Christlike Sex

Advice from Christian sex manuals: Pray, read the Bible...and play with jump ropes and vibrators.

BY: Deborah Caldwell

 
Christians of the world: Want a great sex life? Act "Christlike," says the author of a popular book, "A Celebration of Sex."

What does that mean? No, it's got nothing to do with washing your partner's feet or curing their leprosy during lovemaking.

To have "Christlike" sex, you should:

 

  • Pray with your sex partner
  • Read lascivious passages from the Bible. (Book of Proverbs: "As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times.")
  • Squeeze in a quickie 45 minutes before Sunday School.

    Oh, and experiment with vibrators, water pistols, rub-on tattoos and jump ropes. (Jump ropes? Don't ask.)

    All of this advice and much, much more can be found in a little-known genre of books: Christian sex manuals. They include " The Act of Marriage" by Tim and Beverly LaHaye, "Sacred Sex" by Tim Alan Gardner, "Intimate Issues" by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, "The Sexual Man" and "Secrets of Eve" by Archibald D. Hart, "The Gift of Sex" by Joyce and Clifford L. Penner, and "Intended for Pleasure" by Ed Wheat.

    These books include plenty of G-rated messages about creating a spiritual union with your partner. (1 Corinthians: "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other.") There is also advice to pray and study the Bible together as a way of enhancing marital intimacy.

    But flip through "A Celebration of Sex" by Christian therapist Douglas E. Rosenau and you just might possibly notice, sandwiched between passages on the philosophy of love: detailed drawings of a penis, clitoris and labia, as well as several sexual positions (wife on top, side by side, husband on top, crosswise, rear-entry, and standing).

    The author advises that sexual slang--"pet names for body parts and secret vocabulary shared by only the two of you"--is permissible. "As Christians, however, we must be careful to avoid the very negative attitudes and ideas about sex that society...has incorporated into slang." He even gives acceptable examples: "Big John," "Shamu" and wanting to "dive into your pool."

     

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