Angels on Your Shoulder

Angels on Your Shoulder

The landlord and the gays

I have no idea who wrote this but I think it is a great opportunity to see our wonderful ability to judge others from a new perspective. I am sure if Jesus was still walking the earth he would have a few choice words for our judgmental nature. If you know the author please let me know.

Scene: The Heavenly Real Estate Office)

The Landlord is cheerily rounding up a covey of blazing comets that have skittered under Queen Cassiopeia’s chair. His business agent, Mr. Gabriel, enters, his Golden Trumpet in one hand and more reports from the tiny planet Earth in the other.

The Landlord: (to the comets) Come out from under there, you little scamps, before you set that whole galaxy on fire.

Gabriel: Excuse me, Sir, another batch of Prayergrams from your most devout Christians.

The Landlord: (waving a hand) Whatever they want, Gabriel. Now where did those frisky little devils get to?

Gabriel: Yes, sir, they want you to evict 10 percent of your tenants down there. (raising the Golden Trumpet) I’ve never attempted a partial eviction. Shall I try?

Landlord: (looking up) What 10 percent, Gabriel?

Gabriel: The Gays, sir. Your devout Christians say they’ve done their utmost to keep them out of their schools, their offices, their churches and their lives, but without success. So their Prayergrams ask you to remove them from the face of the Earth.

The Landlord: By Me, Gabriel? That doesn’t sound very Christian. I thought they were supposed to love their neighbors.

Gabriel: Oh, they do, sir, if their neighbors are of the same color, economic bracket and sexual orientation.

The Landlord: But what harm do these gay people do?

Gabriel: I’m afraid you’re not seeing the big picture, sir. Gays simply don’t fit into your grand design. You know, two by two, male and female? Generation after generation? The fact of the matter is that gays simply don’t procreate.

The Landlord: I thought there was enough procreation down there already.

Gabriel: And they commit unspeakable acts.

The Landlord: Murder? Torture? Paving over my mountain meadows?

Gabriel: Unspeakable sexual acts, sir.

The Landlord: Ah, you mean they express their love for each other in different ways.

Gabriel: (annoyed) Really, sir, if these people were automobiles, they’d be recalled in a nonce. They’re clearly defective.

The Landlord: (frowning) Defective, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Exactly, sir. Some essential part is missing, some vital drive is malfunctioning. Bungled wiring, a loose screw… Who knows?

The Landlord: But clearly they are examples of shoddy workmanship?

Gabriel: Oh definitely, sir. And they certainly don’t deserve to clutter up your little blue-green jewel of a planet a minute longer. (raising his trumpet again) Shall I evict them now?

The Landlord: (slowly) And who made these imperfect products, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Why, You did, of course – but… (he lowers the trumpet in sudden consternation) Good You, sir, I didn’t mean to blaspheme. You will forgive them then?

The Landlord: (smiling) A wise philosopher said long ago, Gabriel, that if I made these sinners, it is not I who should forgive them… but they who should forgive me.

Gabriel: Well, I’m sure the gays will be glad to hear of your tolerance and generosity, sir.

The Landlord: The gays? I was talking about my most devout Christians.

With love, aloha and a smile,

Angels are everywhere just open your mind and your heart to the signs.

Make Angels on
Your Shoulder
part of your daily routine and share it with a

  • Jamie

    So is he referring to the christians as sinners that should forgive him? I was kinda confused at the last line.

  • Sandy

    That is how I understand it. The Christians were judging which made them the sinners.

  • teresa

    yes the Christians should ask forgiveness, because they were judging the gays. the only one that is able to judge anyone is God. that is unless any of you are able to walk on water. i know i can’t.

  • Susan

    Aloha Jamie, Sandy and Teresa,
    I like the idea that unless you can walk on water you can’t judge. That concept sure would make for a very different world.
    Have a great weekend,

  • Jamie

    Thanks I understand it alot more now ;)
    Enjoy your weekend.

  • Tiffoney Greene

    Yes, we can not judge nobody because we will be judged in the same measure to-which we judged; therefore, we do not take on that role buy we can guide them.
    Tiffoney Greene

  • Dawn Perna

    THis was printed in THE San Fransisco Sunday Examiner Wirtten BY Art Hoppe

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