Make Your Own Community
One of the reasons married people win the happy contest, at least according to social experiments and polls, is that marriage (and families) become small communities. And human beings thrive in communities. In his book Bowling Alone, Harvard professor Robert Putman writes about the deterioration in American culture today of social connections--civic groups, bridge clubs, bowling leagues--and sites a variety of different studies that underscore the emotional and physical health benefits gained by hanging out in groups and participating in a community.
So when a family breaks up, it's important that you replace the family with another community. If you're not a support group kind of person, then invest your energy in a few friendships that can give you the feedback, comfort, and companionship you need at this difficult time. And consider this: even if you don't become a permanent member, support groups can help you connect with people on important topics like how to talk to your children about the divorce, coping with unsupportive family members, accessing when it's time to start dating, making the right financial decisions, and learning about divorce laws and your rights. There are divorce groups here in Beliefnet's Community, or you can start the conversation in Group Beyond Blue.
