5 Reasons a Narcissist Can’t Stay in Love

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While the term narcissism is usually used loosely, it is a very serious disorder. According to WebMD, narcissism is the tendency to think very highly of yourself and to have little or no regard for others. Narcissists tend to be selfish, vain and have a constant need for attention. Those with narcissistic tendencies are constantly looking for ways to gain more attention and approval from those around them. These characteristics often intensify in their relationships. What makes them particularly dangerous is their blatant disregard for other’s feelings. They simply don’t care about them. They are convinced that they are special and that the world revolves around them. They make their partners their victims. When others don’t acknowledge their needs, they feel the impact. Narcissistic behavior is not only real, but is also considered a serious mental disorder. Narcissists are also experts at flattery, fooling others with their words and actions. They can calculatedly get a person to buy into their view of themselves – that they are attractive, smart, interesting or whatever they want to project to the world. Then, just as quickly, they can flip the script, leaving you hurt and confused which in the end will either leave you desperate for their love or push you away, leaving you feeling broken. Here are five reasons a narcissist can’t stay in love.

They Don’t Really Care About How Another Person Feels

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Narcissists often hurt and damage the people that are closes to them more than they realize or even care to. They can’t care because they’re incapable of it. Unless the people that are closes to them choose to distance themselves, the cycle of pain and abuse will continue. Those who choose to stay will have to get used to the idea that they’re not allowed to express emotions. They will find themselves walking on eggshells all the time to keep their narcissistic partner happy and keep from getting attacked. If you try to call them out for hurting you, they will figure out a way to spin it on you. By the end, their partner will feel bad for even saying anything.

Nothing is Ever Good Enough

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A narcissist is an “I always need more” kind of person. They are unable to hold onto anything you’ve offered. They will beg you to say something helpful or comforting one day, but then needs you to say it all over again the next day and the following day. It will eventually exhaust you and put a major strain on the relationship. You will also discover when dating a narcissist is that there are not two people in the relationship, only one. You can try to satisfy their needs, but you find yourself never truly pleasing them. Eventually, you begin to feel like a failure. You may even feel like you don’t deserve to be with them. This isn’t love. It’s a game. The more you play, the deeper you fall into the pit.

They Create too Much Chaos

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Narcissists bring a great deal of chaos to their relationships. A partner with a narcissistic personality will create turmoil on a regular basis and on purpose to keep you in a heightened state of anxiety. He or she will do this even when things are good so you don’t expect the relationship to go left or end. They will do things to catch their partners off guard like avoiding them or giving them the silent treatment. This leaves their partner trying to figure out what happened or what they did wrong. This is just the kind of attention they’re looking for. Creating chaos is one of the oldest narcissistic tricks in the book and if you think it’s not intentional, you can guess again. Everything that a narcissist does is done with the purpose of keeping you on your toes. The chaos they create tends to be a passive-aggressive, manipulative type of behavior and overtime, it becomes an everyday occurrence.

They Are too Controlling

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Narcissists are super controlling partners. They not only demand control, they thrive off of it. They are so into themselves that it’s hard for relationships to work. People with narcissist tendencies use many tactics in order to dominate their partners – whether they or their partners realize what’s happening. Sometimes, the emotional manipulation is complex enough that the person who is being controlled actually believes that they themselves are the villain, or that they are extremely lucky that their partner puts up with them. What makes dealing with them especially difficult is their lack of empathy or real accountability. They reject feedback and make up their own rules to live by. You become a slave to their demands and end up feeling like you’ve lost control of the relationship.

The Mask Eventually Falls Off

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One of the main reasons why relationships won’t last with a narcissist is because the victim eventually sees the narcissist for who they really are. You eventually become tired of being the one who is always worrying or feeling sorry for your partner. You may have taken the blame from the narcissist for everything that has gone wrong in the relationship, both real and imagined. Eventually the mask falls off. You start to see that you’ve fallen into certain co-dependent habits and know that it’s not healthy for you. This often happens when you pull the trigger by being honest and telling it like it is. You may say something that triggers the narcissistic behavior and not take it back. This causes the narcissistic person to expose themselves and because you won’t back down, they can’t save face.