7 Signs of Domestic Violence You May Be Unaware Of

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Most relationships go through periods of difficulty and all couples fight from time to time. However domestic violence, which includes physical and emotional abuse, is a different and more serious problem. Domestic violence is a pattern of abuse that a partner (former or current spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend) uses to control the behavior of another.

There are a lot of signs of domestic violence that are well known, such as name-calling, physical pushing or slapping, and intense bouts of rage. Abuse comes in many forms though, and there are signs that you might not be aware of. These red flags are huge indicators that a victim is being abused by their partner and should not be taken lightly. Some of these signs may be subtle or easily written off with excuses.

Familiarize yourself with these signs so that you can recognize if someone is in a violent relationship.

The abuser plays the victim role.

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The abuser in the relationship will never take responsibility for their life or their actions. If they have a bad day at work, they blame it on someone else. If they are upset, they might blame their partner for making them feel that way. They abuser expects their relationship to keep them happy and fulfilled at all times, and when it doesn’t they always put the victim at fault. An abuser expects the victim to meet all of their needs, emotionally, domestically, and so forth. The unrealistic expectations set by the abuser are impossible to achieve. As time goes on, the abuser may even blame the victim for causing them to hit or emotionally abuse them.

The abuser wants full commitment.

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The abuser might say that it is love at first sight, and want a relationship quickly and early. They will want to be exclusive right away and insist the relationship move at a fast pace. They will want their victim to themselves at all times, and have an unrealistic expectation that the victim should not be spending any time with friends or family. The abuser will make the victim feel guilty for wanting to spend even one moment away from the relationship. This is the beginning of isolation and control. The abuser might say they are just concerned about the victim, which is why they are controlling. However this crosses the line and only is giving the abuser more power.

The victim’s personality changes.

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People may begin to notice that a once happy, bubbly person has become very shy, quiet and isolated. This is because the victim is scared of the abuser, and may feel a sense of depression and hopelessness. Friends and family may also notice that a victim has developed a very low self-esteem over time because they feel a sense of powerlessness. They may even turn to passive-aggressive behaviors, because they feel they have no other outlet to let out their hurt and pain. Rather than telling others what they want, the express anger or frustration in an aggressive manner (such as burning dinner, or not completing a report on time for their boss).

The victim has many excuses.

In some cases, the victim will have signs of physical abuse in obvious places. The victim will be quick to give excuses for the injuries and brush them off as if they are nothing. When there are frequent injuries seen by others, the victim may talk about being clumsy, or have elaborate stories of how the injuries occurred. In addition, the victim will have many excuses about why they may be late or missing school, work, or scheduled appointments with friends and family. The victim could be isolating themselves even further for fear that the abuser will get mad at them. When these excuses start to get excessive, it could be signs of something more serious going on at home.

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