6 Things to Stop Feeling Guilty About Immediately

“Guilt is to the spirit as pain is to the body” -Elder David A. Bedna

Guilt is such a strong word but many people, especially women, feel guilt more often than not. Guilt can be defined as "feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy". It makes us feel inadequate or that we aren’t doing enough for something, someone, or ourselves.

Guilt is a useless emotion since it doesn't promote much positivity and motivation. Instead, it can promote negativity, weakness, fatigue and even resentment of oneself and others.

People can feel a sense of inadequacy because they are trying to be perfect in every area of life. They feel torn about how and where to spend their time, energy and money. This causes overwhelm, anxiety and an overall shadow of guilt over daily life. This constant guilt can be paralyzing and create feelings of shame.

Feeling guilty causes stress to the physical body and mind, which can cause health concerns. When we realize we are doing the best we can and stop putting so much pressure on ourselves, we can lessen our guilt and negative emotions.

Once we let go of guilt, we feel a weight lifted off of our shoulders and can focus more on the present moment.

Here are a few things you need to stop feeling guilty about immediately so you can live a more joyful and free life.

Self-Care

Many people, especially women are used to not putting themselves and their self-care first. They take care of kids, partners, parents, co-workers, and friends before they take a much-deserved break and create their own self-care ritual. Honestly, you aren’t able to help everyone, all the time. You are only human and if you continue to constantly help others and never help yourself, you aren’t doing anyone any favors. You may begin to feel resentful, depleted and moody when you feel like you are doing everything all the time. You may also be enabling without knowing it! If you quickly jump to help others, they begin to rely on you rather than learning to problem-solve themselves. You also deserve to go for a walk, go to a dance class, read a book, paint or take a bath more often. Ask for help such as someone to babysit your kids or delegate projects at work. Do not feel guilty about taking this time for yourself. You will feel refreshed, motivated and happier the less guilty you feel.

Donations

We are aware that there are causes all around the world that need our attention. Especially with technology, we see sad news about children, animals and people going through sickness more often than we ever have. We may see a cause and feel guilty because we want to donate to it even though we just donated to another cause last week. It’s absolutely important for us to help with our time, energy and money however possible. We would hope people would help us if we needed it. However, we cannot feel guilty if we are unable to donate to every cause that is in front of us. Set a budget of how much you would like to contribute monthly or yearly and choose causes that mean the most to you. If you’re an animal lover, find an organization where you value their mission. If you love kids, donate to a local charity that helps children develop physically and emotionally. If you love the elderly, donate to a nursing home you admire. If you don’t have the budget to donate money, find a local cause or event where you can donate a few hours of your time when possible. Stop feeling guilty that you can’t help every cause. Do what you can and let it go.

Your Past

We all have most likely felt a sense of guilt for one or more situations in our past. We can hold on tightly to experiences that have left us feeling guilty. Maybe you argued with someone and never forgave one another. Maybe you stole a candy bar from the store as a kid. Maybe you cheated on an exam or your partner. Maybe you didn’t visit your grandparents as much as you think you should have. Whatever it is, it is now in the past and there is nothing you can do about it besides learn from it. It may be time to set conflict in the past and either forgive someone in person or in your head. Spend time with the ones you love since you may have missed that chance in the past. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you feel you made. It is time to let go so you can move forward and feel free from that heaviness and darkness.

Messy Home

Many of us desire to have a perfectly clean home. We wish all the dishes and laundry were done and there was no dirt or clutter. We feel guilty if someone visits and our house isn’t in tip-top shape. However, if you home is meticulous all the time, it may mean you are either spending a lot of hours cleaning or you aren’t using it to create memories. If you have dirty dishes, it may mean you are making healthy meals for your family. If you have piles of laundry, it may mean you work out and take care of your body. If you have pet hair in the corners of the rooms, it may mean you have happy pets that you adore. It is nice to have uncluttered space and a clean home, but maybe it doesn’t have to be perfectly clean every day. Maybe you let go of tidying up at night and instead use that time to read the book that has been sitting on your nightstand for six months. You don’t need to live in filth, but maybe you let go of it being perfect and use your home for more laughter and fun.

Perfect Parenting

Many moms struggle with trying to be the perfect parent. They feel they are in constant conflict trying to determine if they should breastfeed, co-sleep, hire a nanny, have strict rules, and on and on. They are easily able to compare their parenting with others online. They may be told they should sleep train their infant. They may see a photo of a mom making all her toddler’s organic baby food. They may feel they should do more with their children instead of working. Other mothers may give advice, not realizing that there is already a guilt and pressure a mom feels. She is in a constant state of worry while trying to determine what makes sense for her family. That guilt can feel extremely discouraging at any hour of the day. Do your own research and realize that your child and your family are unique and perfection does not exist. There is no exact right way to do the whole parenting thing, so just trust that your kids are getting what they need, especially your unconditional love and positivity. This will be a better way to lead your household rather than looking panicked and confused all the time!

Living Your Purpose

Imagine yourself as a child with big dreams. Did you want to be an actress or a dancer or a train conductor? Did you love music, art, or getting dirty? Did you want to see the world? We all deserve to live our purpose in one way or another. It can be through your career, hobbies or while traveling. Many of us feel guilty because we didn’t fulfill our childhood dreams. We may have a mundane job that doesn’t bring us much joy or we may not have taken a vacation in years. Maybe we fill our time with chores rather than hobbies we used to enjoy. We may feel stressed and overwhelmed because we aren’t doing anything that brings us joy. Whatever you feel your purpose is, do more of it. Don’t let another five years go by feeling guilty about not fulfilling some of your desires. You will become a role-model for others who want to release their fear and do more of what they love.