Life is 10 percent how you make it and 90 percent how you take it.
-Irving Berlin

From "I'd Rather Do Chemo than Clean Out the Garage" by Fran Di Giacomo:

  • Your doctor has opened a satellite office on the beach in Tahiti.

  • The chemo clinic was completely outfitted in gold-plated IV poles in your honor.

  • You were asked to hold the scissors at the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the new hospital.

  • There's a bronze statue of you in the hospital lobby.

  • The Fed lowers interest rates to help you cover your debt.

  • Your hospital bills are etched in crystal and mounted on marble pedestals.
  • Your nurses are adored with uniforms handmade in Italy.

  • The valet at the medical center bought fuzzy dice for your car.

  • Your spouse has a vibrating recliner in the hospital's waiting room.

  • The hospital installed a curbside "Express Check-In Booth" just for you.

  • You qualified for the National Disaster Relief Fund.

  • Your insurance company sent you a DO-IT-YOURSELF MEDICAL KIT, complete with scalpel, sutures, and drop cloths.
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