They fool you.
Narcissists are experts at flattery – they fool others with their flattering words. They want other people to think that they’re better, more attractive, more interesting and smarter than everyone else. And in the initial phases of a relationship they tend to tell whoever they’re dating that he or she is wonderful, attractive, interesting and smart, because they think that it reflects well on them: they’re marvelous, so they choose marvelous partners. The trouble is that they can’t deal with the inevitable result of what that proves: your development of affection for them. So what do they do? They flip the script. The minute you start getting close to them, the fear of exposing their intrinsic lack of lovability starts to kick in and they’ll begin to push you away, leaving you confused, upset and in pain.