Seven Self-Compassionate Strategies to Experience Sadness

Many of us have a hard time experiencing sadness. We ignore it, hoping it’ll go away. Or we stuff it down with unhealthy habits.

“Sadness hurts!” said Polly Campbell, author of Imperfect Spirituality: Extraordinary Enlightenment for Ordinary People. “Studies show it can even cause physical pain and heartache.” Sadness also is a vulnerable feeling, said psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. We may not want to experience it, because it’s connected to deeper-seated feelings of grief and loss, she said. For instance, one client couldn’t process her feelings about a breakup, because it meant tapping into her sorrow about her parents’ separation. However, you can ease into experiencing your sadness. Here are seven self-compassionate suggestions.

Find the Gift in Sadness

Campbell lost her cat after 16 years. She was devastated. “I miss him every day.” However, she realized that her profound sadness was also an expression of her profound love for him. “If I didn’t feel sadness for his loss it would have meant that he didn’t have an impact on my life and he certainly did.” This also helps Campbell shift into a loving space. “I can focus on how much I loved him, rather than how sad I feel. I can put my attention on gratitude and what I gained, instead of what I lost – this feels better.” What is the gift in your sadness? Experiencing sadness can be a prickly or even painful process. The key is to get curious about what you’re feeling and move through it with compassion. As Campbell said, “Allow [sadness] in. Our emotions hold important clues and insights that can help guide us through this life.”