How to Say Yes When Your Body Says No

Are you facing a health challenge?

After learning of a health challenge of any kind, you will likely be barraged with information from doctors and friends, and your own desire to find out more about your situation will also likely compel you to seek out even more. But while you’re taking in all that information, it is important for you to consider what you can do to bring yourself into a peaceful frame of mind and get in touch with your Self, your inner wisdom, with Life, so that you will be able to know what to do with all that information. In his new book How To Say Yes When Your Body Says No, Dr. Lee Jampolsky offers key principles that are based on what he has found bring health and healing to people struggling with even the most catastrophic of situations. Some of the principles may not make immediate sense, or they may even challenge your present thinking. On the other hand, some of the principles may ring true for you, calling to your inner wisdom. Even if you currently find yourself confused, anxious, and afraid, there is a part of you that is ripe for healing and for growing from what is happening in your life today.

How will you respond?

1. You may not have chosen what is happening to your body, but you can choose how you respond.

One of the most important things we can ever learn is the connection between our thinking and our health. Think of health as not only referring to the state of the body, but also the state of the mind, which affects the body. Instead of ruining our lives, it is possible that health challenges may actually enhance our days, no matter how many or how few days we have left. We each have the choice between only suffering through a health challenge and growing into a better person because of it. Remember this: In life only two things can happen each day and one of them will:

a) One day you will wake up knowing that it is your last day.
b) One day you will wake up not knowing it is your last day.

If you assume “b” will happen, but live each day as if “a” is today, your life will be much richer.

You can overcome!

2. Becoming less focused on the past and future is how to overcome fear, physical pain, stress, and all suffering.

There is a deep connection between our health and how much stress and upset we have in our lives, or, put more positively, how much we choose to experience the calming effects of love in our lives. What keeps us from saying yes to Life when our body says no is, always, fear. It comes in many forms, disguises, and textures—fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of how our situation will affect our loved ones. Today a quieter realization can come, one that says, “This does not have to mean the end or lead only to a difficult existence. I can become a better person from this.” Remember, health can be defined as an extension of inner peace, and healing is about letting go of fear and returning to the core of who you are—nothing more and nothing less.

No matter what

3. You can learn to direct yourself to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening with your body or life situation.

Your power to heal yourself is really the ability to develop a state of mind in which you can let go of fear and discover Love more fully. Fear keeps us from our inner wisdom during a health challenge, telling us we are nothing more than our body and that full healing is unreachable to us. You may not have chosen what is happening to your body, but you can choose what attitude and beliefs you respond with. Learning to love more deeply, becoming kinder, and finding inner peace is possible no matter how horrific the situation. Remember, no matter how sick your body is, extending Love—that power greater than ourselves—as well as compassion and empathy, to ourselves and others, will reduce your suffering and aid in healing.

Learn

4. You can learn from your health challenge and become a better human being.

You likely have more information about what to do with your car or dishwasher when it breaks than how to deal psychologically, spiritually, and emotionally with a health challenge and all its implications. You may have not consciously chosen your physical situation, but you can choose how you respond, what you learn, how you are with other people, and how you live each day. Do not make the mistake of thinking that physical health is all you need in order to be happy, or that without physical health, you cannot have the outlook and attitude that vibrant Love can bring. A miracle has occurred when something that was causing us upset and conflict is transformed into something that deepens our experience of growth, healing, love, and meaning. This miracle can happen today.

Focus

5. You can learn to focus on the whole of life rather than the symptoms of your physical condition.

If we watch our mind and emotions, we’ll see that what makes us afraid and ineffective is not our physical condition or our emotions themselves, but the commentary that our inner critic (the part of our mind that always tells us what you should or ought to be doing) adds to the situation. Most suffering is caused not by the situation, but by resistance to what is happening and the over-focus on the symptoms. Regardless of what change is occurring, we can focus on the whole of life and love more deeply than ever. Regardless of your situation, level of pain, or worries, consider making this statement: I am committed to saying calmly, no matter what my physical situation, “Thank you for today and the opportunity to love more deeply.” If you find yourself suffering at all, remember this: When we focus less on our own symptoms and condition and surrender to the act of selflessly giving to another being, our suffering is greatly reduced and replaced by a sense of peace of mind.

