We unfortunately all struggle with negative emotional attachments. They can happen due to insecurity, the inability to move on, or a lack of belief that the negative event won’t happen again. Instead of learning how to let these pressures go, we avoid connection with ourselves and those around us. We begin to block others from making new spiritual, emotional and physical connections with us in fear of getting hurt again and our inability to let go of the past hurt.
Luckily, these emotions do not have to control you forever. You will be able to recover from your past emotional attachments in a healthy way that will lead you to be a happier person. You can break free from the constant feeling of being trapped by your emotional past.
Erase Old Thought Patterns
From the time that we are born, our brains are programmed based on our genetics and environment. Many people do not realize that they hold a lot of the same though process they had when they were just a child. Were you raised to have a more cynical view of the world? Were you taught the proper way to handle emotions? These thought patterns that shaped you growing up also shape how you interpret the world and events around you as an adult. Often, you have to clear negative thought patterns by working with a professional. For example, if you often fall into a pessimistic view of the world it could be helpful to identify why they occur in the first place.
Secure Your Self-Worth by Learning Who You Are
Establishing your self-worth is a great tool to help heal your emotional wounds. Daily affirmations, mantras and other self-love activities will help you regain strength within yourself. This, in turn, helps you gain the confidence to let go of control. When you love yourself, you are more resilient when things that are out of your control impact you.
Becoming happier with yourself comes from self-discovery. Who are you? What are your interests and passions? When we are insecure, we tend to latch onto old emotional ties in order to try and fulfill our self-worth. Loving yourself, being comfortable in your morals and values, and having a clear outlook on your future will help you let go of any co-dependent ties you may be having. You will be able to fulfill your own heart through the things that matter to you.
Put Your Energy into Other Outlets
To overcome emotional attachments, you may have to take time to become aware of how your emotions manifest in your body. For example, you may be an emotional eater or struggle with self-harm behavior. By shifting your awareness to these issues, you will be able to identify healthier alternatives to move toward a more positive stronger state. An emotional eater may find that fully immersing themselves in meditation and other physical activities can help them release their compulsion to eat emotionally. It’s important to find healthy ways to handle emotions properly instead of letting them manifest into self-detrimental behaviors.
Let Go and Practice Forgiveness
This is actually much easier than most are led to believe. Holding on to the past is very destructive as emotional attachments are often the result of holding on to anger, sadness and resentment. Forgiveness is about accepting what has happened and allowing growth to take place instead. Forgiveness is only for yourself. Letting go of old wounds allows space for new lessons to be learned. You could start by repeating phrases each morning such as “today, I use my emotions to my best intent” or the easier “I’m letting go.” The simple changes in how you perceive your feelings will stick and let you move forward.
Find a Good Support System
Know that you are never the only one that is struggling to dump emotional baggage. Everyone struggles with holding unresolved emotional pain at various times and has to learn how to deal with them properly. If you know you are struggling, reach out to get help. Friends and family are great resources to serve you. Professional help is also a great option, because they will give you unbiased, qualified advice to help you identify your problems.
Acknowledge the Feeling and How it Got There
One of the most important steps in letting go is acknowledging your feelings and negative emotions. If you are one to sweep their emotions under the rug, you may find yourself being easily triggered and having your emotions come out at inappropriate times.
How did your feelings start? It can be painful to take this next step, however it helps to identify the situations that set you off and work out alternative options. For example, if you are holding on to anger from a past abusive relationship you may have ignored or made justifications for how you felt. This can cause a repeated cycle, where you put yourself back into these poor life situations. By acknowledging that you were hurt and identifying where this hurt came from will allow you to stay away from the same type of relationships. This begins your pathway to move forward from the emotional baggage.
Focus on How You Would Like to Feel Instead
Another way to move forward is focusing on how you would like to feel instead.This can take practice, but you can train your brain to think more positively. Knowing why you feel the way you do and having the skill to change it is certainly one tool worth learning. Be your own support system in this scenario! Give yourself love and kindness when you begin to feel negative or when your emotions are weighing you down. Tell yourself, “I know I feel sad, however I would like to feel another way instead and not be held down by past emotions.” With continued dedication, your brain will default to thinking more positively.
Sometimes, we are put through emotional pain which shatters the image we have of ourselves in order to discover two truths: we are not who we thought we were and that loss of something we perceived as positive does not equate to loss of happiness and well-being. You have the ability to recreate, reprogram and reset your spiritual, emotional and physical body. It takes courage, self-awareness and dedication to providing yourself with love and acceptance. These wounds do not have to define who you are, but it’s up to you to explore and release the fragments of the past.