Love Jokes

Doilies

There was once a man and woman who were married for more than 60 years. They shared everything. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet. She cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not

recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $50,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be

married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I

should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."

The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two

times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies."

Frustrated Bride

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"So," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook..."