything i know to move to NYC by myself. I had to stay in a shelter and am still here. I have

posted 6:14:09am Nov. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A crash course in creativity
In honor of the National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org), in which we are all challenged to write a 50,000 word novel in a month, I wanted to put together a very quick crash course in creative writing. 

posted 11:56:00pm Nov. 01, 2014 | read full post »

The bad news about pursuing your dreams
We talked recently about what to do to have you breakthrough, and soon afterwards a friend contacted me about a hang up he’s having.  Essentially, he’s been in action towards achieving his

posted 1:13:09am Oct. 27, 2014 | read full post »

A full moon, a Blood Moon, and a Hunter’s moon; oh my!
Starting on October 8, his week will have a particularly powerful alignment when we have a Blood Moon, a Hunter’s Moon, AND a full moon in Aries will be happening all at once!  This is a particularly powerf

posted 2:44:05am Oct. 08, 2014 | read full post »

What to do to have your breakthrough
“Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” – Charles Kettering As of this week, I’ll have been writing these articles for five years, and to celebrate, I want to share with you so

posted 4:09:20am Oct. 06, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.