8 Things You Won't Get to Do Once You Have Children
While motherhood is very rewarding, there are things in life that you will miss because of your little angels. You laugh because you know that it's true!
The other day, I was in a cosmetics store and asked the girl working there what product she would recommend from a new line they were featuring. Now, I say girl because frankly, she was fresh faced, cute as a button, perfectly tan, toned, and wrinkle free. (All the things I no longer am.)
Girl: "Well, Ma'am…"
(Ma'am? Ugh, we're already starting off on the wrong foot.)
"… I'm totes LOV-ING these facial towlettes, because like, you know when you get home and you're so exhausted after a late night of partying or whatever and you just can't make it to the bathroom to wash-up? You can just keep these by the bed and you're done."
My Response: "Ha ha ha hee hee hee cackle cackle choke cough ha ha ho ho - um, No."
Yes, it was amusing to even entertain that thought.
Well, it's a "no," unless going out to dinner and having to drive around the block a couple times to ensure my children will be sleeping when I get home, counts as partying?
Let's face it, those are things you do pre-kids, when you don't have someone to feed in the AM, when you know you'll get to sleep all the way through the night and maybe well into the afternoon. When you don't worry that all those high calorie drinks will take a month to work off or that you'll wake up with bags so full, your eyes will be practically indiscernible from your eyelids.
Then it dawned on me, there are many things we no longer get to do once we become moms, skipping a night at the sink being the least exciting of them. There's a score of little things that you probably never realized you lost because frankly, you weren't conscious of having them in the first place. Let's face it, after kids you don't get to:
1. Be Selfish - Remember when you could order a dessert, or a smoothie, or a sandwich with chips, and no one asked for a bite, piece, chunk, stuck their finger in it, put their mouth on, it or stole the whole thing? Or what about wearing a sweater that you'd never have to give up because some little person said she would be fine without one, but was wrong? Or being able to use the entire coverage of the umbrella (I mean any coverage)? Yes, I remember those things too, vaguely. Aside from the fact that you share your things to make your children happy, it's literally an illegal parenting move to not share - because it goes against everything you've taught them since like … birth! Now that one of mine is a preteen he mooches my Starbucks. MY SACRED LATTES! (I may need to revisit how important sharing is.)
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