How to Play the HOPE Card Through Cancer

Looking for Cancer Support? Play the HOPE© Card

By Lori Hope

When you’ve had cancer, like I have, hope reigns supreme. Numerous studies attest to the healing power of hope in cancer and other medical situations. And as Fyodor Dostoevsky said, "To live without hope is to cease to live."

You may feel powerless at times as you navigate the narrow straits of cancer , but you can shore up your strength if you play the HOPE Card, which I will show you in this gallery.

Playing the HOPE Card can help you live with hope when doctors, friends, or even strangers unintentionally dent, dash, or destroy it. You know how that happens. People share "horror stories" about someone they knew who had cancer and didn’t fare well. They undermine your treatment decisions by telling you that you have to try megavitamin therapy before chemo. Or they darken the light of your soul with candle-snuffing complaints about their own lives.

If you find yourself in need of a mood boost, play the HOPE card, starting today: Read what each letter represents, and use it to resurrect hope, even when all seems lost.

Note: The full card is listed on the next-to-last slide. Print it out, and don’t go anywhere without it!

Click to see what the "H" in "Hope" stands for.

Lori Hope is the author of Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know. Visit her online at LoriHope.com.

P is for Protection

When I had cancer and the grocery cashier asked, "How are you?" I replied, "Okay, but I was just diagnosed with lung cancer." "My aunt died of lung cancer!" she cried. Ouch. I've learned to protect myself from such gaffes by choosing when and whom to open up to. Also, when I had cancer I was very sensitive to bad news in general, and I learned to shield myself from it.

How to "P:" If someone starts to say, "Oh, no, lung cancer! My aunt...", protect yourself by interrupting, "I know you'll understand that I only want to hear survivors' stories." If someone begins a sentence with, "You should...", chime in, "I'm pretty scared, and advice can overwhelm me. Thanks for understanding." Protect yourself from toxic friends, and seek out hopeful ones. Protect yourself from toxic news by turning off the TV and staying away from news media.

E is for Empathy

People say annoying things like, "Your cancer is part of God's plan" (that always makes me want to say, "Really? What does God have planned for you?"), or "But you can't have cancer; you look so good!" ("You're right, I'm just kidding!"), or they deluge you with advice, because they're fearful or they just want to help, but can't understand how you feel because they haven't been there.

How to "E:" Try to empathize with and forgive them, and you'll feel better. Holding onto anger hurts you more than them. And have compassion for yourself. Don't chide yourself for being "too sensitive" – going through the physical and emotional stress of treatment renders you more vulnerable, so you deserve extra TLC!