Advertisement

A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

The myth of ‘Forever'; Or, tainted love (Video)

In my relationship coaching work, I often work with clients with one of two problems: an inability to start a new relationship because they are afraid it won’t work, or an inability to leave a relationship that ISN’T working because they are afraid they can’t do better.

These may seem like two different things, but in reality they are the same: fear. Not just any fear, but a fear of being rejected, or being alone; which is just one more version of “I’m not good enough”.

Advertisement

Allow me, then, to help you to put both of these fears to rest, with a very simple idea: give up thinking in terms of ‘forever’.

There is only one question you need to ask yourself: is it working right NOW, or is it not? Since in the end, all you ever have is right now; your relationship is working right NOW, or it isn’t. A lifetime of happiness is built out of countless happy ‘nows’, nothing else.

YouTube Preview Image

If you are in a situation that is working, please, please, PLEASE don’t get hung up on ‘being afraid to be in a relationship’ because it might not work out.
Because you know what? It might not work out.
And, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll learn how to get over it and move on.
A better question is, what if it DOES work? What if this person is the One you’ve been looking for all along; are you willing to let your own fear and insecurity block your happiness?

Advertisement

The other end of the spectrum, and the topic of the videos here, are those of you who are hanging on relationships LONG after you know you should leave. Too many people are caught in unfulfilling, toxic, and abusive relationships because they are afraid of being alone.

YouTube Preview Image

To which I say, what’s wrong with being alone? Once you truly love yourself and realize what you deserve, you’ll see that it is absolutely better to be alone than be with the wrong person. If you just HAVE to be in a relationship, then finding another person who’ll neglect, take advantage of, hurt and ultimately betray you are *not * hard to come by; so why keep holding on to this one?

Advertisement

Remember, the only thing that matters is: is it working right now?
NOT did it use to work, NOT ‘can I do better’ (since you can); is it working or is it not? And if it’s not working, can it be fixed?
If it can be fixed, set about working together to fix it; if it can’t be fixed, set about working together to dissolve things like friends and go in your own different directions with your heads held high.

It happens; relationships end.
Worrying about that, or fighting that reality is just a reality for one long, sad, unfulfilled life.

You deserve better…but you have to realize that before anyone else will.

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!

Advertisement

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything:
http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha  — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Advertisement

Love One Another —  A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

       

Previous Posts

How to stop procrastinating and do what you know you should do
“Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn't matter. Cold or warm. Tired or well-rested. Despised or honored. Dying...or busy with other assignments. Because dying, too, is one of our assignments in life. There as well: "To do what ...

posted 10:41:06pm May. 10, 2015 | read full post »

Q&A: I love him, but I'm afraid all he wants is sex II
  Question submitted via Formspring: “I need advice. I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months now. We started out with a very casual relationship. We would hang out and we would have sex. That's it. It was fun at first but as ...

posted 2:38:37am Apr. 13, 2015 | read full post »

An Eclipse, an Equinox, and a Super Moon, oh my!
Friday, March 20, 2015 will mark a very powerful alignment of energies that will burn you up if you’re not careful, or propel you like a rocket if you make use of them! Three major events are taking place, with several other events ...

posted 6:14:17pm Mar. 19, 2015 | read full post »

Are you growing, or just growing older?
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was ...

posted 4:27:15am Feb. 18, 2015 | read full post »

How to feel happy, and be at peace
“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” ― Marcus Aurelius, ...

posted 11:14:28pm Jan. 19, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.