8 Habits of Unhappy People (And How to Avoid Them)

Happiness comes in a lot of forms and it can be hard to define. However unhappiness is easy to identify. You know when you see it, you know when it’s taken ahold of your mood, and you know when you feel it.

Unhappiness is a terrible feeling that is lethal to everyone around you. It spreads easily and brings down the positive vibes of others. Why do we ignore the high levels of negativity? Happiness tends to be something that people think is out of their control; however it is the complete opposite.

Happiness has very little to do with life circumstance. Happiness is under your control. Happiness is the product of your habits and outlook on life. Poor habits and looking at the world through a depressive lens will result in unhappiness. Positive coping mechanisms and a general optimistic outlook on life will result in happiness. Break the poor habits now and achieve your happiness sooner!

Waiting for the Future

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One surefire way to keep yourself unhappy is by focusing on a future that isn’t attainable. Telling yourself “I will be happy when…” is one of the easiest habits to fall into. It does not matter how you end the statement (better job, new relationship, or something similar). The statement puts too much emphasis on circumstances and improved circumstances do not lead to happiness. It’s important to not spend your time waiting for something that’s proven to have no effect on your mood. Instead, focus on learning to be happy right now, in the present moment. Be mindful of all the things around you and list things you are grateful for today.

Constant Complaining

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Happy people know that complaining about situations won’t do any good nor will it change the problem you’re facing. Happy people realize that to fix something you have to take action, not complain about it. People who are constantly complaining give off a negative energy that affects the moods of everyone around them. If you are someone that has the default belief that life is hard and out of your control, you may be seeing yourself as a victim. This is a problem where the person will feel helpless. Instead of focusing on how unfair or awful a situation is, think of a way to turn it around. Look for the positives, do not play yourself as a victim, and think of ways to take appropriate action.

Gossiping

People who gossip are constantly causing insecurity and unhappiness in themselves and those they talk to. When someone is not satisfied with their own life they will focus on the lives of others. They look to find the most negative things to say about others so that they feel better about themselves. They may feel jealous and harbor resentment towards a person they see as having a better life than them. Constantly comparing your life to someone else’s will only lead to depression. A happy and confidence person, however, has no need to gossip. If one is truly happy, they are focusing on all the positive things in their own life instead of trying to bring others down. They know that good luck and circumstances are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve.

Blowing Problems Out of Proportion

Bad things happen to everyone, it is a basic fact of life. There is a huge difference in how unhappy and happy people react to negative problem, however. A happy person will see the problem for what it is – a temporary bummer or sad moment in their life. Whereas an unhappy person will see anything negative as further evidence that life is out to get them. They react pessimistically and take the situation personally. A happy person is upset if they have a fender bender on the way to work, but they keep things in perspective: “What a hassle, but at least it wasn’t more serious.” An unhappy person, on the other hand, uses it as proof that the day, the week, the month, maybe even their whole life, is doomed.

Being Critical

True self-love can take a long time to develop but we cannot be truly happy without it. By realizing that your self-worth contributes greatly to your happiness will allow you to be more comfortable and confident in your own skin. That confidence radiates to others! Those with low self-confidence are more likely to look for an outlet to help them feel better, and typically these vices are detrimental. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, or engaging in unsafe sexual behaviors are all ways that further deepen our unhappiness. These people look at all of their flaws and feel they have a lifetime of regrets. Focus on the root of your unhappiness and begin to do positive things that make you feel better. Treat yourself like you treat your very best friend – kindly and with love.