Focus on Your Happiness
We can prevent or lessen much of our anger by focusing on what we can control and cultivating our own happiness. This includes simply stopping the behaviors that make us unhappy, Karmin said.
He shared this example - “If nagging our partner about leaving their shoes in the hall pleases us, we are free to continue. If it turns out that we hate doing this, we are free to stop.” According to Karmin we might say, “It makes me angry when you do that, I would prefer that you pick up after yourself.”
If bad-mouthing your spouse pleases you, you can continue, he said. Again, if it doesn’t, you can choose to stop. Of course, this may not be so simple all the time. But it can help to reflect on what contributes to your anger and happiness, and make intentional choices.