Jokes That Mean Business

Mergers

INVESTMENT ADVICE:

I thought that you might like to be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in the fourth quarter of this year and make yourself a bundle:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace
Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and
become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge
and become: ZipAudi DoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell
Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

Bank Loan

A woman walks into a bank, in New York City, and asks for the loan
officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out.

The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the lady for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled... While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The woman replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"