From "The Force of Kindness: Change your life with love and compassion" by Sharon Salzberg:

We can easily go from morning until night caught in self pre-occupation, nearly constantly thinking, “How do they view me? Does he like me more than he likes her? Am I winning? Am I a complete loser? Am I revealing too much?”

People often find some difficulty in caring for themselves, in receiving love, in believing they deserve to be happy. Developing care towards ourselves with the power of concentration is the first objective, the foundation for later being able to include others and finally all of life in the sphere of kindness.

Ways of Developing Kindness Toward Ourselves

  • Spend some time consciously reflecting on the good you've done, or a good quality you have. ·
  • Remember a time you made a mistake. What qualities help you learn to act differently? What qualities stifle the creative urge to change? ·
  • If you see anger, fear, or similar states arising in your mind, and you find yourself reacting to them as "bad" or "wrong," purposefully translate that response to "painful' or "suffering." See what changes. ·
  • Reflect on what the middle way might look like for you in a particular endeavor, relationship, or challenge. ·
  • Devote some time each day to self-care. Can you spend 15 or 20 minutes doing something to be kind to yourself?
  • Develop and practice a loving-kindness meditation for yourself
  • more from beliefnet and our partners
    Close Ad