After Jamming a Grease Gun Up a Cow's Nose, I Hereby Officially Renounce My Faith

When reading the scriptures, it doesn't take long to realize that God periodically expects enormous sacrifices from his children.

Whether it is Abraham being told to stick a knife in his son, Noah building an ark, Job being tormented to the point of mental illness or Nephi lopping off Laban's head, it's all about proving one's faith.

The big question is, why? I figure God already knows how faithful people are. Hey, he would have to get out of the omnipotent business if he didn't know basic stuff like that.

So, being commanded to do certain things is probably more a matter of proving our faith to ourselves or possibly to remind us to keep taking our medications.

Most people feel solid in their faith. No way could anything shake it. They are prepared to die, if necessary, in order to prove how much they love God. Big deal. I could do that.

Sacrifice one of my kids? No problem. Build an ark? I'd start right now if I knew some people would drown when I got done. Some days I would cut off Pat Bagley's head if you suggested it, never mind an angel commanding me to do it. But those are other people's sacrifices. When God wants to test your faith, he'll go where you are the weakest.

My test came on Wednesday. It wasn't an angel. It was Dale Sorenson from the high priest group, asking me to help out with a welfare assignment. And because he wasn't an angel, Dale could lie.

Continued on page 2: »