7 Things Never to Say to Churchgoers Who Struggle with Depression

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published a 2011 report showing that 11 percent of Americans aged 12 years and over take antidepressants. That’s 1 in 10 people. That’s 1 in 10 in your workplace, in your family, and yes—even in your church.

The church is a vital component of healing for believers with depression. The Christian church, for many, is the largest source of community and fellowship in their lives, yet, it often misunderstands the nature of depression, and fails to react appropriately to those who suffer from it. Depressed churchgoers may be overlooked, bullied, or ostracized for their illness, even when Christ set the opposite example. Scripture is the greatest road map we have to living a Christian life, and shows us how to react to brokenness. Read on, and find seven things never to say to churchgoers who struggle with depression, and why.

"You’re depressed because your faith isn’t strong enough."

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Jesus is the divine Son of the God of the universe—no man could have more faith than him. And yet, in Luke 22:42, when the weight of His sacrifice rested heavily upon him, He cried out to God, asking the Father to “take this cup from me.” Jesus was acquainted with grief, despite His perfect faith.

Jesus may not have been depressed, as we know it today, but in this passage, we see that great faith does not preclude grief, sadness, terror, or any other negative emotional state. We are called to have faith despite suffering, not necessarily to alleviate it. As it did in Christ, negative emotions and faith can reside within the same mind.

"There’s no proof that depression is a real illness."

Depression is often called an invisible illness. There are no physical signs that allow someone to be singled out as depressed. The scars materialize in the mind rather than in the flesh, but are no less real. Romans 8: 22-23 reads, "For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." Sin has infiltrated every part of creation; none of it works as intended because the world in which we dwell is a fallen one, and will remain so until the return of Christ. The moment Adam and Eve were cast out of Eden, entropy entered our world, our bodies, and our minds. Why would it be unlikely that our brains, a part of our fallen bodies, might not always work as intended, as well?

Depression is the very real result of a number of factors, including abuse, loss, genetics, substance abuse, and serious illness, all of which can cause well-studied, physical changes in the brain, as described in this Harvard Health Publications article. If a church member discloses their depression to you, do not simply write it off. Recognize what a serious and deadly disease it is, and go to their aid.

"Depression is a result of unconfessed sin."

Not every malady is the result of sin. Jesus, in John 16:33, says that “In this world you will have trouble.” He never says that those who sin are guaranteed suffering in life. He never says that those who are blameless are guaranteed happiness. He simply says that there will be trouble for all.

To reiterate, depression has numerous causes. One source is abuse, for example. No one would tell a victim of abuse that her grief is the result of her own sin. Yes—sin can sometimes be the genesis of depression, such as with substance abuse, but the physical and chemical changes that keep someone in depression can persist long after sin is confessed and atoned for.

Take care not to assume that a churchgoer’s depression is linked to sin. To do so may only cause them to blame themselves, worsening their condition.

"All you need is the Bible."

This admonition is particularly troublesome, if only because it seems, at first glance, that scripture supports it. If we look closely, however, we can see differently. Take Matthew 14: 13-21, for example, wherein Jesus feeds the 5000 with "fives loaves of bread and two fish." Jesus provided for this crowd—just as God provides for all humankind—but note that Jesus did so through means of fish and bread. These men and women could not physically survive on scripture alone—they needed food to eat.

Just as the body needs food, the mind has external needs as well. Scripture is a guide to Christian life, and is the path of the soul, but our fallen, physical bodies also need the help that God provides for us in the creation He has placed us within.

Encourage the depressed to seek outside help if they need to do so.

"You don’t need medicine."

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Few words are more destructive than these. Untreated, depression can lead to a downward spiral ending in job loss, isolation, and even death. The fear of modern medicine is often rooted in the belief that we should rely on God, alone, to heal our ailments, but many forget that God works in myriad ways.

God gave man dominion over the natural world, giving us “every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of the earth.” All medicines began as chemicals, isolated from plants and animals, that work to alleviate disease. Over time, through medical research, we can now artificially create those chemicals—but their origin is still wholly natural. God gave us their blueprints. He gave us medicine, and gifted us with minds that can create and improve.

To ignore medicine is to ignore the fullness of God’s gifts to us. Encourage depressed churchgoers, pray with them, and pray for them, but do not fail to seek the help of the best counselors and doctors. We are all complex combinations of body and soul, and both must be treated.

"Just praise God, and it will go away."

The hard truth is that we are called to praise God whether or not our ailments go away. This is the nature of faith—believing in and loving God in good times, and in bad. Job, in Job 1:21, after enduring his famous hardships, observes that “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” God is to be praised, no matter what storm we may be weathering.

To tell someone that praising God will always take away their suffering is to invite discouragement. God is not a vending machine in which praise is inserted and blessings fall out. We must also act. For the church, this means comforting the depressed and providing a safe community for them, and for the depressed, this means seeking outside help.

Living with Depression