Prayables - Romans 12:2 - Scripture

Blog: Goodness Gracious

"Sin boldly, yet more boldly still believe."
~Martin Luther

Seriously, could I be any more Lutheran?

My parents both attended Lutheran schools and built Lutheran careers. I went to a Lutheran grade school. On Sundays, I sat in church beside my father, listening to his baritone voice take charge of "A Mighty Fortress is Our God," and every Christmas Eve, I stood in a candlelit sanctuary singing the first verse of "Silent Night" in German.

And when I had to do a book report on a biography in fifth grade, I selected Kitty, My Rib, a biography on Katherine Luther plucked from my parents bookshelf, which sagged under the weight of volumes on Lutheran doctrine.

We're talking severe Lutheranism.

Which is why it comes as somewhat of a surprise to me that I'm so uncomfortable with grace. Lutherans are first and foremost, grace junkies. It never mattered what the theme of my Sunday school classes were—from David and Goliath to sexual purity—the teachers would always find a way to work in God's grace and the Christian belief that Jesus came to prove that God's love trumped the law, so that not even our raging imperfections could separate us from our unreasonably forgiving God.

Oh, the heart swells! God's grace is intoxicating. How am I so uncomfortable with it?

I don't do well with gifts I don't deserve. The kindnesses of family and friends are always welcome and appreciated, but I always feel that drop of guilt inside . . . that nagging reminder that I haven't really done enough to deserve their generosity.

This is how I dealt with God's grace in the early days of my faith. The constant reminders of his undeserved love had me examining the true extent of my unworthiness. I saw goodness as a dress that God let me borrow. I, myself, was a wretched, crusty beast, but God's grace was a dress that I could put on sometimes to cover up my beastliness, to pretend that I wasn't who I actually was. I felt almost as though goodness was a role God let me play... a lie He let me live, but I think I'm finally beginning to understand what a remarkable gift God's grace actually is.

God's grace—God's goodness—is actually a seed of light within me. I can't escape it, and I can't claim wretchedness anymore, because my sneaky-pants of a higher power went and planted grace in a place where I wouldn't be able to grab it and toss it aside when I'm looking for another round of self-flagellation.

Naturally, I still have streaks of wretchedness. I still have demons to confront and moods to address. I still need His grace, and each day I do something new to prove that I don't deserve it, but it's a relief to finally recognize that His goodness is inside of mean— honest, permanent, and growing testament to who I will one day be in Him.

- Abigail Wurdeman

Joke: Finding Jesus

A man is stumbling through the woods lost and a little confused when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around, sees the man, and gets excited about his new convert. He asks the stranger, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

He answers, "uh, yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks him, "Brother, have you found Jesus?" The man replies "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks
again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The man gives the same answer, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again---but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the man, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The man wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?