Christmas Without Cash

Big on Spirit, Low on Money

By Gay Norton Edelman

’Tis the season! To be jolly, to celebrate life, to reconnect with loved ones, to make merry and—to shop. But recently the whole country has had opportunities to look at ways to be more careful and considerate about how and what we buy. This year, we have a chance to seek the true spirit of the season rather than get wrapped up in the more commercial aspects. As they say, "It’s the thought that counts." Here are 12 ideas I’ve gathered for a richer, not more expensive, Christmas.

Find Out How to Have a Great Christmas Without Cash

Gay Norton Edelman is a senior editor at Family Circle magazine. She writes frequently on spiritual issues; her favorite gifts are donations to her favorite charities, but she’s not a bit opposed to shiny packages, too.

Manage Kids’ Expectations

At a time when the financial reality requires that it has got to be the love and not the stuff that matters, let your kids know that you’re opting for a simpler, more heartfelt holiday season. They can handle it. But don’t say, “We can’t afford it.” Say, “We’re choosing to keep it simple and creative this year. We’re going to focus on being imaginative about gifts and emphasizing togetherness, not shopping.” If you believe it, they will, too (even if they do groan and roll their eyes). Help them gain perspective by volunteering as a family (actually having contact with the people you’re helping is the best form of give-and-take there is). Collect donations for food banks or give time at an animal shelter. Show them how much you believe in their giving little hearts and prepare to be awed!

Suitable for Framing

Find a nice poem in the public domain, and create something your loved one can frame (or polish and use one of those frames in your bottom drawer, or pick up a simple one at the dollar store). How about the serenity prayer for your 12-step buddy? Or your sister’s favorite Psalm (such as, “Be still and know that I am God,” Psalm 46:10)? Wrap and add a bow--at my house we sometimes use the Sunday comics or, for fans, the sports section, as wrapping paper--and you’re ready to rock and roll! Not long ago my friend Karen printed out a list of pithy healing statements for me in my favorite color, purple (sample, from Mother Teresa, “Intense love does not measure; it just gives”). It’s hanging in my dining room right now.

Focus on an Interest

It really is the thought—not the dollar number on the bottom of the receipt—that counts. Think about what your loved one really enjoys or cherishes, and gather together simple tools of his trade or hobby. Your friend loves to write—get her a blank book, a pretty pen, and a set of ear plugs. Your husband cherishes his garden–give him a pile of seed catalogs and a promise in writing to do the ordering for him when the time comes. For a baker—create a basket of supplies and a shiny new gadget to spur her on. And if you dare, you can even re-gift or go with gently used goods. I have friend of limited means who’s a genius at knowing what books I like—twice I’ve received a lovely stack of two or three spiritual books, tied with raffia, decorated with a small sprig of greenery, and sporting a heartfelt, custom-written card. Perfect!

Grandma, We Love You!

Have everyone—the kids, the grandkids, the in-laws—write love notes, with specifics on what they’re grateful for and what their favorite times have been. Embellish with hand drawings. Cover a shoe box with pretty paper, stuff the love notes inside, and watch the feelings flow. Or do you have a relative (like my sister-in-law Eve who never misses a birthday, anniversary, or holiday for anyone in our huge family) who likes to send as well as receive notes of good cheer? A thoughtful gift could be an assortment of lovely stationery and some cool custom stamps. (There are several sites that make them. Or just go to the post office and have them show you their assortment of commemorative stamps.)

Share Your Soul

Take a page from the tradition of prayer beads. Make or buy a string of pretty beads. As you string them, one at a time, speak a special prayer “into” it; if store-bought, just touch each bead and say a prayer as you do. Make each brief prayer meaningful for the recipient (e.g. May you find true love, may you make a dream come true, may you do well in school this year, etc.). Find a lovely jewelry-sized box and present it to your loved one with a special note. Either explain that each bead has a special prayer in it or list the prayers. (I’m doing this for my sweet big sister, Anita, who totally deserves this kind of blessing.) You can use the same principle with a knitted or crocheted scarf or afghan—pray with each stitch, then present with a note on the item’s history. You could even go with recipes—copy your favorites into a pretty pamphlet, adding a prayer or a simple, affirming quote with each one, then bake one of the dishes and present it all together.

Potluck Dinner

Happiness researchers tell us that it isn’t the cost of the gift that creates the wow but the quality of the love behind it. Even when it feels like the reason for the season is eating, what really matters is all the good energy flowing as the dishes are passed. So plan an extended-family or neighborhood potluck dinner. You provide paper cups, plates, and plasticware—or go green and have everyone bring his or her own plate, cup, and silverware. You also take charge of beverages and hors d’oeuvres. Then set a date and assign half your guest list vegetables and salads, a quarter an entrée, the last quarter desserts. Run a vacuum around the living room, pull out your best tablecloth, and now it’s a party!

Schedule a Games Night

Here’s a way to get together with friends and family that will never end in arguments over who’s picking up the tab! Invite a dozen or so people (more gets unwieldy) and ask that everyone bring a snack (some folks can bring sweet, some savory) and a favorite no-tech game. (As in Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly, Pictionary, or even that weird unopened one way back on the shelf.) Light the bayberry candles and the fireplace, if you have one, and laugh the evening away. My neighbors and I still recall the night, organized by my friend Barbara, when we all got so giddy over some silly game that tears rolled. You can’t make this kind of memory happen, but you absolutely can lay the groundwork. To get the fun started, stack all the games on the coffee table and get a consensus. Or rotate through the top three or four—who says you can’t be fickle?—and party on.

Stop, Look, and Listen

When my kids were little, we made it a tradition to walk or drive around the neighborhood to admire the lights and displays and talk about what a great community we lived in. As you lace the lights around your home, light holiday candles, sit down to a festive meal, or gather with friends, loved ones or co-workers, pause for a few moments. Take some slow deep breaths and count your blessings. When someone wishes you “Happy Holidays,” soften your overstressed heart and let yourself receive the love and respond with your own sincere good wishes. In the end, giving and getting are both blessed, as we celebrate life in our own ways--in December and all year long.