How Do I Love Me? 10 Questions to Ask Yourself

So many of us were taught to put everyone else’s needs before our own. People even quote the Bible as proof—Mark 12:31 to be exact, where we are told the second greatest Commandment is: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Indeed, we must love our neighbors, but the real problem starts when you forget the last two words of that verse, “as yourself.” If you treat yourself shabbily, well, your neighbor doesn’t stand a chance.

Patrice Gaines is an author, motivational speaker, spiritual counselor and intuitive. Please visit her on the web at www.PatriceGaines.com, on YouTube at TheLightChanneler or on Twitter, @PatriceGaines.com.

Judgment

Do I trust my own judgment? You have to walk the walk and talk the talk, as the adage goes. If you believe you are created in the image of God and that God imbues you with a spirit that can fill you with wisdom and intuition, then you must learn to trust your judgment. We often admire other people because we believe they are smarter or wiser than we are. Good judgment on some days may mean asking for advice. But on others, it means knowing you have the answer. There is a process by which we can all learn: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2). Trust the process!

Saving Others

Do I try to save everybody? So many people suffer from this that it deserves to be a question we sincerely ask ourselves. People get confused about “being a good Christian” and honoring the fact that everyone has a journey of their own. I spoke at a gathering of women recently and several were challenged, even to the point of suffering from health problems, because they had spent themselves trying to save someone else.

One woman admitted she was following the example set by her mother. Really, when we try to save people we are playing God. We are also saying, “I know God is looking out for me, but God may not help this person.” Rubbish! You can offer advice when asked, show encouragement and share information, but the truth is you can’t save anybody. Again, there’s a wonderful process already established by which each of us has an opportunity to make choices that can change our lives. Respect that process and the Holy Spirit that created it.

Forgiveness

Do I forgive myself? It’s easy to know you have forgiven yourself for those major “mistakes.” We usually deal with those because they can’t be ignored. But how about the nagging doubts and ways in which we undermine our power because we’ve developed a grudge against ourselves that comes from blaming ourselves for one “small” thing after another, for being our harshest critic. I’m talking about things that accumulate until they become a major criticism of you. It’s these incidents that make you believe “I am not a good cook (because I always burn everything),” “I am a bad daughter (because I didn’t take my mother to her doctor’s appointment),” “I’m stupid (because everyone in the office knows I made that mistake on that report),” and on and on… Stop it! God is love—and you deserve to experience that every day of your life.