Trying to Catch the Positive, Drop the Negative

I have a teensy problem, like there may be a hole in my actual brain: I remember every horrible, mean, or marginally rude comment anyone has ever said to me. Pretty much perfect, crystalline recall. Verbatim. And the positive things–which I’m fairly certain outnumber the negative by about 10 to one…What? Did you say something?

The compliments and admiration and acknowledgments drop out of my brain almost as soon as they’re put there. I’m sure there’s a name for this cognitive trend, but for now, let’s just call it Negativitis. And it might be the single most damaging mental habit I have–to both myself and anyone I encounter. It ensures that I feel bad about myself–and people who feel badly about themselves often have an awfully hard time complimenting, admiring, and acknowledging other people.

I’m interested in stopping the madess. If you are too, let’s try these tips together.

Play the Pick-a-Happy-Face Game

When you’re waiting on a line or in a crowd of people at a fair or the mall or walking down the street, see if you can find the happiest people. Don’t overthink it. Just scan for smiles. There are back-up studies for this that show it retrains your brain for noticing more positivity. And that’s the beautiful thing–once we see and feel the positive thinsg here right this very second–stashed in your memory, your inbox, or in a face just outside the window–we start feeling better about ourselves. And, as Marianne Williamson says: “…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”