7 Ways Defunk Yourself

7 Ways to De-Funk Yourself

By Therese J. Borchard

The definition of FUNK: “to shrink from in fright or dread.” Oh yeah, and “a state of severe depression.” I like to think of it as the Diet Coke of depression … some of the same discomfort, symptoms, yuck, but also not the intense wrestling belonging to our friend, depression. When you’re in one, all you know if that you want the hell out. You want things to change … but not sure which ones. Since I am in this place much more often than I want to be, I have come up with my own tools with which I try to dig myself out.

Therese J. Borchard is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. You may find her at her personal blog, her website, or you may follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.

Fill in the Space

I adore this quote by Viktor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” I learned of Frankl’s words of wisdom through a master of mindfulness, Elisha Goldstein, who explains that within those few seconds after something happens, we have option to make up a whole new story, one that won’t shrink as many brain cells as the message I usually relay. Sometimes I’m too tired to write a new script, so I simply extend that time between my reaction and the response and try not to think about anything with my primitive brain, which is prepped to say, “disaster … tragedy … calamity.”

Take Two!

You have a thought: “I hate my life.” And then you get another chance! “I hate my life so much.” Now consider some ways this thought is distorted. First, it’s an overgeneralization. Just a tad. And it’s pretty black or white. And involves emotional reasoning, not clear reasoning. There are lots of ways you can untwist the thought, like examining the evidence (that’s if your life doesn’t suck) and talking to yourself as you would a friend (“I promise your life doesn’t suck as badly as mine”). Let’s keep on doing this exercise, much like we were on a movie set until we get the right lines. The great news is that you are not stuck with that first thought. You don’t have to take it home like a swimsuit you tried on without the liner. You can get the thought wrong as many times as it happens. There is always another take.

Name the Feelings

My vocabulary for my feelings contains three words: “bad,” “worse,” and “ouch!” So my therapist decided to expand it a tad and sent me home with a sheet of emoticons listing -- I kid you not, 50 different feelings on one side alone. There are four emotions that start with the letter A alone: angry, annoyed, anxious apologetic. This exercise was helpful to circle the emotions that I’m truly feeling so that I had an accurate, or let’s say “sophisticated” knowledge of my discomfort. Now I can say that I’m peeved in six different ways, and I also know what next steps I may need to do to feel better. For example, if I realize that I am actually hurt by something my mother said – not just depressed in general about my life – I can decide whether or not I want to confront her. Of course, should I do that, I will need to go back to my paper of emoticons and circle a few more.

Let Go of Choices

Funk almost rhymes with stuck. Throw in an “n” and we’re cool. Funks are often a result of being stuck between choices and opportunities. We are blessed to have choices, But the opportunities themselves actually create stress and anxiety, especially for the introspective kind that are prone to depression. Saying no to one option is a kind of death. To prove that I’m not being melodramatic, I will cite Dan Ariely, professor of behavioral economics at MIT and author of Predictably Irrational, who says there is wisdom in closing a few doors, even if doing so feels counter-intuitive. He conducted a series of experiments where hundreds of students could not bear to let their options vanish. Dr. Ariely advises students and readers that by closing the door to options, we free ourselves from undue stress and burden. And sometimes just acknowledging the pressure and difficulty of that place of deciding and deliberating and weighing options can give us relief.

Stop Multitasking

According to performance coach Heidi Hanna, Ph.D., we spend only 10 percent of our time in the current moment, 50 percent anticipating what’s ahead of us, and 40 percent looking back. Although most of us brag about our ability to multitask, the research actually says folks who completed two simultaneous tasks took up to 30 percent longer and made twice a many mistakes as those who completed the same tasks in sequence. But inefficiency isn’t the only drawback of texting in a lecture or at work, multitasking also creates higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone responsible for most funks. In her book, The Sharp Solution, Dr. Hanna cites the findings of researchers at Reuters who found that two-thirds of respondents said that information overload had damaged their personal relationships and one-third believed it had damaged their health.