Recovery

We can’t change the fact that we develop an eating disorder. But we can choose to get better. And, in the process, we are certain to gain wisdom, as we find our way out of a very dark and pervasive illness and back to a sense of ourselves—often, that we feel like we’ve lost. In this way, our eating disorders can become a great gift in an absolutely ugly package. If you are battling eating, weight, and shape, this might be hard—or even impossible—to believe. Healing from a mental illness can be like completing a complex jigsaw puzzle. When things aren’t getting better, a key piece of the recovery puzzle is usually missing. Despite working hard in recovery, do you find yourself in a debilitating cycle constantly searching to complete the picture? If so, here are seven ways to jump into full recovery from an eating disorder.

Prayer: The Lost Puzzle Piece in Recovery

While you are down, searching everywhere, consider this: give prayer a chance. An essential component to eating disorder recovery, and which we advocate for at Eating Recovery Center, can be having faith in something greater than yourself. In the beginning, this might simply mean a belief in your support group, in your doctor, therapist, or dietitian, or possibly in friends and family. Some people find comfort in believing in a higher power or God. Praying, for many individuals, might mean connecting with this higher power. Others find prayer to be connecting with their heart—their intuition, which can ultimately be a way to unite with a God of their understanding. For some, a prayer is a walk in the woods or listening to a powerful piece of music. Prayer might be entering a particular place of worship, walking into a Twelve Step recovery meeting, or even having dinner with a trusted friend from outside of your day-to-day world—someone who brings you a special sense of serenity.

Separating Your True Self from Your Eating Disorder

This all sounds easy enough until you consider that fact that Ed is probably drowning out most or all connections to your spirituality. Ed is an acronym for “eating disorder.” A concept made popular in my first book, Life Without Ed, this therapeutic approach treats the eating disorder like an abusive relationship— rather than a condition or an illness. Although Ed might berate you day and night, you stay. You might feel trapped—like you can’t possibly live without him. Ed might tell you that you are special and that without him, you’re worthless. But, the way to know the difference between Ed and your true, spiritual, self underneath is that Ed tells you you’re lesser than. Prayer can help you amplify the other voice being drowned out – the one that only tells you how beautiful and whole you already are. That’s how you know you’re listening to the right one.

Don’t Let Your Eating Disorder Become Your Higher Power

The truth is that Ed, the illness, might seem bigger than you. Some say Ed becomes like their God. But, an eating disorder is never bigger than God—whatever your view of a higher power might be. In Twelve Step meetings, “Let go, and let God,” is a common slogan. At first, the simplicity of this phrase can anger a lot of us. It can seem so contrived and too simple to address something as complex as a biopsychosocial illness like an eating disorder. Yet, in the end, letting go can be the crux of it all: mental illness is far too complicated for any one person to “figure it out.” Even with expert professional help, which is a crucial component to getting better, individuals who suffer often need something bigger—something beyond understanding—to truly transcend the illness. Because of this, transcendence can seem utterly impossible.

Diving Into Transcendence

Plunging yourself out of an airplane soaring 100 miles per hour at 12,000 feet can seem impossible, too. Yet, in eating disorder recovery, our doctors, dieticians, and therapists metaphorically ask us to do just this. They rightfully encourage us to take this leap of faith, because they know that others have succeeded before us doing the same thing – and as I can speak for our work at Eating Recovery Center – we know you’re under superior medical care. Therefore in recovery, personal awareness and our support team can gear us up to bravely enter the recovery airplane. Within the seemingly safe walls of the plane, we might learn all of the recovery tools required in order to jump. Our treatment team gives us a jumpsuit and instructions; they’ve even “got our back.” Literally, in skydiving, a tandem master is attached to your back. Then, your treatment team and loved ones inevitably say, “Jump. You can do it.” No one will push you out of the plane. In order to face that intense fear, you must make a different kind of decision to get better. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes, and some have found the leap possible with spiritual tools – it was their extra parachute, to help them know no matter how scary the fall, they’ll do their best to land safely, two feet on the ground.

Taking a Leap of Faith For Recovery

Jumping means fully following your food plan and trusting that your body will end up at a healthy size that you can accept and maybe even love. Jumping means believing that life in recovery will be better than your life with Ed. No one can convince you that you ever will find peace with food or your body. You will frequently wonder, “Is a recovered life worth all of the effort—worth the jump?” The hard part of recovery is that you have to jump before the parachute will open, but trust it’ll be there when you’re falling. You must jump before you have the answers to all of these tough questions. If you wait around to jump for when it becomes easy, you will wait forever. This is similar to how eating, in recovery, becomes easy by eating. This is that God-shaped puzzle piece of recovery.

Spirituality is the Power Puzzle Piece in Your Recovery

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You can attempt to put the entire recovery puzzle together—have a wealth of tools, a plethora of knowledge—but if you’re not incorporating spirituality to help propel you out of the recovery plane, you might live with eating-disordered attitudes and behaviors forever. Yes, you might spend your entire life in the recovery airplane. But a mediocre recovery is not truly living. Some might call this merely surviving. But, due to the fact that anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness, tragically, many of us won’t survive in the plane forever before it runs out of gas. Are you stuck in the recovery airplane? How can you begin to lessen your grip on the door of that plane and consider taking a leap of faith? Can you begin to trust God, a higher power, or anything greater than yourself?

Clarity in the Free Fall to Recover Our Lives

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When we jump, the synergy of all of our recovery efforts truly begins to pay off. All of those therapy appointments begin to connect with the dietetic appointments in ways that we had never considered. Our doctor visits move us forward in ways that hadn’t happened previously. This is difficult to explain; it is spiritual. It is the exhilarating freefall. No longer trapped in the airplane; the world looks different from our new perspective. We can see parts of life that were covered up before. We are finally viewing our existence without eating-disordered glasses clouding our sight. All in all, we recover from our eating disorders in order to recover our lives.

Faith Provides the Strength To Never Give Up

When you get the urge to quit, try looking up. Try praying in whatever form that takes for you, or whatever faith resonates with who you are. You might be too tired to utter a single word. But God, a higher power, or even your intuition are big enough to connect with your heart. For all of us, it is through our struggles that we stumble upon our strengths. Let spirituality guide you a new resilience, one that you never imagined possible. After jumping out of the recovery plane, you will be stronger than before. You will be happier and experience a greater peace. Hold onto this hope. Full recovery from an eating disorder is absolutely possible. Never give up.

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