How You Think

6. Your health challenge is not the source of your upset; your thoughts and beliefs about it are.

If left to its own devices during a health challenge, your mind will default to fear-based thinking. It is always this way. It would be nice if human consciousness were not this way, and that during a health challenge your mind would automatically abandon fear-based thinking for only healing thoughts, but in fact, the opposite is the case, unless we very consciously and consistently choose otherwise. Despite what many self-help books may say, only employing a program of positive thinking never really works in a lasting way. The truth is that we need to learn how to observe and be aware of all of our thoughts and decide if they are true or not, which is much different from trying to have only positive thoughts. During a health challenge, questions are not bad, and many are very important to ask. But if all we do is ask questions, we are probably, to some degree, resisting what is happening to us. Resistance always creates an internal conflict. There are times that a statement to your self such as “This is happening and I accept that it is” is more important than an endless series of questions.

It's Your Choice

7. You are free to choose how you feel and react, and you have the ability to respond in a growth-oriented direction.

We have the tendency to fight the current of our life—to curse it, to try to change the course of it, to panic in it, fear it, and to try to avoid it. There is another way of being. The earlier we begin to realize our inner peace has nothing to do with outer circumstances or even the condition of our body, the sooner we will begin healing instead of suffering. Many people wait for religion, a new teacher, minister, guru, or a trip to a sacred place to have spiritual awakening. But, if we are ready to awaken to who we are, the tube of the CT scan, or the room where we receive chemotherapy, or the place we are at this very moment, can become the altar where we discover the core of who we are. It would be tragic to have your health challenge, be in pain, and learn nothing about yourself. Choose otherwise.

Attitude

8. Your emotions, attitudes, and thoughts affect your health, and you can utilize this knowledge in your healing.

The components of meaning, purpose, and love are essential to healing. These are lost when we cease to remain in the present moment with whatever is happening to us. Instead, we make up a reality in our minds and project that reality into our future. This projected reality always includes some fear, obsession, and worry, and lack of peace of mind is the result. A paradox to remember: A complete obsession with getting physically better actually can make you worse. Freedom from suffering involves recognizing your fearful mind, your attitudes, your thoughts, and that you have a choice in how you respond to the pain of a given situation.

Inner Peace

9. Health is an extension of inner peace, and healing is letting go of fear.

Prescribed and available medical treatments are certainly important, but where you direct your mind and what your goals are during this time is equally important. We can choose to love regardless of the state of our body, and when we accept love, we are not suffering. All that is necessary right now is the slightest thought that maybe, just maybe, any health challenge, now or in the future, has a purpose: to let go of old fears and bring you closer to Spirit and to those you love, to raise your consciousness, and to redirect your life to what is most important. A fearful mind creates a lack of trust in ourselves and life, which then limits healing by increasing stress and anxiety, robbing us of vital energy during a time when we need it most.

Love

10. The core of who you are, your true nature, is Love.

Health challenges bring us opportunities to release layers of who we think we are so that we can find who we really are and what is most important to us. A common misconception is that trust is something we can feel only when “good” things happen. Fear-based thinking during a health challenge takes you away from your true nature and always sees situations as either/or, as black or white. When we realize we are engaging in such thinking, we can pause and realize there are other options, other ways of seeing the situation. A fearful mind and the negative emotions it creates contribute to illness and reduce the ability to recover fully. Any approach to healing that fails to reduce fear, anger, guilt, hostility, and stress is never going to lead to full health.

Forgiveness

11. Forgiveness is essential to health, growth, and healing. Excessive worry about the future and being angry or guilty about the past limit healing and can be overcome.

A healthy mind has ceased to worry because it knows the outcome can always include Love and forgiveness. Healing always includes an increased awareness of our connection with others and with Life itself. We can approach our health challenges in two very different ways: as a victim or as a learner. Which we choose determines whether we increase fear or increase healing. We often see events as happening randomly, and at best, we can be a passive and fearful participant in them. This view is the victim approach. There is another way of seeing your health challenge. There is another way to go through an illness besides feeling constantly sucker-punched in the gut by life and believing there is not a damn thing you can do about it. Decide if, in all situations from now on, what you are going through can bring you something, some meaning, and then commit to finding it.