7 Steps to Reconnect With Yourself

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Sometimes due to circumstances, a big life change, the dissolving of a long-term relationship, a health issue, or other reasons we realize we have lost touch with our true self. During these times we often experience feeling frustrated, scared for the future, anxious, unfulfilled and stuck. We feel lost because at some point we became disconnected from who we really are. This often occurs as adults try to fit themselves into societal norms, relationship expectations or are just trying to survive to such a degree that there is not the capacity to focus on anything else. To protect ourselves we may tuck away our true nature and shut the door so we can just get through what we need to get through.

At some point most of us realize we need to reconnect with ourselves, start loving ourselves and move forward. Allowing ourselves to remain disconnected and stuck in the pain of the past will not help us to achieve the love and happiness we so desire. It is at this point in time that we need to make a conscious choice to shift our perspective and reconnect to our true nature, our true self. Each of us has the power to change within us. Each time we take responsibility for ourselves through a conscious action that aligns us with who we really are through expressing our passions, strengths, values and desires, we become more whole. To do this we must stop searching outside ourselves for love and fulfillment and reconnect to our inner being to rediscover and remember who we are. The following steps are important actions we can take to do just that.

Self-Acceptance

Accepting self is so important. Now that you have been honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, accept that this is where you are right now. Be kind to yourself. There are reasons, circumstances and experiences that have brought you to be who you are today. Explore those. While you may have areas for improvement you also have many positive characteristics, strengths, abilities things others admire about you. Be honest with yourself about those too. Own your greatness as much as you own your weaknesses. You are the whole package, the sum of the parts. You are exactly who you need to be right now. Accept yourself so that you can then move forward and make improvements in the areas you desire in order to reach your goals.

Focus on the Positive

We all carry some degree of self-hatred, however to focus on those feelings is not healthy or helpful. Focus on loving self-thoughts and positive affirmations. Notice your thoughts. When you find yourself mentally beating up on you, stop! Pull out a positive affirmation and start repeating it. Consciously change your thinking. Your subconscious mind will accept anything you tell it. Think big! Think Positive! Slow down your pace, meditate and express compassion toward yourself. In your meditative moments, find a place of calm and peace within you and you will find calm and peace will start to surround you. Reach out and expand this peace and love to others in your life. What you focus your attention on will expand in your life. Focus on the positive.

Cut Yourself Some Slack

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Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of the learning process. We are all here to evolve and learn. Part of the learning process is to make mistakes. None of us are perfect. No one goes through life without pain. Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up for past thoughts, words and actions. Stop judging yourself so harshly. You are not the first one to have made that mistake and certainly will not be the last. Learn the lesson. Move on, let go and resolve to do better next time. If you are struggling releasing guilt over something you did in the past write it down and then burn it as a symbolic release of the mistake and of the guilt. Each of us does the best we can based on our level of understanding at the time. Let go and move forward.

Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin

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Schedule some alone time for yourself and practice being comfortable in your own skin. Turn off the television, disconnect from the internet and the phone. Stop using external stimulus as distractions from having to learn to be with yourself or in fact just be. Plan routine alone time for periods of meditation, contemplation and introspection. Be mindful of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs you have about yourself and explore the reasons behind these while you are contemplating. Identify the obstacles you are facing that are preventing you from loving and reconnecting with yourself. What is causing these obstacles? How can you work through them? Get to know your true nature. Ask yourself who are you at the core of your being. What are the top 3 deeply held characteristics that define who you are, even if you do not show those characteristics to others? Love yourself, all of your parts, and embrace who you are. Get comfortable with you and learn to enjoy spending time with yourself.

Be Grateful

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Gratitude is a powerful practice. Every morning count your blessings by implementing a gratitude practice. Write in a gratitude journal at least 5 things you are grateful for each day. Make at least one of those things something specifically about who you are, a characteristic, a quality, an improvement, a lesson learned. Be proud of who you are and be grateful for the things that have made you the person you are today, no matter how painful those experiences may have been at the time. If there is something you do not like about yourself, examine it and find the silver lining. How can this negative also be a positive? Shift your perspective and become grateful for that characteristic.

Help Others

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Nothing helps us shift our energy faster than being of service to another. Volunteer at a food bank or shelter. Set a goal to practice random acts of kindness daily by doing small and large things to help those in your family, your neighborhood, and your community. Share yourself with others you will find it helps you just as much as it helps them. As you give of yourself to another you share love which results in experiencing a sense of fulfillment. When you are feeling fulfilled you can be your true self and realize you do not need another to complete you. You are complete. You are enough just the way you are. Through helping another you are also being the best caretaker of you.

No matter what you have recently been through that caused you to lose yourself, now is the time to pick up the pieces and rediscover who you are. We each possess the ability to change our life’s trajectory within us. Use these steps to assess where you are, reconnect and take positive steps forward. The past is the past. Let it go and move forward. Many amazing experiences and opportunities await you if you choose to move forward. Periodically revisit these steps to keep you aligned and connected to your true nature. Keep your focus on the positive and love yourself. Remember no outside source can make you feel happy and fulfilled. Those experiences come from within. By being true to yourself you are then able to experience your life’s dreams and desires with tremendous passion and joy.