Life is 10 percent how you make it and 90 percent how you take it. -Irving Berlin

From "I'd Rather Do Chemo than Clean Out the Garage" by Fran Di Giacomo:

Your doctor has opened a satellite office on the beach in Tahiti.

The chemo clinic was completely outfitted in gold-plated IV poles in your honor.

You were asked to hold the scissors at the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the new hospital.

There's a bronze statue of you in the hospital lobby.

The Fed lowers interest rates to help you cover your debt.

Your hospital bills are etched in crystal and mounted on marble pedestals.

Your nurses are adored with uniforms handmade in Italy.

The valet at the medical center bought fuzzy dice for your car.

Your spouse has a vibrating recliner in the hospital's waiting room.

The hospital installed a curbside "Express Check-In Booth" just for you.

You qualified for the National Disaster Relief Fund.

Your insurance company sent you a DO-IT-YOURSELF MEDICAL KIT, complete with scalpel, sutures, and drop cloths.